November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Good night Navies. Lav?s description of me tonight as faltering hit home. I am at the place (around thirty days AF) where in the last couple of months I have ended up choosing to drink. A conscious choice, a permission, an experiment, a sneaky plan, an impulse gratified, whatever. It ended up not being what I wanted but I did it again thirty days later anyway. While I scared myself a couple of days ago by how close I came to drink on anxious impulse, so far no sauce has actually gone into the Ladybird this month and I want to keep it that way. I don?t have any subversive ?plans? or semiconscious fantasies festering in the wings, but I also no longer have alcohol in the house for ?visitors?. I just can?t be trusted. This morning I emailed my dinner guests for tomorrow evening, asking them to bring what they would like to drink with our meal, and, in what I think was an adequately dignified and amusing manner, ?outed? myself so there won?t be any confusion. To freedom. Love, Ladybird.

[scrubbly]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

ladybirdheart;758135 wrote: This morning I emailed my dinner guests for tomorrow evening, asking them to bring what they would like to drink with our meal, and, in what I think was an adequately dignified and amusing manner, “outed” myself so there won’t be any confusion.

You may have "outed" yourself to your guests but you are "in" on the ship. Good for you for taking that brave step. I remember when I told people I socialize with that I "just don't drink anymore"...it was a bit scary because I knew I was making a commitment forever more (what would they think about what had let me to that choice???....and even scarier in some respects, HOW could I explain EVER ordering a drink out again after that pronouncement??)

What I had done was built in a perfect system to keep myself honest with my friends and family, and it has done wonders for my long term AF commitment...the bumps in the road that I had since May were little solo forays that were extremely short lived and nothing to do with my lifestyle/regular habits (and therefore easier to bounce back from).

:l

[Tulipe]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hello to all, sorry to hear about some oopses, glad to hear about some successes. Just hoping today goes well for all of us.

[sooty]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Well I slipped and drank wine last night, even stopped on my way home and bought the damn stuff. There was a sort of inevitability about it, I had found Saturday night so hard and succeeded by taking myself off to bed and I just didn't seem to have the strength to fight last night.
I'm not even hungover I'm just disappointed with myself for giving in. So I will have a productive day today and put myself back in a postive/achieving mood and I will start by having a good clean through and tidy.
I am trying hard not to get too downhearted about being back at day 1 so I'm just looking on it as a little sidetrack rather than a big detour - I'll pretend my sat nav was playing up!
Thanks for being there shipmates, see you all later
Sooty

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Good morning. Day 2 for me. I am determined to go 30 days AF and beyond. But right now 30 days are my goal. I have done 30 days AF many times, and it is always a life improvement. I weighed myself today and will also go back to my sensible eating plan (not diet) where I eat right and feel well. Couldn't do that yesterday as I felt so sick. Again, I appreciate the support and encouragement. Thanks so much for being there, Lavande, Dill, Scrubbly, LBH, lodestar, mamazum, tulipe...I was so down and disgusted, again. This time it is different as it stops after one time.

I am also determined to exercise a little, to lift my mood, the endorphin thing. The winter is coming on, and it is so important to move at my age.

Sooty, you can start over again with me. Are you trying for a particular amount of time AF or to moderate? If it's ok, let me know. I need a buddy.

Can anyone tell me how to put at the bottom of my messages, AF since date. I really want that on my posts to remind me and enforce that this time it is forever, it has to be. For me seeing something helps reinforce.

Everyone, have a positive and productive day today, AF.

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Ahoy, Mateys!

Welcome MamaZum and Tulipe!

Red, to put a date at the bottom of a post, go to your User Control Panel and choose the Edit Signature option. The User CP link can be found at the bottom of the box at the top of this page that tells you what thread you are in. You know, the box that says: My Way Out Forums > Introduction and General Discussion > Just Starting Out. Click On User CP.

Friends, we have had a lot of faltering and renewed commitments here. Lets put the faltering behind us, and take that commitment forward with us.

I don't have much time this morning, so I will just wish us all peace and strength for the day.

[MamaZum]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hi dear NovNavs!

Lav, you are so right: "I'd be willing to bet that not one of us would ever consider abusing another person the way we have abused ourselves. We need to start treating ourselves as nicely as we treat others "

I am trying to figure out my plan. It has to be something very doable. I posted in ODAT thread also, I can't decide on a strategy. My goal for now is to drink in a moderate manner. That means not more than 3 days a week and not more than 4 drinks a night. One thing I know for sure: no more hungovers and wasted days!

If I am unable to stick to moderation, I will seriously consider AF option.

All, thanks for listening to my rants.

Have a fabulous day!

Love,
MZ

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Good morning November friends!

I feel fortunate - the sun is out again today
Always did make a huge difference in my mood......

I'm totally with Dill - let's put the faltering behind us, it's history! Let's recommit ourselves to be AF today! Tomorrow we will do the same thing, an so on!
We do need to be nicer to ourselves MamaZum, let's commit to that too

LBH, I'm sorry you had such a scare but perhaps it served a purpose. You are still here & still AF just as you wanted. I was subject to several realistic drinking dreams in the early months - scared the heck out of me. I hated waking with such a strong feeling of disappointment in myself only to realize it was a dream. I guess we need to accept these episodes as the powerful teaching tools they are.

