Please don't read this unless you have stopped for a long time or are strong,
I don't want to be the bad person that draws you back into drinking.
I'm halfway there - to being fuzzy at least, but don't worry - I'll finish the job.
I was a gentleman and bought my wife some wine, she was pleased, she had a few small glasses and then passed the last glass over to me.
I had already had a few and have some cider in the cupboard too, which I have had a pint of.
Is there anything you people know that has made you put the glass down once you've started.
I was going to sail my small, scruffy yacht this weekend, but can't because I can't stop drinking yet.
I have a dig appointment with an important customer next week on Friday, when I am "required" to drink.
I work for myself, it's not the bosses that demand, but the customers.
So I'll Pi-- away this week, and hope I don't drink enough in front of my customer to get thrown out, and hopefully feel sober enough to drive 3 hours to the boat.
I keep lying to my eldest son about the weather etc.
The lying isn't good but I am not about to tell my 11yr old his dad is totally off the rails.
He knows I am nervous about going to the boat, but just thinks it's the engine failing, the weather ....
Truth is I don't want to put him at risk if I've had too many.
I don't even think my wife knows or understands how grim I feel.
Believe me I don't talk about it unless I'm literally begging her to help, or got too pi-sed too early and crying about it like a baby - and at 6ft 2 Im a bit big for that.
Anyway, don't feel you need to reply because I'm shutting down and going to get brain dead again.
Please don't follow my example though, I'll need your support tomorrow.
sorry to bore you, most of my brain is still intact, except the need for alcohol bit.
If there are any surgeons out out there, surely we can find the craving part and cut it out.
Nt Nt, I'm going.
Andrew.
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