November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

[sdlovespackers]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good Morning ALL!!

Had yet another rough night last night....not really understanding whats going on??? It's been almost 3 weeks AF and the last 3 days has been the hardest! I'm thinking maybe because I'm on vacation (no work)...feeling sorry for myself because I was 'suppose to' go to a surprise bday party and passed knowing there would be alcohol...or perhaps because my son has been a little sh*t these past couple days and in the back of my mind I'm thinking why am I trying, when at times he can get so nasty with me (still)...I know, really grown-up thinking, huh?? But I keep getting through each night AF and waking up in the morning thankful I did!!

So nice to see some new faces (to me)...nice to meet you!!!

Dill--I liked what you shared this morning!! Came at the perfect time...I needed that!!! Thank you!!!

Lav, LBH, Sooty, Lil and everyone else....have a SUPER SATURDAY....I better get started getting things done around here!!!! The weekends tend to get away from me and b4 I know it....(((WHAM))) MONDAY!!
SD:l

[girl_from_oz]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good morning Friends!

My absence this week has been due to a virus in my computer inhibiting internet access - thanks Facebook! Wow, lots of posts to get through and huge Congratulations :wd:to you all for getting through Thanksgiving...was wonderful to read about how you each celebrated the day with family and friends and stayed dry, happy, thankful and positive. I've worked with an American for the past 2 years and every Thanksgiving he has a down day. It's his favourite holiday and one that makes him really homesick. He made pumpkin pie for the office last year and it was lovely. I personally was thinking of all of you and sending strength, love and positive thoughts your way.

I have woken up to day 21 AF for me. Had a few touch and go days last week but got through. Have decided work is a big trigger for me and possibly something that set me on the heavy drinking path. Have been in the job for nearly 10 years and it's a very challenging and stressful job. It was always an excuse for myself to have a drink at the end of a long, tough day because I deserved it after a day like that. The last 3 weeks have been wonderful realising that no matter what nasty things work throws at me, I will survive and still wake up alive the next morning without needing to calm myself with a drink or 10 at the end of the day!

Had a BBQ with a bunch of old work friends yesterday and while the wine and beer was flowing all around me, I stuck to my diet coke and water. Had been worried about the day but didn't want to miss out on the catch up. We generally catch up once a year before Christmas and I really enjoy it. So happy I didn't have to deprieve myself and still managed to have a good time without the beer/wine goggles on.

Finally got my supps and Cd's on Thursday so have got right into them. Planning on finishing my 30 days and then giving moderation a trial so will really need those tools to help me out. The 'alone' drinking is not going to be an option for me. I will give myself permission to have a couple drinks in social situations if I feel like it. Not sure if that's going to set me back into my old habits but if it does, I will be straight back on the dry ship.

Lovely, inspiring reading Dill. Have also loved the poetry that's been posted in the past week. I really like the determined theme for December and particularly like the 'determinators'. It is a daily struggle but we all have the determination and drive to beat this. Sorry I haven't written individual messages - was so many post to get through but read them all and thought of you all during the week.

Enjoy the rest of your weekends. I'm off dress shopping for my brothers wedding now...wish me luck!

x

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

SD, I'm so sorry for your streak of 'rough spots'! You hang in there. It will get better! Your boy needs a sober Mommy and you need a sober you.

Soots, I bet you're already in dreamland as I am typing this. I wish you 'good pink dreams'. I see the Alaska shoreline off the starboard bow! Awesome. Hey everybody! Look at that!

http://www.travel.hickerphoto.com/im...a-borealis.jpg

Cyntree, I think I like the sound of the Turkey-Spinach Mushroom crepes. Yummy!

Lav, I think I understand your trepidation about the upcoming holiday. Believe you me, you will be just fine. We can't change the past, but we don't have to keep re-living it either. You have been very, very good this year, and Santa most certainly knows it. You will have a wonderful Christmas, especially with little Matt, you inspiration and motivation.

GFO, it is great to see you! Congrats on 21 days. That is awesome! I still don't know what name I favor for December. It's kind of hard to hold a vote in this kind of forum. There are many good ones now. If I have to decide I think I might have to put them in a hat and draw one out! However, the person who starts the thread Dec. 1st gets the honor of choosing.

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Evening friends,

Thanks for the pic Dill - it's beautiful! Can't wait until we arrive
I think I need to get this year done & behind me before I can take a fresh breath & relax a little. I have been uptight, vigilant & holding my breath for the most part (I'm sure it's not helping my B/P either). I don't want to wish my life away, I just want to move as far away as possible from the misery. My emotional wounds don't heal fast, can't just wish them away either. Think I need to plug in the Clearing CD tonight - it helps when I'm feeling goofy!

GFO, congrats to you on your 21 days, great job! I'll just bet you feel great I can't give you any advice on moderate drinking because I haven't tried. I've assumed, from the beginning, that I can't do it! I don't even want to try at this point. I wish you the very best though!

SD, you may want to revisit the Clearing CD as well. I find it very helpful when I'm feeling confused, angry, just generally funky. My son just turned 29 this week. Now I smile when I see him & tell him that I'm glad I didn't kill him back when I really, really wanted to, ha ha!!! Boys can be so difficult........

