December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good morning Dill & everyone,

Dill, the next time you hear the cravy voices - send them directly to me! My Lavan-itude voice is bigger & stronger, wins every time AL is powerful & sneaky but with the right back-up you can be the winner!! The tree is up but not quite decorated. We bought the dreaded artificial tree last year. Didn't want to do it but the allergies won out. I always loved going out & choosing a tree from the tree farm & having it cut fresh for us but it killed me - allergy wise. This tree does look nice though

Well, it's raining but I won't complain - could have been ice & snow. I'll use the inside time to get some things done

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Sunday. I'll be back later.
Lav

[Davie Souter]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hi All,
Chilly, bright and beautiful day today - feels good to be able to appreciate it.
Did light session in the gym - eondorphins flying about = great.

Hope everyone is doing and feeling good.

DS

[sooty]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hello each and every one of you. Another bright, cold crisp day so myself, Mr S and No.2 daughter went for a long walk. Still muddy underfoot but it was so good to be out in the fresh air, cliffs and beach absolutely deserted! Just how I like it!!
Dill I don't make bread very often. Mr S (aka Sweep) has a breadmaker so he makes it as we need it, but my friend told me about spelt this summer and I gave it a go and must say I was very pleased!
Well I've got loads to do - first thing is to get cards written and posted so that's my task for the afternoon.
I hope we all have a relaxing, stressfree Sunday
Sooty

[mighty mouse]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hello to all Determinators, I'm confessing. Since I sarted MWO a month and a half ago I have made great strides.. However I still have never gotten through a full weekend. I like who I am AF and want to give myself more of it. Like alot of you are saying..it is a habit. Not truely a physical thing with me but a Giant bad habit, then I tell myself, oh I'm not really that bad...fast forward....it sure makes me feel bad.
Hope I havn't dampend anyone elses determination. Have a great Sunday MM

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Mighty, You have not dampened anyone's determination! We are all in this together, but alas, alone at the same time. We are each responsible for our own paths. What we gain from each other in support and encouragement is invaluable but the buck stops with the person you see in your mirror.

LBH, I forgot to thank you for your comment re: my question yesterday about remembering ourselves before alcohol. I have rambled back many a year to find that person. Some memories are not clear, but are more like a feeling of a time...Does that make sense? I don't recall a single event, but more like a general "how it used to be". I remember back in the 80's when I used to watch those wonderful television shows in the evening, sober and without even a thought of drink. (St. Elsewhere, Hill Street Blues, Designing Women, Night Court, Moonlighting, Newhart...) When did I lose that person? Can't I reach back in time and bring that person forward to today? Well, I guess I can if I keep trying.

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hello all! I'm sending you all a big bouquet of love this morning, and I have enough leisure to do a 'real' post and add an icon!:h

Sounds like we are all riding the roller coaster of moving past our past and claiming the future. I was relieved to have a good night last night - at a fancy party, but was able to stay 'in my skin' and be myself, and not think that I had to somehow be more than who and what I am. Maybe that was the thing that made me feel so free, but somehow losing that anxiety freed me from wanting to escape into alcohol. Who knows if it will ever work that way again, but I have to say that I did not even notice all the wine flowing for everyone else....

Pnut - sending you special energy - sounds like you are trying to take care of yourself, and now you have to be the 'she-bear' for other family as well. I don't envy you your situation - but I sense that you have the strength to rise above all this and turn it around. You go girl!

Sooty - thanks for the Spelt recipe, I haven't baked bread in years, but I think I might give this a try. Oh, your description of the beach and the cliffs!! To an unhappy desert dweller it was magical - I wanted to click my heels and be right there.

Dill - OMG, Hill Street Blues!...yep, life was much simpler and contented before alcohol...grant us the strength to reclaim that.

Davie - my heart went out to you in your description of not going to the pub to be with your friends. It's all so tricky, these changes, especially when chumming is part of the picture...but I agree with all who posted saying that these are bumps that will get sorted out in time. Bravo to you for staying the course - your friends will see the new you, and embrace you, and maybe it's just the change that will help them in some way as well. You never know when you are being the catalyst...

Sheri - great description of a fun holiday party - congrats!

Greetings to anyone that I missed - sorry for the long post, but my heart seems to be overflowing this morning, and I have the time to say so. Stay strong, everyone!

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

We found our Christmas tree today in spite of the non-stop drizzle! It is a lovely dark green Scotch Pine. We also bought a small Blue Spruce live tree to put out on the front porch. It is adorned with lights and is a very welcoming sight!

Lav, thank you for your words of encouragement. Much needed and appreciated.