Ms Sooty, jump back on board friend - you can't leave the helm unattended! Let's look for something else to do when we're feeling lonely, bored or just out of sorts.

Let's start a list of your favorite things to do when you feel yourself wavering!
1. I like to sit down with a cup of decaf green tea, organize & send pictures of Matt to CVS for printing! He is my #1 reason to stay AF, so all I have to do is think about him & I'm OK

OK, I'm wishing everyone a terrific, strong, commited Monday!
I'll be back tonight to read about everyone's favorite distractions

Be good to yourselves,
Lav

[Tulipe]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hi there,
Just chiming in in late afternoon for an AF hello! MZ sounds like 3 days to start might be a good place, not for me to give advice though.

[mighty mouse]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hello to all, I haven't posted all weekend. Got to busy but I miss everyone. I too fell off the ship. Friday night I drank a bottle of wine. What did it teach me? As I was drinking I really was not enjoying it. My almost 6 days AF had cleared my head and I was so enjoying myself. Woke up Sat to a busy day. I did it all but would have enjoyed it more with out the residual affects of AL. So today is monday and I haven't drank since then
back on day 3. For me it was easy not to drink again after friday..Those first 6 days AF had brought me into the light and it was loving and peaceful and hopeful and I liked that place and I liked that me.

To all holding on to the edge of the ship. Hang on..!!! We'll hold your hands

LBH, I hope your dinner party goes well..Proud of you

Job interview today, wish me luck

Mighty Mouse

[sdlovespackers]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Good Morning!

Oh Gosh I had lots of catching up to do...I didn't realize I had to finish up week two and thwn jump over onto week 3...I'm catching on!!! Sorry I didn't get here yesterday...had to go get my son from his dad's....so spent most of my day in the car, doing laundry and getting him ready for the week!!
Today is DAY 8!!! I really don't want to count days though...I just want to remember the date I decided to make a difference in my life...that's it....days don't mean much anymore (but I'm sure inthe back of my mind, I'll still know...lol)!!!

I can only do a quick fly by, as I'm at work and am up to my eyeballs!!! I will get on later and be a bit more personal....sorry to those who slipped off the ship...that will happen if you run on a slippery surface...always walk carefully!!! You never know when those slippery spots will appear!! Sun is out now...deck is DRY!!! Everyone ABOARD!!!
Have a great day!!!
SD:l

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Srubs, thanks for understanding. I realized that I have been keeping one foot quietly in my drinking world, a ?just in case place?. This is increasingly pointless. My goal is not moderation and it never has been. I hate moderation. It makes me unattractively needy, no longer self contained. Once I get that buzzy feeling, I don?t want one drink or four drinks; I want all my drinks, I want all your drinks, I want them all. Keeping up benign appearances with all of this going on inside is exhausting. :H My social hedging doesn?t buffer me from feeling as bad as I might, it just diminishes me and increases the probability that I am going to drink that first one. If I jump off the social fence at least I shall have a better chance of landing on the right side than if I teeter up there month after month and see which way I fall. I love this ship. Do what our dear SD suggests and walk in the dry spots; it you don't see any don't move until the sun comes out! Love, Ladybird.

[Peanut]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hi gang,
I don't think I've been on this site for close to a week, and i've missed you all terribly. Just very busy and distracted with work and running - had a 10km hash run on saturday night (in the dark) which was super fun! Plus went to a play last night at the newish theatre in town which was absolutely hilarious. Bought the Diviserado book too at McNally, plus another good read called Born to Run. So very busy, but that's no excuse to not send my greetings to you all!!! Bad Peanut!!!

I was doing so well last week, feeling excellent and running and swimming and loving it, and then the darned weekend comes along and phooey - down again!!!! I actually had to take a day off exercise on friday as I was physically pooped and BF came home with wine and beer and all kinds of stuff - so I did what I always seem to do. Pulled out the corkscrew!!!! So I've joined the "oops" club and am working up incentive for the week ahead - I'll need to stick close to you all!!! And as always Lav, your words of wisdom alway hit home with me and set my thinking a bit straighter!

Must keep working, but just wanted to say hi to you all, LBH, Sooty, Dill, Lav, Scrubs, SD (hey, long time, no see!!!), Red, Mamazum, M.Mouse, Tulipe and everyone else who pops in here!
xoxoxo peanut

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Once I get that buzzy feeling, I don?t want one drink or four drinks; I want all my drinks, I want all your drinks, I want them all. Keeping up benign appearances with all of this going on inside is exhausting.

Ditto, LBH. I cannot moderate and I don't even want to.

Red, exercise is a key element for me, too. I try to walk every day when I get home from work and also, at the noon hour for 10-15 minutes.

Sooty, take us to Africa. I need some major distraction!

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

:hChecking in after a pretty good Monday. I have tried to change my signature with help from Dill, so hope it works. I really want to stay AF. and that's it. Reading all of our "oops," I know that it is so pointless to keep on doing the same thing and expecting different results. I did not see one person say that they were happy they drank. I know I wasn't....the drama and rollercoaster are not worth it.

I am going to be very aware of my triggers...hungry, angry, lonely and tired....and take care of myself and love myself. With the holidays coming up, it will be really important to be strong and have all our tools and strategies ready. Plan, plan, plan. That's my motto. So, November Navigators, let's get back on course and to all who have managed to stay AF, thank you. Hope and strength to all.