December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Evening friends,

10:30 pm - should be going to bed but I haven't quite unwound yet from a very busy, productive day!
It's very chilly tonight, the woodstove is doing a great job, thank goodness!

Phoenix, I believe I suffered more from 'mental' cravings than anything else after the first few days. For me it was a matter of 'convincing' myself that I was fine, I really don't want to drink anymore, things will get much better very soon, etc......... Hang in there - things DO get better, just wait it out.

cyntree, hope you survived your holiday party........this is a tough time for all of us but we can do it!

SD, you have your water & lemon, I have my pot of decaf green tea.......whatever works, right?

LBH, I am reading about using spelt flour, flax flour, etc. I really want to see if I can use them to make breads!!!!

Red, sorry you had a bad day but I have a feeling you learned something.........we all have to find new, healthier ways to comfort ourselves during bad times. That is something we all have in common!

Greetings to MM, chops, Sooty, Hartley, Dill, Davie.........hope I didn't miss anyone.

Bed time very soon.
Have a warm, comfy night one & all.

Lav

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Thanks all for your good wishes - you got me through it! I love the idea of naming our list in a crisis moment....I'll definitely use that next time I encounter a 'sticky wicket' moment!.

We had a wonder-ful party here at the house, and I'm so glad we could bring some joy into the scene here, as the company is a not-for-profit cultural institution, and all these lovely, talented people have given so much of themselves for the company and for the arts. They really deserved to have a laugh and a good meal, and I think we were able to provide that for them. The biggest laughs were the 'white elephant' gift exchange - by drawing lots.... horrible, junky items that were sheer fun to get rid of and to receive.

I'm so grateful to you all...Thanks,
Cyn

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Woo hoo, Lav! cross-post!

Red - thanks so much for posting your experience - as Lav said, we all have to find healthier ways to comfort ourselves. I believe it is the biggest challenge of all. Give yourself some love and self-care tonight. Sending healing vibes out to all.....

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good show, Cyn, for you and your guests, well done! I suspect you are going to be feeling much better tomorrow, Red. Most of us have encountered something or other we don?t yet have the skill set to master. I like what Cyn said about finding new ways to comfort ourselves, and what Lav said about reminding ourselves we are alright. I have been blindsided a couple of times by the intensity of my emotion whether it?s fear or misery or excitement and have had no clue what to do with myself sober. That?s why we have each other here, you guys can hold my marbles until I figure out where they go . See you tomorrow. Bon reve rose. :l Love, Ladybird.

[redhibiscus]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Another frosty morning.

Thanks mm, dill, lbh, cyntree, lavande, sooty, lilmean, and anyone else who responded with kindness and support. I do feel better today and will just have an AF weekend and beyond...an AF life.

Last night went to Christmas work party, five dollar gift exchange, lots of laughs, lots of fun. Today, I have tons of Christmas things to do, and a church service to try and attend this morning, so I will be soooo busy. I just want to stay home tonight and relax....eat light, have some caffeine free tea, and chill. It is still cold around here, but I like it right now...it's still kind of new.

Have to start planning Christmas menus....any ideas? The day after Christmas my family will be together, so I will make turkey and dressing. But Christmas Eve, I need ideas. My son will be here and he is kind of picky...does not like ham, or any pork or beef. So I was thinking of a sea food something. I am open to ideas, we have a wide range of people on this thread from different parts of the country and more so.....let er rip.

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

It's such a gift we give ourselves, waking up feeling good and clear-headed. It's Christmas everyday!

Red, What about having a spinach lasagna, salad and garlic bread? I like that, or spaghetti on Christmas Eve.

Davie, will you continue your list beyond 30 as more pop into your head?

Does anyone here remember a time in their life before drinking became an issue? How far back do you have to go to find such time? Sometimes I think back to myself in those days and the innocent freedom I had but didn't appreciate. I can remember as a teen, sitting on the beach at Lake Erie, watching the sunset, completely unaware of the awesome freedom of sobriety. Now, it's freedom with an effort, but so be it.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good morning chilly friends!

