Is this Day 1 for Anybody?

[Nancy68]

Is this Day 1 for Anybody?

It is day one again for me!!! Went to an AA meeting at noon, and took another enveloppe. It is soooo hard, I don't love myself enough I guess. I could of killed someone on the weekend and took my car!! now it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg to have it repaired today plus had to miss work... because I had no car. I'm starting to think that the kids would be better off at their dad's.. until I get a grip on my life.. and my health.. mental or otherwise. I hate what I've become, cause I know I am better than that. But when the loneliness its.. I drown my pain... the intense suffering I've been dragging for years and which now seems is oozing.. out at an incredible pace!! :upset:

[06F150STX]

Is this Day 1 for Anybody?

It's not day one for me either. But I think that I'm doing better. Instead of a 12 pack everyday, I think 4-6 is better. At the moment, I have had only 3 for today. It's really hard on me because of what/who I'm around everyday. But one day, it's going to get better. I'm doing this, not just for me, but for my wife and my two kids. I think the more I stick around this site, is helping me. I would just like to be here to give my word of how I'm killing the habit if I can. I know I can. It just takes time for me. I'm glad I found this site. I believe its going to help out.

[06F150STX]

Is this Day 1 for Anybody?

Nancy68;771443 wrote: It is day one again for me!!! Went to an AA meeting at noon, and took another enveloppe. It is soooo hard, I don't love myself enough I guess. I could of killed someone on the weekend and took my car!! now it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg to have it repaired today plus had to miss work... because I had no car. I'm starting to think that the kids would be better off at their dad's.. until I get a grip on my life.. and my health.. mental or otherwise. I hate what I've become, cause I know I am better than that. But when the loneliness its.. I drown my pain... the intense suffering I've been dragging for years and which now seems is oozing.. out at an incredible pace!! :upset:

Don't give up on yourself. We all can help.

[agapanthus]

Is this Day 1 for Anybody?

Day 1 again for me...I have been trying to mod but always end up overdoing it at some point. I need to be AF at least some of the time. I like to think I can learn to mod...I feel differently about it now - about self-medicating. I don't want to do that anymore.