Announcement

**tiptronic_ct** · October 30, 2009, 04:58 PM

My first time here...

Hey, Merlie

Welcome to MWO!

AL = alcohol
AF = alcohol free (sober)

I'm not aware of a list of acronyms, but if you don't understand an abbrevaition, just post and ask

If you tell us more about your current situation, we will be better-placed to give you guidance as to how to take it from here. You've already taken the biggest step: to join up and post. You won't regret it.

For starters, you can make sure that you're eating well and drinking lots of water.

**akgirl** · October 30, 2009, 05:04 PM

My first time here...

Hi and welcome!

I bumped a thread called acronyms for you, it has most of them I'm sure.

If I had to pick one thing it would be Kudzu. You can get it at a health store and its about$25 or so.

Good luck to you
:l
Ak

**MerlieMcFurley** · October 30, 2009, 07:20 PM

My first time here...

tiptronic_ct;747652 wrote: Hey, Merlie

Welcome to MWO!

AL = alcohol
AF = alcohol free (sober)

I'm not aware of a list of acronyms, but if you don't understand an abbrevaition, just post and ask

If you tell us more about your current situation, we will be better-placed to give you guidance as to how to take it from here. You've already taken the biggest step: to join up and post. You won't regret it.

For starters, you can make sure that you're eating well and drinking lots of water.

Thanks Tip! Do I just blurt out my entire mess in this thread or where do I start?

Merls

**MerlieMcFurley** · October 30, 2009, 07:21 PM

My first time here...

akgirl;747657 wrote: Hi and welcome!

I bumped a thread called acronyms for you, it has most of them I'm sure.

If I had to pick one thing it would be Kudzu. You can get it at a health store and its about$25 or so.

Good luck to you
:l
Ak

I noticed that, akg, and thank you!

Is there a strength to the kudzu? I'll get some tomorrow.

Merls

**Lavande** · October 30, 2009, 08:37 PM

My first time here...

Hi Merlie,

Welcome, you have found a good place!

I would suggest downloading the MWO book ($12.95), it has lots of good information. I purchased the Hypnotherapy CDs & found them very helpful in learning to focus & relax. I did not use any of the supplements offered here. I take my own multivitamins & herbal supplements. Most of all you need to make a good plan for yourself, one you can stick to.......Look in the Tool box (located in the Monthly Abstinence section) for good ideas for your plan.

Please feel free to join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread for lots of support.

Wishing you the best on your journey!
Lav

**MerlieMcFurley** · October 31, 2009, 12:38 AM

My first time here...

Hi Everyone

I am very happy to share my story, but I'm not sure where to start. Do I do it here, or is there another thread for introductions?

My biggest proglem with getting started is that I don't really WANT to get started. I know that this problem is out of control, but as long as it's not hurting anyone else... why would I give this up?

I'm definitely a contradiction in terms. I know this drinking is hurting my body, but other than that I could honestly do this indefinitely.

How do I make myself WANT to stop?

Annie

**MerlieMcFurley** · October 31, 2009, 12:47 AM

My first time here...

ETA

I am really questioning this, and anyone who could shed some insight? I would so, so appreciate it!!

**Guest** · October 31, 2009, 12:56 AM

My first time here...

You are very ... human in wondering those things.

And it IS a perplexing, difficult to answer much less for all individuals, set of questions you ask.

You both want to (when is sucks) and don't want to (when you want the buzz and are digging it).

And, if there is a [insert program or strategy] that will keep you from [when it sucks] but won't take away your choice to [go after the buzz] .....

Well, there lies the basis for a very troubling issue for many.

"If you feel the urge ... if you have triggers pulling at you ... CALL your sponsor or someone" ....

Hello? .... If you feel the urge or have triggers pulling at you .... The thoughts pull you other directions.

There ARE helpful supports here ... in the way of healthy supplements and daily living recommendations ... and the support of the on-line community.

There are no magic pills or formulas. IMHO.

**MerlieMcFurley** · October 31, 2009, 01:08 AM

My first time here...

MisterS;747798 wrote: You are very ... human in wondering those things.

And it IS a perplexing, difficult to answer much less for all individuals, set of questions you ask.

You both want to (when is sucks) and don't want to (when you want the buzz and are digging it).

And, if there is a [insert program or strategy] that will keep you from [when it sucks] but won't take away your choice to [go after the buzz] .....

Well, there lies the basis for a very troubling issue for many.

"If you feel the urge ... if you have triggers pulling at you ... CALL your sponsor or someone" ....

Hello? .... If you feel the urge or have triggers pulling at you .... The thoughts pull you other directions.

There ARE helpful supports here ... in the way of healthy supplements and daily living recommendations ... and the support of the on-line community.

There are no magic pills or formulas. IMHO.

Thank you for answering me, Mister.

