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IS Confession good for the soul..?

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    #1

    IS Confession good for the soul..?

    I often put my mood as "learning". Guess I should really keep it like that Permanently... (just changed it!)

    So, I've been all upbeat the last week or so being AF.

    And reading some people's posts, I think, well, I'm not THAT bad! I've admitted I have a problem, but I'm not (really?) That bad...

    BUT, I had ONE beer a couple nights ago. Only bought one. Felt fine.

    Bought a pint the next day (yesterday). Bought another one today.

    Soooo, YES, I AM that bad!! Sure, I can go a month, a week AF here & there, but the bottom line is: I CAN'T DRINK - Period.

    I "seemed" satisfied with that one beer (and I don't usu. drink beer)... but, obviously, it was enough alcohol to Trigger urges. It appears that AL is a Trigger! (DUH)

    As I have said on many occasions, I "can't" say I "can't" drink EVER. Just too final. Yet, I now see... it appears that I CAN'T drink.. EVER!!

    This is a very sad admission.

    And, no, I Won't throw pint away.

    BUT... I will not buy more. (Is it Possible to say that??)

    Thing is, this is a kind of epiphany for me. Knowing that Just ONE drink will set me off. Maybe not immediately... but.

    This is, indeed, sad.

    But - looking on the bright side... IF I've really learned this lesson... It could be great.

    I could live the rest of my life actually experiencing it.

    Signed,

    Ashamed... but Learning. Or maybe I should say: MOD doesn't cut it!
    Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin
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    #2
    IS Confession good for the soul..?

    Savvy,

    Coming to the realization that you can't drink....ever is not a sad thing but a very wise thing!!!
    You have been here learning for nearly 2 years, you have tried modding & found it doesn't work for you!
    Be happy that you have had your epiphany! Own it! Use it to remake yourself into the new & improved person you can be.

    I've been living AF for 8+ months now - you can do it too You will love living hangover & guilt free, honestly. I haven't felt this free in a very, very long time.

    No need to feel ashamed - that's useless! Move on & use everything you've learned to make yourself better, the person you want to be

    Best wishes!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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      #3
      IS Confession good for the soul..?

      Savon, you need to not beat yourself up so badly. I keep learning this lesson over and over again. (Hopefully it stuck this time.)
      Kelly

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        #4
        IS Confession good for the soul..?

        Brilliant Savvy, just brilliant. Go for it!
        Scary? Yep. Exciting? Feck yeah!
        Get ready for the ride of your life, with all it's glorious, and endless possibilities. Bravo, my friend!
        Now, when does this new life begin? With this realisation, it sounds like you have begun already!

        Best wishes friend, G-Force.

        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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          #5
          IS Confession good for the soul..?

          Thanks to all for your wise words. And encouragement!

          But I think I was especially struck by Sheri's post... I DO have to stop looking at it as a Sad thing! That absolutely will set me up for feeling "deprived" - and we know where that leads.

          It's so true that the way we think about things is paramount. And I always like the word, Choice. Any of us can drink when we want, but we can also Choose not to!
          Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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            #6
            IS Confession good for the soul..?

            It's only been just recently I think that I've really clued in to how bad my problem really is, I've spent much of the year debating it inside myself. But I think back to where I was this time last year, and I am horrified (I was put in hospital for several weeks, that just doesn't happen to a normal person without a problem does it?) I haven't suffered all the consequences that others have because of my drinking, but there was room for it to happen if I didn't stop. I don't know how helpful it is really to compare ourselves to other people's cases though. It is how drinking is affecting us that it comes down to, I'm just starting to come to terms with that and accept it, which saves a lot of energy which I can better use for recovery. I think that the self-realisation also helps keep me overall in balance.

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              #7
              IS Confession good for the soul..?

              Savon19.........After what happening to Tiger Woods this past week......I don't think it was too good for his soul or his pocket book ! ha! IAD ( Just pondering ).
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

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                #8
                IS Confession good for the soul..?

                IAD - I really thought Tiger was a pretty smart guy. Now, not so much! I mean... TEXTING, leaving voicemails, emailing??! OH MY.

                Maybe he wanted to get caught...

                However, the woman who released the voicemail, etc. (for BIG bucks, no doubt) is really scummy, imho.

                (And I don't think he really wanted to confess anything - he was backed up against the wall!)
                Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

                Comment

                  #9
                  IS Confession good for the soul..?

                  That whole thing just pisses me off. It's none of anyone's business whether or not Tiger can keep his zipper up.
                  Kelly

                  Comment

                    #10
                    IS Confession good for the soul..?

                    Going back to the original title of this thread; Is confession good for the soul.
                    I think , telling someone,(even if it is yourself)that you are struggling with cravings,and then having accountability for what you have confessed to having done, or not done, does help.
                    If you are so fortunate to have someone near to the heart that you are able to tell, all the better. If you don't the forums here on MWO are awesome. I try and follow through on certain threads when I get the time, otherwise it does become a little overwhelming,

                    I relate to the fixation we (the confessed drinkers) can have about a "sad feeling". Almost obsessed with the thoughts of having to choose not to have a drink or not to have more then one drink for sure.
                    The feeling that it is "not fair" that we (the confessed drinker) see other enjoying and using
                    alcohol all around us but we can't seem to be able to just enjoy a drink here or a drink there.

                    It is such an acceptable drug, it seems that it is part of the homo sapian way; it is at sport events, in social setting, like bars, pubs,restaurants, in stores, in the movies, on TV. It is so often protrayed as a happy thing to be doing with your life. We feel woe is me(the confessed drinker) that I must choose not to have a drink.
                    The catch 22 of it seems so crazy. We have confessed that we don't want to go where alcohol takes us, yet we still we are dissappointment that we can't have the drinks. This is the point I am at anyways.

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