I hope all had a lovely Sunday. To Sooty of the Cliffs, Cyntree of the desert, and all others, Bon Reve Rose....

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hi all. Don’t despair Dill and MM, we wouldn’t put together a thread like this if it was a done deal. As I look back on my time with MWO, on many days I have struggled through with great effort (and I really get tired of having to do this over and over) while on others I tipped/caved/crashed without a second conscious thought. This group has encouraged me to backtrack, analyze my experience dispassionately, and bring what happened into the light. Right now I am taking Dill's suggestion about remembering times before addiction and for me it is all the way back to graduate school in the seventies when my life was one of far more curiosity, adventure, discovery, risk, movement, and being self contained but wide awake and in the world, far more comfortable in my skin and with my thoughts than I am now. Drinking the way we do is so isolating and stifling; it briefly soothes or diverts or energizes but it prevents fully participating, we live in a bell jar, we breath our own air. So tonight I am not going to do it. I am going to think of Dill and her trees, Sooty and her cliffs, Lav and her bones. Love, Ladybird.

[redhibiscus]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hey everyone....

Dill, know how you feel about the cravy feelings....it is good to just start AF again. That is probably the difference from our pasts, we know what to do and we don't carry on the drinking day after day. We have more and more AF days than ever. And, we don't drink as much as in the past. Progress, not perfection, yet. :lYour ideas for Christmas Eve food sounded good.

LBH, I liked the smoked fish idea for a menu, with snacky things so people can just eat and hang out. I am getting excited for Christmas and having family come to stay and time off work. Whohee!!! A time before I thought of alcohol would have to be before I was 14 or 15 years old. That is when I started to drink and it became a focus of fun for me. That has been an awfully long time. :upset:I remember just being happy on a beautiful day, summer or winter, swimming or ice skating, riding bikes, usually doing something physical outside with friends or siblings. I remember the smells of summer, cooking with my grandmother, going to church, singing around the piano...all fun things that gave me a natural high.

Davy, it is hard to associate with drinking friends if you are not drinking. I wish it was easy, but I find it really hard myself. I am happy for you that you stayed home AF. I had a recent drinking night and really paid for it, physically and emotionally. IT was so not worth it.

Peanut, it sounds like a challenging situation at your house....and it would be really hard not to drink with someone who is such a big partier. Is it just getting out of control cause of the holidays or is it like that alot? Good luck on getting it handled before your daughters come. I know I am concerned that there will be booze around, or my kids, who are in their 20s, will want to drink while they are here. I would rather not have booze in the same vincinity as I am.

Have a good evening and sending everyone positive thoughts and wishes, AF.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Evening Dec. friends,

I'm with you Red, I'm much more relaxed when there is no booze in my general vicinity!!!!! If life was only that easy.........

Dill, you made me think of the nights I threw myself in front of the TV & glued myself there to watch Dallas & Falcon Crest. I loved those shows......never drank back then.... I don't know about the rest of you but I really believe that life (and all the anxiety & resulting depression it creates) turned me into a drinker. It was a simple, relatively inexpensive way to blow off all the BS.....job, kids, husband, family, dogs, neighbors, etc. It's a damn shame I didn't choose something healthier like yoga or meditation. No one ever plans to become a problem drinker, right?

Lets all hold hands & face forward, OK?
I still go on Quit Net every day & pledge I won't smoke for the day. Starting tomorrow we should all come here & pledge we won't drink for the day - how about that???????

Wishing everyone a peaceful, AF night!

Lav

[Hartley]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Lavande;774544 wrote: Evening Dec. friends,

It's a damn shame I didn't choose something healthier like yoga or meditation.

I don't know Lav....I've met some yoga nazis that would give even the worst drunks a run for their money in the obnoxious stakes!

Stay safe and stone-cold.

[redhibiscus]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good morning all..I pledge for today to be AF. How's that Lavande. It might be just the thing. I hear again that everyone loves being AF, yet the allure of alcohol and the promise it gives, or we think it will give, is what we give in to. I hate alcohol and everyithing it has done to me over the years. Today I will be AF and that's it.

[Davie Souter]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hi all,

Frrrrreezing cold here in Dublin - may have a white Christmas yet.

Hope you are all feeling strong.

DS

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hi All! Uh oh, I've made myself late this morning having a trip down memory lane: pre addiction times (see the What We're Listening To section) AND having to make a cheesecake for my Christmas Party this evening! I'll check in later.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good morning all!

That's it Red, make that promise to us & mostly to yourself everyday - it does help!

Greetings Hartley, DS & Dill & all to come today

I have LOTS of work to do today, I need to get started right this minute. I will be back later!
Have a great AF Monday

Lav