mighty mouse, angelcakes, st paddy, nancy etc
crappy day but AF
Hi MM and all...am having a crap day - trying not to argue with my son's father who can be a selfish pr..k. It's hard when trying to get sober because I feel like I always have to be reticent and compliant, not make waves to make up for all the trouble I have caused in the past. So even though when I KNOW he is being a pr...k I have to try to not show that he has hurt me or make me feel angry otherwise he pulls the old "haven't you caused enough trouble" card or even better, the "you don't have the right to call the shots - at the moment you will just do as you're told until you are well." Well, by whose standards.
When you're an alkie you're everybody's patsy. It sucks. Just did 3 baskets of ironing in 40deg heat to try to distract, so at least that's done. Can't cry or appear angry/distressed as don't want to scare/upset my 6 yr old son, even though I really am finding it hard not to. Keep trying to smile at my little boy and have to keep quickly turning so he doesn't see the tears well when I am trying to appear serene. Can't even just get out of the house for a walk to clear my head as he won't let me in case I go to the pub/bottlo. Suffering.:upset:
Still sober though 5.00pm. Don't know how much longer!
Angry little Chopper xx:upset:
crappy day but AF
Hi MM and all...am having a crap day - trying not to argue with my son's father who can be a selfish pr..k. It's hard when trying to get sober because I feel like I always have to be reticent and compliant, not make waves to make up for all the trouble I have caused in the past. So even though when I KNOW he is being a pr...k I have to try to not show that he has hurt me or make me feel angry otherwise he pulls the old "haven't you caused enough trouble" card or even better, the "you don't have the right to call the shots - at the moment you will just do as you're told until you are well." Well, by whose standards.
When you're an alkie you're everybody's patsy. It sucks. Just did 3 baskets of ironing in 40deg heat to try to distract, so at least that's done. Can't cry or appear angry/distressed as don't want to scare/upset my 6 yr old son, even though I really am finding it hard not to. Keep trying to smile at my little boy and have to keep quickly turning so he doesn't see the tears well when I am trying to appear serene. Can't even just get out of the house for a walk to clear my head as he won't let me in case I go to the pub/bottlo. Suffering.:upset:
Still sober though 5.00pm. Don't know how much longer!
Angry little Chopper xx:upset:
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