Sooty, we have had a mix of rain, wind & peeks of sunshine the past few days. I'm sorry your weather pattern has been stuck for so long. You're due for sunshine & butterflies soon

I need to finish up a few things in the kitchen then call it a day ~ getting tired!
Wishing everyone a good Saturday night.

Lav

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Goodnight from here. Today I did simple chores and also enjoyed participating in Lord Bird Heart?s fun with his new little car, they are still relatively rare here so strangers were smiling/laughing, even waving, as we toodled around. I hope what you have accomplished, Lav, deeply warms you; you are going to live this December with a level gaze, a steady heart, and a quiet elegance. Trust you will feel better soon, SD, I know what it is like to just mark time until lights out on some of these evenings; tonight I am pleased/grateful that I did not drink but I can?t say I did more than just get through it. I am glad we are here. It?s great to hear from you GFO, the MYO CDs have helped me very much. Hi, Dill, thank you for the quote, a tolerant, openness was something I made an effort to return to today whenever I found myself getting irritated or unsettled by one thing or another. Even when I can?t stay there it is a good base to touch. Hi there Lil, Sooty, Pea, Cyn and anybody coming through. A cold front is moving in here so I shall look for something warm to think about. Love, Ladybird.

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good morning, hey, I don't mean to be a downer, but I have not reached my AF goals over this holiday time. I was so down about it that I did not post. Luckily, dill was kind enough to pm me and I thought that I could come back. On Wednesday I had two glasses of wine. Thanksgiving stayed AF and had a wonderful day. Friday, went shopping and stopped for a martini after successful shop. I guess I moderated successfully, but the problem is I do not want to moderate, I want to be AF.

Even a drink or two messes up my mood, my cravings for food, and just is not what I want to do. Plus, after reading everyone's successful AF holidays, I do not want to discourage this great group of people who are gaining more and more AF time.

I noticed that getting out of my routine is killer for me.....first vacation in early NOvember, then the holidays. Work has been a stressor, but I have not had a drink because of it. So there it is.

I really want December to be better. Work Christmas party for me is AF. For my husband's I am not so sure. So as now I will continue to be AF. I guess on the bright side I did not get close to getting drunk. I noticed the immediate effect of a drink and was so careful to stop right away. This time. The issue is that I cannot always guarantee that I will do that....and that is the reason for wanting to be, needing to be AF. Comments are appreciated. Thanks.

[lilmea]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Hello everyone,

Red-Stepping out of my routine always is unsettling for me. But the more I do it and stay af the easier it gets. I also know I could mod my drinking for a little while but not for long. When I had 41/2 months af, I decided if I wanted to have a drink at HB's retirement party, it would be okay. Just the one toast. I went to the party and didn't drink. But I did have a bad relapse a month later and was gone for 2 weeks. Once I open the door to the possibility of even 1 drink, I am lost.

Sheri-Do you mind if I ask what time zone you are in? I am an early bird so I figure you must either be across the big pond somewhere or a night owl out west.

I'm really looking forward to getting through the holidays AF so that I can finally BELIEVE in myself again.........

Lav-I guess that's why I keep reminding myself how bad things were a year ago this time. I will be so glad when I have made it past all the 'events' and yet I'm excited to enjoy the holidays af. Not just for me but for my daughters. I never want them to see me drunk again. How did the Bday party go for your little man?

Cyn-Not sure about Turkey Ravioli? I may just stick to Turkey sandwiches.

SD-Sorry about your rough days. It could be a combination of all you mentioned. Or it could just be that 1 month rough patch some people have. I had it around 28 days. Just hold on and ride it out! You can do it!

Hello to Dill, Sooty, GFO, Finding and all my other shipmates to follow.

Speaking of company parties. HB has been invited to his company party even though he has retired. Last year I was too drunk to go. This year I've decided I'm too sober to go. HB is supportive of this decision which does make it easier for me.

Wishing everyone a great AS day.

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Ahoy, Navies!

Well, we're here and we're still posting, so I guess that's a good thing! So glad you've not abandoned ship, Red!

Lil, I like how you keep reminding me to think of where I was this time last year. I haven't made the progress that I had hoped for by this time, but I can mark great progress in looking back. One small, but tangible thing: Last year at this time I was marking my calendar with a star if I made it through the day AF. I have very, very few stars on my November 08 calendar. Three to be precise. This year it is less effort to mark the calendar only if I drink, because AF is the norm. I have many, many, many days with NO MARK! (Of course, you all well know I've relapsed a time or two.)

SD, I had a struggle last night, and to be honest, LBH summed it up the best:

SD, I know what it is like to just mark time until lights out on some of these evenings; tonight I am pleased/grateful that I did not drink but I can’t say I did more than just get through it.

What keeps me going is basically three things:
1. I want it.
2. I believe it will become easier and better with time.
3. You friends.:h

I'm going on too long!

Greetings and strength to all who stop in.

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good morning Dill & Everyone!

