Not the First Day, But Close Enough

[UrbanFool]

Greetings, I've been popping around here the last few days. I had a spectacular breakdown a few years ago and was doing really well until recently. I've gone through long periods of not drinking and now find myself in the unique position of living within walking distance of a store where I can buy booze, so it's been really hit and miss the last month. (Hitting the bottle and missing it, that is.)

I'm having problems with a debilitating depression and anxiety, and I think it's almost worse to know what you have to do (like get out of bed and walk the dog --and cooking dinner would be good,) and just not be able to force yourself to do it. I've been trying to make a dinner menu for the past month.

My husband doesn't drink, and he's just had his knee replaced and has a new job as a paralegal in a law firm while he finishes up his paralegal degree. He's also volunteering fulltime at another law firm, so he's gone a lot which doesn't help. It's kind of been okay until this weekend when all of a sudden he's working all day Saturday (and evidently Sunday, too.)

My little brother is newly out of prison (results of a nasty Meth habit) and is in inpatient rehab although he's at the point where he can start getting dinner and meeting passes. Tonight we're going to an AA meeting and seeing each other for the first time in over 2 years. And believe me, it was UGLY 2 years ago with all of his stealing and lying. Funny how that anger strips away when you're even angrier with yourself. I'm supposed to be the big sister and the good influence. I guess now that I'm 44, I'll let my 34 year old brother hold the rope for a while. I'm tired. And I just don't want to drink anymore.

[Jolie]

Not the First Day, But Close Enough

You are not alone

It seems like everyone here has a different story but the bottom line seems to be that we all want to quit. I recently went 7 days AF out of the past 7 years. That is a major feat for me but I screwed up last night and 3 glasses of wine. Felt bad this morning. I do have to tell you though that for those 7 days I felt so good about myself! I'm starting again and will try to stay away from it. It's so hard - this site is awesome though. So much support. For me, I started playing the piano again. I get bored and think I drink to fill the time.

[Lavande]

Not the First Day, But Close Enough

Hi Kelly & Jolie,

I just want to tell the both of you - never give up trying!!
One of these days, maybe sooner than you think you will find the right path.

Please be sure to arm yourselves with a good plan - one that works just for you! Look in the Tool box (in the Monthly Abstinence section) for good ideas for your plans.
Living near the booze store is tough Kelly. Can you reroute your walking so you don't have to pass by the store? Make a list of activities, things to do, places to go that don't involve AL. Distraction was key for me........keeping my hands & mind occupied was most helpful. The Hypno CDs were also a tremendous help in clearing my mind & learning to relax without AL.

Boredom prevention goes a long way! Fill up your time with healthy activities - there are so many things you can do. Revisit an old hobby, take a walk, do some volunteer work. Get rid of all the AL in your house & commit yourself to not buying more.

These are the things that worked for me & countless others. You can do it too

[redhibiscus]

Not the First Day, But Close Enough

Urbanfool, good luck to you and welcome. This is a great site and the support is awesome. So keep posting and make your plan. Maybe this can be a new beginning for you and your brother and making something beautiful this time around. I hope so and wish you strength and hope. TAke care.