I don't have a sponsor. I don't have anything. All I have it tuning into this board today.

For some reason I have an aversion to going to AA meetings, and so I'm hoping that someone here will have some words of wisdom for me. I want to get started and change my life... but at the same time, I don't really want to.

I am quite fine going on with drinking the way I do for the rest of my (shortened) life, but I don't want my husband to find out about the amount of money I'm spending on alcohol. I think that would be the thing he'd care about over anything else and that really hurts. I have teenaged children who still need me (apparently) but they don't show that in any tangible way. I never see them. I feel very much alone.

What do I do? Where do I start?

Annie

**Guest** · October 31, 2009, 01:34 AM

My first time here...

MerlieMcFurley;747799 wrote: Thank you for answering me, Mister.

I don't have a sponsor. I don't have anything. All I have it tuning into this board today.

For some reason I have an aversion to going to AA meetings, and so I'm hoping that someone here will have some words of wisdom for me. I want to get started and change my life... but at the same time, I don't really want to.

I am quite fine going on with drinking the way I do for the rest of my (shortened) life, but I don't want my husband to find out about the amount of money I'm spending on alcohol. I think that would be the thing he'd care about over anything else and that really hurts. I have teenaged children who still need me (apparently) but they don't show that in any tangible way. I never see them. I feel very much alone.

What do I do? Where do I start?

Annie

I'm no expert. On anything.

But after reading that .... I'd say start with some serious thought about yourself.

Who are you now? What, if you could choose, would you want to be?

Is there something YOU can be ... other than a reflection of what a husband or children may or may not see or feel about you .... that you want to be? Is there a purpose or a mission or something that does, or would, make you feel good?

And that may be a good wife, or a good mother, and/or a person who ... organizes a food drive, or works on traffic safety in your neighborhood or city, or who writes a book or keeps a journal or something. I don't know. But something.

It almost sounds like you are ambivalent about your ambivalence. And I'm not sure that is a place from which to mount a challenge to problem drinking .... if it's a problem.

**Guest** · October 31, 2009, 01:54 AM

My first time here...

I re-read that and it comes off much more harsh than I ever intended.

Sorry.

Many here will see your post and give you some ideas and suggestions. They all aren't on-line at once .... so be patient.

Best of luck.

**being me** · November 1, 2009, 03:19 AM

My first time here...

This is my first day= What do you do when your whole social life has been dining and drinking. Going shopping and choosing restaurants purely because they sell alcohol instead of using the food court. Im 54 so gym junkie is not quite the alternative. I work out at home so walking wont curb the desire and church is not my thing. I use Gold class in the movies so that I can drink while I watch the movie. ed me to be the same over 12 years of a toxic marriage. My marriage recently headed which was a good thing because he was a heavy drinker and trainI am hoping that this site will give me a kick start to a change. Any ideas please?

**MerlieMcFurley** · November 1, 2009, 02:43 PM

My first time here...

MisterS;747803 wrote: I'm no expert. On anything.

But after reading that .... I'd say start with some serious thought about yourself.

Who are you now? What, if you could choose, would you want to be?

Is there something YOU can be ... other than a reflection of what a husband or children may or may not see or feel about you .... that you want to be? Is there a purpose or a mission or something that does, or would, make you feel good?

And that may be a good wife, or a good mother, and/or a person who ... organizes a food drive, or works on traffic safety in your neighborhood or city, or who writes a book or keeps a journal or something. I don't know. But something.

It almost sounds like you are ambivalent about your ambivalence. And I'm not sure that is a place from which to mount a challenge to problem drinking .... if it's a problem.

You're right... I AM ambivalent about my ambivalence. I was reading the What I Loathe About AL last night and I could see myself in so many of those comments. It changed my opinion about my drinking.

I came to understand that I haven't hit ROCK BOTTOM yet, and that's why I'm not terribly concerned. No one sees me drink, my husband goes to bed early, my teens are out til after I go to bed and it really doesn't affect anyone but me. I don't drive after I've had even one glass of wine, and I don't talk to anyone on the phone. Of course, it's possible that I may think I'm getting away with this and everyone knows anyway.

But reading that list last night made me sick. I saw a lot of myself in those comments, and it made me realize that I do not want to hit rock bottom! It made me realize that I do not want to continue on this slippery slope.

I honestly hope that I'm ready to begin this journey. I've eaten well this morning and I'm drinking lemon juice and I hope that I still feel this way by the time my husband goes to bed this evening.

**MerlieMcFurley** · November 1, 2009, 02:44 PM

My first time here...

MisterS;747808 wrote: I re-read that and it comes off much more harsh than I ever intended.

Sorry.

Many here will see your post and give you some ideas and suggestions. They all aren't on-line at once .... so be patient.

Best of luck.

No worries at all. I think what I need is someone to kick me in the butt! LOL

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