spiralling

[shelley]

ive used this website a few times before and always really been thankful for all he support given but then had a moment where ive thought " i dont need it any more i'm ok nothin wrong with me" i'm struggling right now....... i have my bf in the next room who is pissed that i even openend that second bottle of wine. truth is i have drunk it and the two beers hw had in the fridge and ive been of sick from work the last four days because ive been drinking too heavily to even think about going to work. i have a good job, a good life i'm still clinging to the last bottle of beer on the side. WHHYY???????????? it drives me to tears ido nothing but feel depressed all day, i have a good job this shouldn't be me.

[Guest]

spiralling

Awww Shelly.

Sorry to hear of the struggles. You are not alone, as much as I always used to think I was ...

Grab some water. And some more water. That's number one at the moment.

Then it will be more water and sleep if you can. You may need some medically monitored detox. It's nothing to mess with because it can be horrible and the doc's have some ways to make it a bit better.

But the real key, is that amongst all those rotten, depressive thoughts .... you KNOW ... you realize ... that this is not the way ... this is not you. Not really.

So, reach for some water and have a real drink (H2O).... fill the tummy with water and set the alcohol aside. It's what your heart and soul are begging your booze soaked mind and body to do. No one will tell you it's easy or something "easy" for you to just "do." But ... grab some water.

Check in here again.

[dill]

spiralling

Shelley, You deserve so much better! Going AF isn't easy, but it can feel so good! You know it! Get back in touch with this website more regularly and make a plan for tomorrow to be AF. You'll feel so much better by the time you go to bed tomorrow. Like Mr. S said, drink lots and lots of WATER!

[savon19]

spiralling

WISH I could say: I have a good job. Or any job!

Lucky you!!

You really don't want to be unemployed... and drunk. Believe me!

AND you have a boyfriend? Ummmm, sorry - but it's hard to feel bad for you.

But, of course, I DO want you to help yourself and enjoy all that life has given you.

Best of luck!

[AnyaPrincess]

spiralling

Shelley,

I don't really know what to say here, but my heart goes out to you! You have a good job but you feel that you're hanging on to it by your fingernails. You have a boyfriend, but he's only aiding you in your problem.

All I can say is that you are above this! You don't have to be overwhelmed with this. I'm still working this out for myself, but I will tell you that I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Hugs to you, Honey.

Annie

[lil.michelle]

spiralling

Hi Hun,
You say why? Habbit? you've got yourself into such a rut you don't think you can manage being sober for a day or night.... It's hard when we get addicited to something. Everyday we go sober is a struggle until we are completely out of the habbit and the way we think.
Instead of grabbing the wine or beer, grab a cup of tea, go have a bath, watch tv, go out, just stay away from that drink. Is a liquid worth losing your job and boyfriend over? Would you risk it with orange juice?? No you wouldn't but again they are both ONLY liquid. It's us, how we think that we need to change. Start by talking ot your boyfriend, being truthful and change your routine!

[cuckoosnest83]

spiralling

Shelley, I too have been struggling. I don't know what to tell you or how to encourage you other than to say that alcohol is robbing us of our lives. Please don't let it happen. Know that it is your choice to open that bottle of wine or beer. You have the power in you to choose not to do it. It sounds so easy but I know how truly difficult it is to choose not to drink. I will be thinking of you and hope to hear from you soon that you are doing better. Take care of yourself.

[mario]

spiralling

shelly Try and live one day at a time,make each day one of preparation for better things ahead.
Dont dwell on the past or the future,only on the present,bury all fear of the future,all thoughts of unkindness & bitterness,all your dislikes,your resentments,your sense of failure,your disappointment in others and in yourself,your gloom & despondency, leave all these things behind and go forward into a new life,The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself,it is not in your environment,it is not in luck or change or the help of others,it is in yourself alone. :-)

[daddynotcool]

spiralling

a story

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!
This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!
It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity....we can do it

[roberta930]

spiralling

Hi- read your thread and felt like putting my arm around you and telling you that you can do it! At least you're aware that it needs fixing- sounds like you're in a self-destruction spiral and probably think you're a worthless person- but you're not! you can get out of it- you sound bright and you need to love yourself more and break the pattern. The more you stay off work the harder it gets- I've been there myself. Drink plenty of water and gear yourself to returning to work as at least it will begin to give you a sense of purpose (and you won't be able to drink there) then try to analyse your other issues and why you're needing to do this to yourself.
wishing good luck and strength

[brightlite]

spiralling

Shelley,

Have gratitude for what you do have. Many of us are further down that slippery slope and have lost jobs and BF's and Husbands and homes and children. When you're thinking about opening that second bottle, think about all the things you could lose. I know AL is a tricky monster and is telling you that you will feel better or continue with a FALSE sense of "feeling good" if you drink. It wants to take everything from you, like it has with so many....and then laugh in your face! Be careful and congnizant of what you are really doing.

Daddynotcool, what a great story (parable) and so appropriate to how everyone should deal with adversity.....just shake it off and step up. Can be exhausting, but the rewards are great...YOUR LIFE!