how do you manage triggers?

[agapanthus]

I was doing pretty well with the mod thing, until yesterday. My in-laws visit a lot, and they are rather intense, and what tends to happen is as soon as they leave I grab a beer. I was only going to have a couple but continued...if there is anything good about this I found that my tolerance has decreased already. Anyway, I'm thinking what I should have done...just sat on the couch and tried to meditate? Just lie down for a while? Weekends when they are here I can't listen to the cds. Too many hectic days in a row tend to sabotage me. I feel like I can't listen to cds when they leave because I'm interrupted by my daughter all the time so maybe just read one of my inspirational books, and if it's just a couple pages or paragraphs at a time, that's ok. Hubby travels a lot, and that's frustrating, too. We might have to move, and I'm upset about that possibility. Who knows. I hate the unknown. Need to have faith. I'm rambling...

I think I need to write down on that worksheet thing in the MWO book, "When this happens, I will do x" instead of drinking. And then remember it when I listen to the cd and insert it where the suggestions go.

[Boss.man]

how do you manage triggers?

One at a time!

One thing that really works for me is a cookie. At least, it gives me some sugar and sweets, and helps insure any trigger is not simply for food. I keep a box of oatmeal cookies handy, and eat one when I'm craving.

People report L-Glut works the same; a quick fix.

Longer term, I "role play" the triggers in my mind. Especially if there's a party or something I'm planning for. I think through the steps of pouring myself a substitute drink, and saying no to people, and enjoying myself without alcohol.

My last few slips have been when things hit me that were not expected. But my greatest progress was in handling the normal day-to-day triggers. Later, I found that helped cover me for the unexpected stuff also as I started thinking "I'm not going to let this foul up what I've been working so hard on".

[agapanthus]

how do you manage triggers?

thanks!

Thank you, I'll try the cookie thing. Good idea! And maybe after the next visit, I should get my daughter settled with a cartoon and then jump in the bathtub as soon as they are out of the driveway.

[agapanthus]

how do you manage triggers?

And maybe that will help me to slow down and think instead of being impulsive.
Thanks for sharing, it is encouraging to read that someone has found ways to deal with this that work. Congratulations!

[Marshy]

how do you manage triggers?

Hi agapanthus,

Families, eh? :H

I'd agree with the jumping in the bath. I spent a LOT of time in the bath in the early days. Haha.

Also, have you thought about AF beer? I know people are divided on this, and some people consider it to be a trigger but I found it useful when I was starting out. It gave me that feeling of relaxation without drinking alcohol. Now, I hardly ever drink it (can't remember the last time I had some) but it worked for me at the time.

[ronaldolover]

how do you manage triggers?

Marshy - how did you go from being dependent on alcohol to not being able to remember the last time you had a drink? That is AWESOME! I only wish that one day I can say the same thing! Did you take any meds?

[Marshy]

how do you manage triggers?

ronaldolover;749316 wrote: Marshy - how did you go from being dependent on alcohol to not being able to remember the last time you had a drink? That is AWESOME! I only wish that one day I can say the same thing! Did you take any meds?

No, I meant I can't remember the last time I had AF beer. I remember the last time I had a drink. Well, actually a bottle of sherry glugged down in about half an hour before Christmas last year.

As for going from being dependent to AF... hmm I suppose for me it boils down to hard work. I didn't take meds (except Antabuse for about three weeks to give me a kickstart when I was finding it really difficult to string any AF time together). Other than that, I tried counselling, hypnotherapy, exercise, AA, this forum, meditation... etc etc until I found things that worked for me.

Stick with it, ronaldolover, and you WILL say the same thing.

[agapanthus]

how do you manage triggers?

thanks

Yes, and maybe the move, if it happens, would cut down on any family difficulties, simply because we'd be farther away...

AF beer might be something to try again. There have been times when it did make me want a real beer, but maybe if I alternate...

Marshy;749306 wrote: Hi agapanthus,

Families, eh? :H

I'd agree with the jumping in the bath. I spent a LOT of time in the bath in the early days. Haha.

Also, have you thought about AF beer? I know people are divided on this, and some people consider it to be a trigger but I found it useful when I was starting out. It gave me that feeling of relaxation without drinking alcohol. Now, I hardly ever drink it (can't remember the last time I had some) but it worked for me at the time.

[shirazgirl]

how do you manage triggers?

I have found that the worst triggers are the unexpected ones. I had some sporting events to attend in the first few weeks that were always big drinking parties. I planned what I would drink at the stadium (hot chocolate if it was cold, a lemonade if it was warmer). I treated myself to a naughty food there as my reward for not drinking. I VOLUNTEERED to drive, as I never drink/drive. It wasn't as hard as I thought because I went in with a plan.

The unexpected almost derailed me a week ago. My father in laws b-day dinner. My inlaws don't know I have a drinking problem and don't even know I quit (I would always limit myself around them, didn't want to embarass myself or husband). When I got there, my mother in law had four bottles of red wine from their recent trip to Europe lined up and asked me to pick one out for dinner (oh and open it too). I stood there, wanting so BADLY to just "try" a little of one of the bottles. I stood there and fought w/ myself in my head for a solid 2 minutes. Finally I hung up on that voice, turned to my mother in law and told her a BOLD FACE lie right to her face. I said I was on anitbiotics and not permitted to drink (this was not the place or time to open pandoras box), she nodded politely and picked on out for the table. There, it was over. I committed myself to NOT drink by saying this. The episode was over and I could enjoy my dinner. Now I am coming up with a list of things to say when offered a drink by someone who does not know what is going on w/ me. I started playing them out in my head.

So, start imagining scenarios where you will be offered a drink. My teamate on my bowling league said to me tonight, "I'm going to the bar, you still dry?" I said no, not dry, just not drinking today!

[ronaldolover]

how do you manage triggers?

Shirazgirl - what a great idea! I am only on day 2 of being AF, but my worries are what will happen when I get into a situation where I am presented with alcohol. I am purposely skipping out on a sporting event tomorrow, just to avoid the temptation. But, I know that is not realistic. I am worried that I won't even be able go to a restaurant that serves alcohol because I won't be able to resist ordering a drink! How do I just order a lemonade? This is going to take time, but I am excited about the challenge. And it definitely helps to hear success stories! Thanks for sharing!