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    #1

    hard time getting started

    Hi,

    I seem to be fighting myself. I keep overindulging. Maybe it's because I'm like, forcing this? Maybe because I've had sort of a punishing attitude toward myself that I rebel against. Maybe I need to look at it more as healing. When I'm judgemental with myself, then I rebel, and it's a vicious cycle and I don't get anywhere, even when I take the supps and listen to the cds. I started this in September and here it is almost the end of October and I'm still drinking too much. Or I was. Let me try to keep it in the past tense.

    Maybe if I come up with a plan that is so simple I won't forget - something like, alternate one day AF and one day mod, no more than 3, and see how that goes. And the day after a stressful event should be AF, because when I'm feeling stressed and fed up with things (Mondays after an in-law visit, for example), then I'm most at risk. I need to find better ways to soothe myself.

    One time my husband said I'm turning into my mother. I don't want to put my daughter through what I went through, but I have been. Well, not as bad, but bad enough. On the one hand I really feel like I can learn to moderate, but on the other hand I'm discouraged and scared.
    :new:
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    #2
    hard time getting started

    Hi Workinprogress and Welcome.
    Definitely try to make a plan because without one....well, we know what happens. Start small like 3 days AF and more and more...I try to live in the moment and never the past. So, one day at a time works for me most of the time. We all slip but it's important to keep trying and never, ever give up. Best to you on your sobriety journey!
    When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
    -- Franklin D Roosevelt --

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      #3
      hard time getting started

      hi w life is a miracle..its we humans make it miserable...cant blame anyone but ourself....u have the power within u...only thing is u by urself have to find it ....dont complicate life by thinking too much...chill out u can do it.....cheers..

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        #4
        hard time getting started

        It's almost like...remember that old sketch or whatever they are called on Saturday Night Live, when they did stupid things, "just to see what would happen"? Jon Lovitz was in most of them, I think. It's like the stubborn adolescent in me is testing the remedies or something. I think I've been leaving out the mental part, which is probably the most important. I'm going to review that, in the toolbox. And the part about urge surfing. Daddynotcool, you're new here too - have you seen the toolbox yet? And yes, I think you are right about thinking too much! I think I have driven myself to drink by thinking too much and trying too hard in general in life.

        I stopped taking Effexor because I had heard that it can increase alcohol cravings, but I'm not sure that it has helped. I guess it's all part of the process. I just want to stop struggling. I guess in that case abstinence would be wiser, but I just really feel like I haven't given the mod thing a fighting chance yet.

        We can do this....

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          #5
          hard time getting started

          Hi WIP -

          I relate to all that rebelling against yourself thing... Thought I was the Only crazy person to do that!

          It seems EVERYONE first comes on here hoping to moderate (myself included). There's a recent thread on here asking if anyone has been successful at that... All who answered said No.

          It's scary to think of a life w/out alcohol when it's been such a part of our lives, often for many years.

          But, believe it or not, taking alcohol out of the picture completely is often easier than trying to "regulate" it.

          I think all have agreed pretty much that at least in the beginning, it is good to get 30 days AF. But that Really can sound impossible... so it's best to aim for smaller goals. Try 1 week. Think of it as a game, if you have to!

          After just 1 week, you will notice that you're not thinking about it as much. The "habit" part of the equation is weakened. And then you'll actually start to feel better! Less depressed and anxious.

          Believe me, I'm no expert, but I've seen this to be true. Sometimes we just have to see for ourselves (especially us Rebels!).

          You CAN do this.
          Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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            #6
            hard time getting started

            Hi

            Hi - i find it hard to regulate alcohol and I think too much about the funk i'm in. If i didn't drink my life would be simplier - i feel like i never have any energy to do anything. i also have to realize i'm worth being alcohol free. i started the kudzu and amino acid tabs and so i hope the cravings go away. i'm thinking of going to an AA meeting but i'm so exhausted.

            thanks for listening.

            jeanie

            :new:

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              #7
              hard time getting started

              hi W...yes thats right when we stop struggling life becomes lot easier....s iam new ..i dont use internet that much(old school)...i dont know where that tool box is...

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                #8
                hard time getting started

                I know that I don't have the strength to mod. I have tried before and after 3 drinks and I have a buzz going then I say "what the hell" and keep drinking. It never fails. The only way I can mod is if I only have 1 or 2 drinks and don't get a buzz..... and that never happens. It is not worth it to me to drink one or two because I will be thinking about more the whole time and that will ruin my night, event, etc. Good luck to people who can mod. I just don't have the will power once I start. Sad but true.

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                  #9
                  hard time getting started

                  Hi wip, daddynotcool & jeanieflan,

                  Just wanted to welcome all of you and pass on some tips!

                  If you haven't read the MWO, download it & read it now. You get it right in the Health Store here on the website.
                  It is highly recommended that you get at least 30 AF days under your belt before you attempt to drink moderately. It takes time for your body to heal after the alcohol abuse. It takes time for your mind to clear completely.
                  You each need to make a plan - one that is just for you! You know yourselves best, your likes & dislikes.... Look here for ideas for your plan https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
                  Most of all you need to make a commitment to yourselves. You have to want to quit more than you want to drink! Think about all you will be gaining, your health, relationships, finances - the list goes on!

                  I wish you all the very best.
                  This is a journey, not an event!

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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