Hello, I have been a member off and on for a few years. After a long break I find myself needing to rejoin this group. I was doing well about 2 years ago and a move and a few other things have sent me into a daily drinking habit once again. It never lets go of you.
The move was way harder than I thought it would be and I find myself quite lonely. I also have an autistic son that I worry about quite a bit. I find a bottle or more of wine in the evenings takes the feeling of loneliness and worry away. Of course that is only temporary and the feelings return in the morning, along with guilt, shame, fear for my health.... not to mention the physical toll.
I feel like I have gotten no better in dealing with my feelings without alcohol than I was when I first started trying to figure all of this out years ago. This is despite some therapy, a steady yoga practice and reading just about every self help book there is. I am now starting a consistant meditation practice... just a few days ago. I even bought a meditation cushion this time.
My husband is out of town for the week and is coming home tomorrow nite. I have had 4 AF nights this week. Although I feel good about that, each of those nights has been lonely and long. I want to feel the joy that some of you talk about from being AF. How and when does that happen???? I'm so frustrated. I'm miserable when I'm drinking and I feel pretty much the same when I'm not.
Thanks for listening and thanks for being here to turn to on a long Saturday nite without wine.
The move was way harder than I thought it would be and I find myself quite lonely. I also have an autistic son that I worry about quite a bit. I find a bottle or more of wine in the evenings takes the feeling of loneliness and worry away. Of course that is only temporary and the feelings return in the morning, along with guilt, shame, fear for my health.... not to mention the physical toll.
I feel like I have gotten no better in dealing with my feelings without alcohol than I was when I first started trying to figure all of this out years ago. This is despite some therapy, a steady yoga practice and reading just about every self help book there is. I am now starting a consistant meditation practice... just a few days ago. I even bought a meditation cushion this time.
My husband is out of town for the week and is coming home tomorrow nite. I have had 4 AF nights this week. Although I feel good about that, each of those nights has been lonely and long. I want to feel the joy that some of you talk about from being AF. How and when does that happen???? I'm so frustrated. I'm miserable when I'm drinking and I feel pretty much the same when I'm not.
Thanks for listening and thanks for being here to turn to on a long Saturday nite without wine.
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