My little voice

[Bubbles]

Hi Everyone,

I've been reading this forum for the last couple of weeks and I see I have a lot in common with many of you.
I have been drinking six to ten beers every evening for the last twenty-five years. I have a successful business and a great family and absolutely no one knows how miserable I am. I function reasonably well through my morning hangovers and I usually start to feel better around cocktail hour. I live in Canada and I have been looking in to getting meds but it is very difficult here so I just stopped drinking on the weekend on my own. I feel great in the morning and I am much more productive at work. The only problem is that at around 5:00P.M. that little voice in my head starts rationalizing why it would be OK to have a drink or two just for one night and although I realize that is a terrible idea, that little voice is very persistant and compelling. I quit smoking twenty years ago and I remember the same voice back then. It eventually became weaker and finally left altogether. I would like to know from someone who has been AF for a long period if this voice or urge eventually tapers off and does it ever go away completely. I have been AF for four days and it would make things a lot easier if I knew these cravings will decrease.

Good Luck to everyone......Bubbles

[tawnyfrog]

My little voice

Hi Bubbles:welcome:

You know ... I don' think the little voice ever goes away ... but I like knowing that I can tell it to shut-the-f-up. And I like to think I'm louder than that little voice ...

Hey - you've done four AF days ... you should feel really good about that.

Hang with us for a while
Tawny

[Quiescent]

My little voice

I don't know where I heard this but someone said it's like a song that gets stuck in your head.

The only way to get the song to stop is to drink.

It takes at least three for me to get the song to stop.

[wwbarb]

My little voice

the 5:00 song

What I try to do (my time is 4:00) is have another plan for that time. Either go to a movie, make a date with a friend, go to the gym, play a computer game, etc.

My experience is that the "song" lasts for about 15 minutes or so. If I try to "play another song even louder" for that 15 minutes it goes away.

It takes time - the first week or so (maybe longer) I just had to white-knuckle it throught that time. Now, at 4:00, it may cross my mind that "it's drinking time", but I am so engrossed in other stuff that I really don't care to waste my time or calories.

Let's face it - most of us have been drinking longer than we haven't. It's a matter for some of us to get used to a new habit. It's hard, but it's worth it.

Barb

[Quiescent]

My little voice

Kate,

What an inspiring story....thank you for sharing

[lushy]

My little voice

Welcome Bubbles. I am a Scorpio as well! We all have that urge during cocktail hour that is for sure. And I agree with Barb that you gotta find something else to do. As many of us have noticed if you can make it through the witching hours (which for me is 4-7) then we are okay. Congrats on four days.

Kate, I had no idea you were eight months AF. Wow! I cannot even imagine. Good for you! It is inspiring to hear all of the positives about not drinking because it just gets me doing more and more AF days.

[Bubbles]

My little voice

Witching hours is a good description. Thanks for the comments and advice, I really appreciate it. I'll keep posting as I go and let's see what happens.

[xtexan]

My little voice

Hello Bubbles:

You might have read some of my posts about being abstinent for a while after 35 years of drinking. I quit smoking almost at exactly the same time last December.

The urges to drink come at high stress times, when circumstances pile up. My toughest time is Fridays after work when I would binge for hours, until all was lost. Now I have to be sure and prepare myself for that time, and plan on an exercise session, or something else that requires absolute sobriety.

The drive to drink does wane with time. The waves come at a slower pace, but seem to have an almost tidal surge to them. One of the members here mentioned lunar cycles, and that may be a definite factor that I have not considered. Learning about myself, and my own cycles and triggers has been a pursuit of decades.

I am still struggling to escape my emotional dependence on the drink. It has to be replaced with an inner calm, and a faith in something greater than myself. I avoid any talk of religious beliefs, because I think it is so personal to each one of us to find that way. In past attempts to stop drinking, I would just shift my emotional dependence to something else, and it always ended with a return to the bottle. Now, I strive to not be emotionally dependent on anything harmful, temporary, or superficial. The word dependent is not so bad. We are all dependent on air, water, and good food to survive. And we can depend on each other here in this forum.

Yes, it's been a little easier as of late. Do the program in your own time I would say, and read all the great suggestions and methods the members here have related. Strength comes from funny places sometimes. Keep your eyes and heart open, and look for those things when the wave hits.

[Preciouspinot]

My little voice

I really am identifing with so much right now.. the tidal waves....the witching hours....and the time spent in my life just trying to identify the triggers much less learning how to cope...but, with the more time being sober I have under my belt the more clarity that comes with it...hope everyone is doing well and keep posting...I've really enjoyed the postsw today!

[Bubbles]

My little voice

Last night, at the witching hour, I put on my running shoes and went for a nice long slow run. I've always kept fit but it's a lot easier and way more enjoyable running without a hangover. My wife made me a terrific dinner which I really enjoyed ( I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed a meal) and I found I slept much better. Pathetic as it may seem, that was the best evening I can remember in a very long time. The advice to plan an activity during my drinking hours is great. It sure beats sitting around watching the clock. I know I am just starting but I am already thinking of all the things I can do now with the time spent sitting on the couch drinking. Thanks for the support:thanks: and I'll keep posting....It seems to make things a little easier.

[Bubbles]

My little voice

Hi Katesm,

I just wanted to know how well the Campral worked. If it helps ease the cravings I might give it a try.

[InnerStrength]

My little voice

Hey Bubbles
where do ya live in canada?Im just outside Toronto!
Jen

[lushy]

My little voice

Great Job Bubbles! I hope it continues to be easy for you........funny how you can really taste food when your taste buds are not all numb from too much to drink, huh?

[pinkmilk]

My little voice

I'm so impressed with all you girls for staying AF for days, months at a time!
I haven't yet started the program, but I really want to. Just waiting for next month, when we get some money coming in and I can order the CDs and supps - and I will have to buy Topamax, as my GP didn't want to prescribe it (she sent me to some support centre instead, which I will try too).
It's so frightening though, to think that this craving always stays with you. I don't want to live my ife denying myself what I crave. Much easier to give in then and live with the consequences. Stopped drinking only twice this year for a few days and went through being sooooooo miserable both times. I am so much nicer with some wine in me.
From reading RJ book I thought kicking the habit could be a really rewarding exciting experience. Are you all saying that's not true and that it will always be a battle to stay off the booze?
Also, anyone have any good websites to buy Topamax from?
Best to all of you, Cerstin

[Allie]

My little voice

Pinkmilk,
The website that I get the Topamax from is in the UK. You dont need a prescription. I've had no problems with them, but it takes about 8 to 10 business days to arrive.

Wesite is: www.inhousepharmacy.com/uk

Hope you can get started soon!

I wish I could offer some insight on whether it gets easier after a long time of being AF, but I am doing moderation. The program and Topamax really helps for that as well, and I have come light years from where I was seven months ago when I started. My husband told me last night that he knows he hasnt mentioned my drinking in a while, but that he was sooo proud of me for the accomplishment I have made with this program, and that he is so grateful I found it. I am too!

All the best to both of you!
Allie