November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

[dill]

Greetings to all who wish to continue to navigate November AF! Welcome to Week 3! This month is flying by.

I am going to read the end of last week's thread, then come back.

OH! Dear Red! I am so sorry for your bad night. It is such a hard thing to face and accept that we can not drink. We all come to that understanding in our own time and our own way. Please be gentle with yourself today. You are on the right path and we are right here with you.

From the end of week 3: Sooty, I think we are all referring to “the Holidays” to include both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving is takes place on the 4th Thursday of November, which this year falls on November 26th. Since we will all be on this ship together we should be able to manage the November holidays! I surely hope you will join us for our Thanksgiving celebration in the ship’s dining room.

GFO, It was wonderful to hear of you 7 days! I was worried because we hadn’t heard from you. Your enthusiasm and fresh perspective are a breath of fresh air and inspiration! Thank you for your kind words.

Lav, your plan to delegate “bar tending” duties to Mr. Lav. Lucky for me, drinking is not a big deal amongst the family members I am most likely to be with on this holiday. The hardest part will be the Thanksgiving toast with the wine at the table. I will put someone else in charge there. I’ll consider the option of non-al wines as well. Does anyone have experience with those?

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Whew, I messsed up big time. I drank last night, blacked out, and am back at Day 1. The insanity of this whole thing is incredible. I was lonely yesterday, and started planning to drink. All my fine plans went straight out the window.

I am scared, plain and simple. This is what happened to me before. Get some AF time together and then slowly have a drinking day here and there, leading up to excessive wine intake, and all that goes along with it. My side hurts and I realize that means liver damage. I have to stop once and for all. No alcohol, ever. It is just not a possibility for me. I cannot stop once I start. So, I promise that November 15, 2009 is my AF start date. It has to be.

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Red, While I was editing my first post, we cross posted. I added a message to you in my first post along with my other additions. Then, I realized you might not go back to that and see it. So, I am posting this to let you know, we cross-posted, and I responded to you, but it is in my first post on the thread. Sending you strength and hope.

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Dill, thanks so much for your support. I am really down today. My husband is also disgusted with both of us and we again have a pact to NEVER DRINK. We can be good for each other, or we can kill each other. I have thought in the past that if we cannot stop drinking together, as much as I love him, I may need to leave him. I just cannot do this. I am not blaming him, I just need someone who does not drink and does not have it in his vocabulary. I am that frightened. Plus, the hangover feeds depressive thinking. We have quit smoking together in the past, and we can be AF together too. So, anyone, I need support today and will be sticking close to MWO today.

I am so thankful for everyone. I do not need to be alone and can start again. :thanks:

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Red, You are not alone!:l You are not starting over. Your previous AF days are not meaningless. This is, as you said the other day, a process. Aside from the obvious addictive nature of alcohol, there are the deeply entrenched habit patterns that we have built up over the years. We are fighting the battle on two fronts! You are in a depressed frame of mind today. You will feel better and stronger tomorrow. I think you and your husband deciding to do this at the same time is really wonderful. When one is feeling weak, hopefully, the other can be the strong one. Sorry for your disaster last night. But you are not going to let it defeat you. You are stronger than that!

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hey you beautiful Red flower you. You are not alone and you are not starting over, it just feels like that now. I have crashed at some point during each of the last two months and your words could have been my own (in fact I think they were). I know how dreadful the morning after is, the feeling of loss and terror that this might never stop. It can stop, of course, we know this intellectually even though our hearts can be discouraged beyond measure. I can?t yet get beyond the feeling that I will drink again, some time, some place, and I hate it, it feels like being doomed. It also may not be true. We will each have had our last drink one of these days whether we know it at the time or not. We will just have moved quietly (or kicking and screaming) away from it into something else. In the meantime, here we are, on the boat, on the sea. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Morning Navigators!

The sun is out - yay!!
Thanks for leading us into Week 3 Dill - time does fly!

GFO, congrats on 7 AF days - that's terrific You should be proud - keep going!

Sooty, Dill explained the Thanksgiving date to you - the big problem is the non-stop party atmosphere between Thanksgiving and New Years Day. That's a whole lot of partying time, too many opportunities to get into trouble, I think. Keeping the contents of my glass AF over the next 6 weeks will be my #1 priority
I have never tried AF wine, not sure if I want too either. It kind of sounds like a big tease............

Red, so sorry about your day yesterday! Lonliness, boredom & self pity are my major triggers. One thing that has helped me tremendously is practicing gratitude. Incorporating gratitude in your daily life can do wonders. Take a look at this website:
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies
I have a membership myself but you can do a lot of free reading - it's very helful! Be kind to yourself, refocus, you can do this!

Wishing everyone a great Sunday, will be back later!

Lav

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hello LBH,
Cross post!

[scrubbly]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Morning Navigators! No, I have not been away at other threads, I have just been busy busy busy and haven't been on MWO at all over the last several days! Work has been a bear, and between that and some viruses (or is the plural VIRI?) running amok with the toddler and the baby, things have been crazy.

Not crazy enough to drink though....actually for me the trigger was never stress...it was boredom and social anxiety, so when I'm busy, worried, and overloaded I'm actually not in fear that I'm going to reach for the wineglass. Then again, I smashed all my wineglasses in the driveway some time ago (I did a post on that...it was very therapeutic...all those lovely, aesthetically pleasing pieces of stemware that I'd spent years collecting, shattered to bits on the concrete....about 30 of them!)

