Hi all-
I am back after a dramatic few days which included a major low point. I had a serious row with my significant other and thought I'd be better off without him. Part of the reason is because over the summer, when I asked him if we could have an AF house, he flipped out after 12 days and said if I had a problem then he was out the door. Well I told him finally that YES I DO HAVE A PROBLEM and he MUST know how bad it is after living with me for over a year. If my health does not matter to him then I am the one leaving. Oh boy, he has changed his tune and is ready to support me. I don't have to feel so ashamed anymore and try to hide it. No waking up hung over and sneaking a beer because its THERE and its a NEED rather than a WANT at this point. And I just can't, I just cant resist it when its staring me in the face. Not in the early stages anyway. It has been a daily part of our lives but I am the one who goes completely out of control once every few weeks. I have lost entire weekends. I have done and said things I am not proud of. I have left work in tears, suffering a breakdown because I CANNOT handle it. My Dad is in the same boat only advanced 30 years and I CANT end up like that. My life is ahead of me. I have a bright future. Finally I can come home to an AF house and I actually have a chance. I am going to do the absolute best I can. I am riding out the withdrawls and waiting for my body to recover. I wanted to share and seek out my old buddies. I am back because whether I threw him out or got him to change his tune-- I had to get this chance for myself!! LOVE to all that have supported me since I joined in February. And if you are new... Welcome and you CAN DO IT!!!!
Sincerely,
I am back after a dramatic few days which included a major low point. I had a serious row with my significant other and thought I'd be better off without him. Part of the reason is because over the summer, when I asked him if we could have an AF house, he flipped out after 12 days and said if I had a problem then he was out the door. Well I told him finally that YES I DO HAVE A PROBLEM and he MUST know how bad it is after living with me for over a year. If my health does not matter to him then I am the one leaving. Oh boy, he has changed his tune and is ready to support me. I don't have to feel so ashamed anymore and try to hide it. No waking up hung over and sneaking a beer because its THERE and its a NEED rather than a WANT at this point. And I just can't, I just cant resist it when its staring me in the face. Not in the early stages anyway. It has been a daily part of our lives but I am the one who goes completely out of control once every few weeks. I have lost entire weekends. I have done and said things I am not proud of. I have left work in tears, suffering a breakdown because I CANNOT handle it. My Dad is in the same boat only advanced 30 years and I CANT end up like that. My life is ahead of me. I have a bright future. Finally I can come home to an AF house and I actually have a chance. I am going to do the absolute best I can. I am riding out the withdrawls and waiting for my body to recover. I wanted to share and seek out my old buddies. I am back because whether I threw him out or got him to change his tune-- I had to get this chance for myself!! LOVE to all that have supported me since I joined in February. And if you are new... Welcome and you CAN DO IT!!!!
Sincerely,
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