This is sort of what I was trying to say...

[savon19]

in my post about how Sometimes coming on MWO makes me Think about drinking... which leads to... drinking. (Some misunderstood me.. this is NOT to say I don't love MWO!! I just think it's good to be aware.)

(This is from daily email I get from Purpose Driven Life. My words in Red - or my emphasis.)

"Have you ever watched a food advertisement on television and suddenly felt you were hungry? Have you ever heard someone cough and immediately felt the need to clear your throat? Ever watched someone release a big yawn and felt the urge to yawn yourself?

This is the power of suggestion working within your mind. We naturally move toward whatever our attention is focused on. The more you think about something, the stronger it takes hold of you, which is why the Bible teaches that we should, "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace" (2 Timothy 2:22 NLT).

That is why repeating, "I must stop eating too much . . . or stop smoking [or stop DRINKING] . . . or stop lusting" is a self-defeating strategy. It keeps you focused on what you don’t want. It's like announcing, "I'm never going to do what my mom did." You are setting yourself up to repeat it.

Temptation begins by capturing your attention. What gets your attention arouses your emotions. Then your emotions activate your behavior, and you act on what you feel. The more you focus on "I don’t want to do this," the stronger temptation draws you into its web.

Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don't argue with it, just hang up!Sometimes this means physically leaving a tempting situation. This is one time it is okay to run away. Get up and turn off the television set. Walk away from a group that is gossiping. Leave the theater in the middle of the movie.

To avoid being stung, stay away from the bees!"

[hippie37]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

It's very difficult to explain your thoughts sometimes I think Sav. Don't feel the need to 'explain' yourself though. I for one understand completely what you mean but I'm not even going to try and begin explaining the thought process that went with that for me!!

I often at times felt the need to jump in and redeem myself for fear I'd said the wrong thing or it went against the grain. I sometimes did it just to piss people off and get attention at times!. I stand by what I say today because I know it's the real me that's talking and I'm not trying to make myself out to be the rebel or upstart that I wanted everyone to know I was. I'll let you into a little secret... I STILL am that rebel! but I have more conviction with what I say today and post. At the end of the day people are entitled to their opinions, as am I, and whether they agree or disagree with my way of thinking then it has nothing to do with me. I've learned to accept that I'm nothing special, although my ego wants to tell me differently, and that not everyone in the world is going to agree with me or even like me. That's the way of the world I guess! I just be true to who I am and that's good enough for me.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[savon19]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

Hippie... Hmmm! Now I think You misunderstood. I didn't post the above to "vindicate" my other post. More to clarify.

(In fact, I edited to add the sentence about people misunderstanding the original post - but you couldn't know that! )

I just thought the sentence in red was a Great explanation of how temptation works. It's a wily devil, for sure!

It seems counter-intuitive that telling yourself NOT to do something would result in the opposite - but I believe (and have seen) that to be true.

So we have to walk that fine line between our good intentions and somehow not Focusing on them. Tricky business.

[KateH1]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

Savon....I totally understood your point in your first thread.....I have had the same experience.....and you are so right.....temptation is a whily character, subtle and cunning! There are times, when I need to take a break from here for a while.......

[Gold]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

I think I understand what you are saying Savon, and it's certainly true that what we focus on we become.

"Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don't argue with it, just hang up!Sometimes this means physically leaving a tempting situation. This is one time it is okay to run away. Get up and turn off the television set. Walk away from a group that is gossiping. Leave the theater in the middle of the movie."

I think this is very much so, but we have to fill the space with something else, something positive and I've come to see that this particular situation requires that I choose sobriety and all that entails, which I am still defining for myself, rather than fighting the urge to buy a bottle of wine and drink it.

I am inspired by the people here who have, in their own way, chosen sobriety and are living their lives from that position. That is what I have chosen for myself too, it's a subtle but powerful difference to choose the positive opposite of that which we want to end.

[brightlite]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

When temptation calls you on the phone.....LOL. When temptation sends you a candygram.....don't answer the door. When temptation tries to seduce you......run away! When temptation tries to sell you that condo in Florida....cancel your appointment! HA!

Seriously Sav, I understood completely the first time you wrote your thoughts on being tempted by reading the boards. While we struggle to become sober, we come here for inspiration and comraderie, however I can see how reading the posts, even just the word WINE...wine...wine..wine everywhere, tells my brain to think about it. I applaud all the long time abstainers who visit daily and inspire us and offer guidance to us. I am also looking outside of MWO for positive changes and inspiration too, something completely Non-AL related. I have never been a big fan of the ideals of AA and do not attend, for some it works, but between MWO and if I attending AA, I feel I would be forced to think about Alcohol way more than I want to. So...I completely agree with the point that you are trying to relay to everyone. The best way to fight it may be to ignore it or replace it with something positive and non-al related.

[brightlite]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

Oh Congrats on your "Senior Member" status..Sav!

[agapanthus]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

I think it's best to focus on what you do want, (i.e., healing) rather than what you don't want (addiction). It's hard sometimes.

Good non-al things to pursue, I think, are books and cds about mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Their focus is not on addiction at all, but mindfulness is very helpful.

I'm no expert, but encouraged, and working on it

[TranqWilly]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

Hey Sav!

Perhaps a different way to look at it is that temptations arise from things we 'associate' with drinking rather than merely putting a word or thought in our head. It's kind of like seeing a heineken commercial on TV - it doesn't get me storming out to the nearest liquor store. That said, I would tend to associate mwo with NOT drinking - i. e. putting it in a more positive aspect in my mind. But I think everyone creates their own associations.

btw - I do agree with agapanthus - I'm just scratching the surface too, but the mindfulness stuff is pretty cool.

Take care!
tw

[savon19]

This is sort of what I was trying to say...

Good stuff, Sheri -- along the lines of what we "Preach"... Delay & Distract!

NOW, if I can Only apply this to quitting smoking!! Today was my quit date. I talked myself into/justified? that quitting on Nov. 1 would be much Neater (or something?).

OMG. This is Waaay harder for me. I have quit for fairly long periods of time (longest being about 5 mos. & most recently about 40 days)... yet Now, I'm having huge problem just getting started - as in ONE DAY!!

I know the problem is that while I Intellectually want to quit for the many obvious reasons, I honestly don't DESIRE it. Changing that is difficult...

BUT, I will do it. (Somehow??) :upset:

PS - CONGRATS on your being NF for so long...!! FAB!