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**planetjanet** · November 25, 2009, 01:01 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

:welcome: Mr. V

Thank you for sharing your story and I too, felt that AA was just not for me and I am really glad to have found this site, no judgment here. I can understand about the health issues and the only I can suggest you can til you see the doctor is try to not drink, drink lots of water, milk thistle supplement and most importantly figure out what exactly you want regarding your issue with drinking. If you decide that you are ready to take the steps to quit drinking the people here will give you such great support. Bare in mind that it will be tough in the beginning but once you have a few AF (alcohol free) days, you will start to feel "content and happiness" and no more waking up feeling "sick and tired". Make sense?

Anywho, best of luck and no matter what keep us posted of your progress. Have a great Thanksgiving.

Lots of hugs,
Janet

**Closer To Free** · November 25, 2009, 01:36 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Thank you Janet for the quick reply!!

I have been taking milk thistle for quite a few years, foolishy thinking that this would prolong my liver life.......but I know better. I don't drink enough water because I prefer diet Pepsi at work. I hope that between the good people on this web site and my father, I can control this disease. I'm going to be so embarrased when I go out and see my parents over Thanksgiving but I'll have to deal with it then. I wish that I can moderate but I don't think that it's an option. I'll give more details about my story in the near future. I'm kind of a shy guy but it will be easier on the internet vs. AA meetings.

And yes, I have felt that "content and happiness" feeling along with the not feeling "sick and tired" and it was good. I'm not sure why I don't want that feeling now...Stupid!!

**AnyaPrincess** · November 25, 2009, 02:12 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

MrVodka;764031 wrote: Hello All-

This is my first post and I've been "lurking" around this site for almost 2 years. I wish that I controlled this disease back then. There are so many amazing people here! I ordered the book some time ago and got through half of it but between a few moves I have no idea where it is. While I thought that I might have a problem, I never thought that it could get to this point. I've always been that party person that everyone just thought drank a lot, had fun, but now my body is not feeling very good. I have a dr. appt scheduled in a few weeks and I'm afraid of what he'll tell me. For the past 4-5 years I've pretty much have drank a fifth of vodka (or more) per day....maybe take a day or two off per week. Pretty F$%^#ing scary!! I've been to a few AA meetings but I HATE them!! I came clean with my parents about a year ago. My father is an alcoholic, sober for 30+ years, and my mom's dad was also an alcoholic but I never bought into that gene thing......now I have!!! Unfortunately, I am drinking tonight and will probably go out tomorrow (tradition).

This is not a "whoa is me story" because I know what I'm doing to myself so if anyone has any advice or similar stories to provide to overcome this, it would be appreciated.

Anyways, sorry to ramble on and I'll post more of my story later. I'll be at the p's for a few days but I'll try and check in. Thanks for reading.

Mr V.

Hey Mr V.

My heart goes out to you. I think I understand where you're coming from on this one. I've been drinking at least one bottle of wine per day for about the past five years and just recently I've begun to get frightened about what it's doing to my body. Why I haven't gotten to this point a lot earlier, I do not know... but thank God I finally got there. And thank God you've gotten there too.

I bit the bullet and went to the doc last week... no liver damage, no detectable heart damage, everything seems to be okay. I don't deserve my health but it seems that I'm getting another chance!

I urge you: get the book, the tapes, the topimax, the supplements and do it all! Be faithful to it. THEY MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE! I never thought I'd get to this point, but I now have 8 days AF and the one day that I poured myself a glass of wine I really didn't want it. I cannot believe it, but it's true.

I am such a slug and a poor eater. Suddenly I'm watching my fat intake, eating salads and I took the dog for a walk today. I think he nearly had a heart attack as he's my husband's dog and I've never taken him for a walk before. LOL It's gotta be the CDs that are changing my thought patterns. What else would it be?

I wish you all the very best, Mr. V, I truly do.