But I digress....Red, I echo the thoughts of others...this is a slip, not a complete failure...when you feel up to it, I would recommend going over what your mood and activiites were like for the few days leading up to your slip so that you can identify the triggers that led you to it. That will help you build up your arsenal against such things in the future. Take good care of yourself over the next few days hon.

LBH: BRAVO on your battle with the scotch bottle. I can just picture you pouring out the contents of that bottle...and although you cried bitterly, you should know that there was triumph as well as surrender in your tears. You are becoming master of your fate; commander of your destiny...but change in and of itself brings discomfort. We other rocks amongst you in the stone wall are here for your support in the process.

Lode: Sounds like your night out was a great success! Many congrats to you!!!

Dill: Like Lav, I haven't messed with the non-AL wines since going AF for the reason she mentioned, I've been afraid they will be tempting for the real stuff. However, I did try several brands when I was pregnant both times, and found that the BEST stuff by far is a brand called ARIEL - I would recommend them highly.

Well, I got lucky getting on Week 3's thread early, I can give a GENERAL HELLO to all to come from here on out! Hope everyone has a fantastic AF week!

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Checking in again. :thanks: Thanks for all your support, lbh, dill, lavande, scrubbly. It is so wonderful to be able to talk to others who know what it is to have this problem. You are all right, just keep on this journey, look back realistically on the progress made, and understand that it is a constant battle. Getting overconfident or careless is the kiss of death to drinking again.

It is cold and rainy today, matching my mood, and giving me an excuse to curl up on the couch and read a good book, drinking lots of water, and cuddling my kitties. I will make lemonade out of this lemon. :l

[MamaZum]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Joining...may I ?

Hi Lav, Dill, LBH, Scrubbly, Red and all to come!

Here I am again, hungover, mad at AL and myself and disappointed.

i am still struggling, eventhough I can definately see a progress from 6 mo ago, I am still nowhere close to where I want to be. ODAT approach does not work for me. Long term AF commitment does not work either. What wil work??? AARRGGGGG! :upset:

Have a great day all!

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Mamazum, after my episode last night, I know where I am going to have to be. Alcohol free. Period. Nothing else works for me. I did not even think of the holidays, till Thanksgiving was mentioned.

Where do you want to be? Abstinent or moderate? My plan is to have no booze in the house cause that is where I drink too much. Any parties I go to, I will order cranberry juice and seltzer water with lime. I like it and it looks like an alcohol drink.

If you are doing better than six months ago, you are making progress. I was bored and lonely yesterday, a trigger for me. Recognizing my triggers has helped me to resist in the past. Let us know your plan and goals. It will be helpful to all. Strength and hope. (Being hungover stinks).

[MamaZum]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hi Red,

I wanted to thank you for your reply. I re-read this thread and I am sorry that last night did not go well for you. As for your pain on the side, it does NOT have to be your liver complaining, can be 100s different things. If the liver is damaged, it usually manifests with other symptoms (jaundice, tiredness, feeling unwell, etc.) first before pain. I hope you feel better soon!

[lodestar]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Hi everyone,

Been a good day here, but unproductive workwise. I just can't seem to get my head wrapped around intellectual tasks. All I want to do is eat, workout, post, read, cook, and enjoy this feeling of freedom from regular AL abuse. I guess those things were long overdue, so I'm just letting it be today.

Red -- BIG BIG :l to you! I'm sorry you feel crappy today, but as others have said, it is a lesson learned. Depression after drinking has always been an issue for me, even when I was younger. I imagine that is true for many. I hope you are staying close and if you need anything will call out for us.

Oops, I belong to 2 threads and am losing track of who is where...brb!

Mama -- welcome! Hang in there. Wish I had words of advice, but I don't really. I can tell you I was scared to let go of the bottle even for a short time and now week 3 is here. It wasn't nearly as scary as drinking was getting. Progress is progress is progress. You're doing something just by being here. Please stick around!

Scrubbly -- thanks for the congrats on my "happy hour" experience. I'm still laughing about it and it still feels good.

Dill -- hope you're feeling better today!

Lav -- hi there! Holiday plan in order for me too!

LBH -- drinking again is something that scares me big time, but I don't know what the future holds. thank you for sharing your experience over the past 2 months!

Much peace and strength to all of you and all who come along!

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 3

Good evening friends!

Had a very busy but not particularly productive weekend - what's that all about anyway??? Who knows??

Scrubs, I'm smiling remembering when you broke all your wineglasses on the driveway......I don't have any left either - that I know of..... Breaking glasses & pouring the last of the wine down the drain got me kick started as well

Red, Mama Zum, LBH & anyone faltering this weekend - please hang in there, don't give up. We can all beat this beast if we keep trying!! For me, the hardest thing to learn was to just stop beating myself up with wine! It was a true habit that I had to unlearn - very hard but doable! I'd be willing to bet that not one of us would ever consider abusing another person the way we have abused ourselves. We need to start treating ourselves as nicely as we treat others

Lodestar - you're into week 3 now - good for you!! I totally agree that stopping drinking was not nearly as scarey as continuing to drink.

Dill, I trust you had a good weekend! I had lots of Matt time this weekend, did you?

Well, I'm wishing everyone peace & comfort tonight, be well.

Lav