Wow, the sun is out - nice

I took the time to listen to the clearing CD last night, popped 3 Benadryl tablets & slept well. I think my mood has been wavering because I haven't slept well for some unknown reason the past week. A little too much worrying is the likely culprit.

I'm all set for today's BD party, I'll let you know how it went!

Red, sorry you wandered from your goal but glad you came right back! All I can tell you is that I've remained AF because giving myself permission to have just one drink is Not an Option! I know I would never be happy with just one.........I'm not playing that game

Sheri, good to have you with us! Sounds like you have good plans in place for your Holiday parties. Since you're in charge of your office party - make it non-alcoholic, tell them you never thought of bringing AL :H

OK, ready for the day. Have a good one everyone!

Lav

[mighty mouse]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good Morning, Sherri, Red, Dill,Lil and Lav, Back on the boat. Had a busy holiday weekend. Not completely AF but not very much either so am feeling pretty good. Thanks to MWO and all of your names playing in my head and remembering all the great advice.
So lets finish up novemeber and on to december. That is most likely the toughest month for everyone.
DECEMBER DETERMINATORS
DRIVING DECEMBER
DECEMBER TO REMEMBER
REMEMBER DECEMBER
DECEMBER DELIVERIES,,,what af days have delivered to us.

Have a great Sunday, MM

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Greetings troops. So good to see you, Red. I completely understand how just a successful moderate drink or two can change things, put things off kilter, confuse or depress our spirits, whatever we want to call it. I actually got very gloomy and felt an inevitable tipping point was just around the corner. This, of course, was due to the fact that it is around the corner for me at least. Feeling bad when I moderated with overt immunity was a good sign to me that I was doing something against my best interests at this stage in my life, against my deepest nature. Otherwise I would head on over to a moderating thread and practice it properly rather than hang out here with all of you.:H Don?t be afraid to post when things are hard as they resonate for us all at one time or another, (Dill had to haul me back also?bless you Dill!!!!). It's really good to have you here, Sheri, I have noticed repeatedly that you make a lot of sense! You are kind and smart and your Setters are joyous. Welcome back MM! Love, Ladybird.

[sooty]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Hello everyone, its so great to see you all. Well it was my daughter's proper birthday celebration today, a meal out with friends, husband driving - you guessed it I caved and had a couple of glasses of wine.
Not too worried about it though cos as long as it stops there I'm happy. Tomorrow will be the big test cos I often think "well I've blown it so I might as well continue...." but I'm really hoping that my mindset has changed and tomorrow will be AF.
I love the idea of Determined December or December Determinators for our name for next month - cos I imagine the Christmas holiday will require a lot of determination from us all.
Have a great Sunday all of you, see you tomorrow
Sooty

[Peanut]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Hi gang- just quickly catching up on all the goings-on on this thread. You all sound wonderful. I am looking forward to a much better December, as my November wasn't as successful as I had hoped, but have done mostly ok going AF, but not perfect. I have been running so much lately, and today I set an almost 6 mile hash running trail, then had to run out and run it again - I am pooped and chilled to the bone. I shan't go to the bar though, even though it is Grey Cup today (Saskatchewan Rough Riders are one of the contenders, but I am not a football fan at all!). My son is very sick, and I think he's got H1N1 - not completely sure, but he has been not well for the past couple of days, and I went to see him this morning before heading out, and he and his bed were drenched in sweat and he had vomited earlier and I am very worried about the little (18yo) dude!!
So I'll keep checking in with you all and look forward to a great December (I was AF at our Christmas party last year for work and it was fine and I will do that again this year!)
Love you all!!
xoxoxo peanut

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good evening everyone,

Hope you all had a great day!
Our family birthday party went well, a good time had by all! Mt grandson absolutely loved his cake

MM, glad you came through the weekend OK. The next 4 weeks will be challenging for all of us. I going to take the easy way out & remain AF!

Sheri, I used to live just outside Philly myself. Moved south near the MD border 6 years years ago.........farm country. Love it here & I'm raising chickens too!
Sorry to hear about your trouble with the scammers/hijackers. I do so much online shopping because of my location - there are no stores nearby :upset:

LBH, you did well this holiday weekend, I'm happy for you. I'm considering this practice for Christmas.........I'm looking forward to getting the entire Christmas season behind us :H

Sooty, glad you enjoyed your time with your daughter for her birthday. Stepping into moderation land is no sin. Tomorrow is another day & time to refocus!

I'm putting my feet up for a bit - time to relax!!
Have a good evening one & all!

Lav

[sdlovespackers]

November Navigators ~ AF Week Four

Good Evening ALL!

I just wanted to stop in and tell everyone good night!! Tonight was so much easier...I really think it has something to do with knowing I'm going back to work tomorrow (this past long weekend was just hard)...I need routine and schedules!!! My son is sick tonight so I have to run....not sure if I'll make it into work tomorrow but will check in here regardless! Thank you ALL for the wonderful words of encouragement!!!!! Tonight was much calmer for both my son and I (hopefully that's not just because he has a 102.3 temp) LOL!!
Take care everyone!!
SD:l