Annie

**Closer To Free** · November 25, 2009, 02:54 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Annie-

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! That's awesome about the 8 days AF!! I can only hope to achieve that soon. That's awesome about pouring the glass of wine and not wanting it. I hopefully will take your advice about the CDs and supplements because I am also a "slug and a poor eater" so maybe those things will help me. I will also try and find the book or purchase a new one.

Mr. V

**Tulipe** · November 25, 2009, 02:58 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Hi V.
You've taken a good early step, and welcome. Keep reading. One suggestion - watch Rain in my Heart - link in general discussion, if you haven't already watched it. Will definitely show the ugly side of AL abuse. Have you thought about a plan?

**Closer To Free** · November 25, 2009, 03:18 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Tulipe-

Thank you so much for the welcome and the info. I will take a look at that post and hopefully it will scare me somewhat! I don't have a real plan as of yet but I'm pretty sure that I need to abstain.

V

**JackieClaire** · November 25, 2009, 03:38 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

:colorwelcome:

Hi Mr Vodka,

You've already been given loads of excellent advice so I just wanted to say hello.

Stay close,read and read the posts and please let us know how your getting on.

I really must read up on the genetic thing, my dad was an alcoholic so was his mum.

All the luck in the world to you.

Love Jackie x

**Closer To Free** · November 25, 2009, 03:56 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Thanks Jackie for the welcome!! Let me know if you find out anything more about that genetic thing.

Tulipe- I did watch that video and it's pretty scary!

**mario** · November 25, 2009, 04:21 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

just like to say hi & welcome to mwo, mr vodka.read as many as the posts/threads as you can and you will see that you are not alone.You have taken the first step in comming here and you will get great support & advice within this community. goodluck mr vodka hope you stick around

**JackieClaire** · November 25, 2009, 04:31 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

me again Mr V,

I'll let you know,but the vast research into this might take some time.

J x

**mario** · November 25, 2009, 04:38 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

hi jc,
mr vodka there is a research thread here, maybe that can help as i no there in divided opinions in the medical world whether alcohol is a disease.

**redhibiscus** · November 25, 2009, 05:03 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Hey Mr.V,
To me it doesn't matter if alcoholism is a disease, it is messing up my life in every area: physically, emotionally, spiritually, my relationships, my work, every life area. I don't get hung up on the verbiage, alcoholic, addict, whatever. I hate those words and feel bad enough about myself. It runs in families, that is for sure, I am at least third generation, and my kids have already experienced some issues, and could be the fourth generation if they are not careful.

Sounds like you are getting sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Scared about your physical health and beginning to talk to others about your concerns. That is great. This is a journey, and you are just at the start. Get all the information you can, and make a plan. If you are not 100% successful, just keep trying. Sometimes it takes time to get this AF life straight. Look at the Monthly Abstinence forum, and there is a thread called Tool Box that is really helpful to many. Wishing you strength and hope.

**Closer To Free** · November 25, 2009, 07:25 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Just waking up and wanted to say thank you for all of the support and words of encouragement. I'll be going to work soon so I don't know if I'll be able to post much during the day but I'll try. Thanks to everyone for listening and responding. Hopefully after tonight I can tackle this problem a little better.

Red-You bring up a good point about whether it's a disease or not. It's bringing me down any way you look at it.

Mario, Jackie- Thanks for the input regarding the disease part of it.

Mr V.

**Cindi** · November 25, 2009, 10:21 AM

Do Or Die (I Think)

Yes, don't dwell too much on the genetic aspect of this-I am having a hard time dealing with all the anger I have towards my Parents-I told my b/f yesterday I truly hate my Mother-She was/is probaly one of the worst alcoholics you could ever meet and still lies and is denial about this (Dad had a massive Heart Attack 2 years ago at 59 probaly drug and alchohol related))...We have a Family that hears no evil, speaks no evil..you know- That's why several people in my family have commited suicide..At the end of the day though-I wake up with myself.

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