Last night I drank so much that I fell into my wood stove and have some nasty burns on my arm and hand. I took some anti-anxiety meds today to try to stop the shakes...but I guess that didn't work since a woman commented that my burns must be really hurting since I was shaking. And they do hurt...but I know that wasn't why I was shaking. And yet I went and bought vodka today...telling myself I will quit the first of November, at least try for 30 days AF. My husband is sick of my drinking. I'm such a horrible example for my kids. I really wonder what it will take for me to quit. I've had so many low points I can't even count them all. I hope nobody is sick of my pathetic posts...I really hope someday soon I will have something positive to say! Thanks everyone!
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Hi Schaefer28,
I am so sorry that you are burned and trust me I am an expert at hurting myself while drunk, waking up with some really nasty bruises. So, please try to make sure you take care of those burns. Your posts are not pathetic at all and oh gosh please try to not to beat yourself over it. I understand where you are coming in some ways but my only advice is try to stop now because you and I know that when November will come around then it will December and so on and so on.....
Anyway, I too, am struggling with this but will not give up....TRY, TRY AGAIN is my mantra... Since being a MWO member, I have achieved 17 days, my longest being 90 days (AA but it just wasn't for me). So, I know I can do it and so can you, so can we all. Stay strong and please don't beat yourself up, it makes matters worse. You are not alone....
Question: Have you had any AF days? (Didn't get a chance to read your previous post)
Big hugs :l to you and please know this is not easy........keep us posted.....
Janet
Day 3 AFAF Since May 2nd 2012 -
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Schaef--good for you for posting and reaching out. That is a HUGE step! It seems the best thing we can offer is our own experience. Read as much as you can on the site and see if some things hit home with you. When you are ready to make a change this site can really help.
:hOpenheart"Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary OliverComment
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I agree with Openheart, my advice on quitting is now what I need to do in order to make my "plan" work for me and you will find yours. I just read a few of your previous posts and want you to know that you are still new to making a change, so please don't be so hard on yourself. I also am not applying that it's okay to keep drinking, just want you to know, we all know how you feel.
JanetAF Since May 2nd 2012Comment
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Schaefer - I'm SO sorry you hurt yourself!
I think you would be amazed at how much better you feel, both physically and emotionally, if you would Allow yourself to stop drinking.
Take baby steps: Start with Just ONE DAY... and then build on that.
Keep trying - that's the key. Don't give up!!Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais NinComment
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Thank you everyone for your caring and concern. After my mom saw my burns today she made me go to the hospital...I'm 42...but a mom is always a mom! I suspect my family knows the reason I fell into the fire. Janet, to answer your question about AF days the most I've had is a month about a year and a half ago...and to be honest that was the result of the most shameful, horrible weekend of my life (caused by my drinking). As I was sitting at the hospital, feeling so ashamed, I thought of the support I have received on this site...and it helped. So thanks again!Comment
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When you said you don't know why you do this thing, i can understand. We can intellecualise it, but the bottom line is i don't care about myself, and i want to keep drinking. I am bored.One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!Comment
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Schaefer, I sure can relate to the pain you are in, not only the physical but also the mental. At least we are here and are doing our best and have a wonderful support system here.
Have you ever logged your number of drinks in the drink tracker? I have found that helpful for my positive mindset. Even though I may be drinking I can see the days that I have drank zero or have cut back considerably. I consintrate of the positive the best I can. Anyway, just a thought.Comment
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New kid on the block
Hi Schaefer 28, sorry to hear you're hurting, hope you feel better soon, take care of yourself.:new:Comment
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Reow...sadly, you're exactly right SparkleAZ, thank you for your suggestion...I will check that out! I'm embarrassed to say that lately I've been drinking so much, and mixing them SO strong...that I don't really know how many drinks I've had...just know that' it's way too many...feel like crap and shaky the next day...and can't wait until 5:00 so I can start the whole thing again...Nina...I'm glad you're on here...welcome!
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