Brr......it's brisk

Dill, I can remember being young & waiting until I was old enough for that first 'legal' drink! It wasn't all that big of a deal when the time actually arrived.........After all the good & bad times with AL I definitely prefer to go solo from now on. I'm not dragging AL's ass into my future

Wishing everyone a terrific Saturday.
Much, much to do today, I'll check in later!

Lav

[sooty]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Hi everyone, I've been busy and haven't got much time now cos husband in choir tonight and going to need feeding early.
Lav I've got great recipe for spelt bread -

500g spelt flour
half teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon quick yeast
1 " sugar
300 ml warm water
1tablespoon veg oil

Mix flour, salt, yeast and sugar in large bowl add water and mix.
Add oil and knead
cover and let it double in size
knead again
put into 2lb bread tin cover and let it rise for 25 mins bake 220C Gas 7

Its lovely. Really easy and lovely flavour. Slightly crumbly - looks a bit like crumpet (got holes in it) not even sure if you have crumpets -anyway its really good.
The Romans used spelt flour and its mentioned in the Bible so its gotta be good.

I'll be back later, love to everyone
Sooty

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good morning Red, and all to come...sounds like you have a busy day planned - I like the sound of your evening. I will be at another party tonight (this time Trustees), but at least this time I'm not giving it at my house! I must admit, tea and a quiet eveing at home sounds better...

Lav, I have been thinking about your non-gluten, non-dairy diet. I try to stick to that when I can, but traveling makes it hard. For info about making different flour mixes, google 'celiac disease' (gluten intolerance). The Celiac Society (or whatever) has a great website with menus, ideas, and ways to fashion your own flour for baking, etc. I found it really helpful. 'Bob's Red Mill' also has ready-made Non-gluten mixes, if you can find it at a health food store. There is a breakfast hot cereal made from brown rice that I also love. For non-dairy, I use Almond Milk for my cereal, tea, etc. I find it less sweet and gunky than soy milk, the taste is refreshing, and it's really white! The other huge help I found was to make big batches of brown rice in the pressure cooker, freeze packets of it, and get big wok to do superfast healthy food. Dinner can be ready in a flash, and lots of grocery stores have stir-fry vegetables all ready to purchase. Mr Tree is like your hubby, so I've just gotten used to making 2 dinners - one for him, one for me!

LBH - I so agree with the dilemma of feeling true feelings with such intensity...a quandry! I must say, in my mind's eye your marbles are the beautiful ones with the gorgeous swirly centers - you'd better hang onto them yourself, or you might not get them all back! Congrats on 21 days...

Sending Af vibes to all today, and wishes for self-care time ---
Cyn

[sdlovespackers]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good Morning....well almost afternoon now!!!

Just got done catching up with all the new posts!! Sounds like everyone had a good Friday!! I had my Xmas party last night (which I must say I stressed out for umm...literally weeks!!) It really turned out wonderful!! I did think of all of you there...and trust me would have had way more fun if you all would have been there...I got stuck sitting next to my principal and his wife!!! Anyway...I did start out ordering a water with lemon and drank water the entire night, however I did also order a red beer which I sipped on slowly over probably an hour and a half (it was warm by the time I finished it). I had forgotten how horrible beer tastes while taking Topamax...which is good!!! SO when the meal was about over everyone ordered their last drink (my second)...and I just sipped on it and left about half of it there when I left!!! SO a beer and a half in a little a over 3 hours...NOT SO BAD!!!! I'm NOT going to start back over at "DAY 1"....I'm VERY proud of myself for handling last night, not buying more and going home and getting smashed and KNOWING today I don't need to drink!!!! And WON'T!!! I'm still on the right path!!!! I'm SOOOO thankful you all were there with me last night!!!! THANK YOU!!!!:l:l
Have a great Saturday....lots of Christmas stuff to get done....YIKES!!!
SD:l

[Peanut]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Greetings to everyone. It's been so long since i have checked in here, and I know that I should have. I have been struggling - well, not really struggling, just letting go and not feeling great about it. MY AF days seem to be getting less (although I still have them and make my self sleep 10 hours!) Working 9 hours straight at work, coming home and running/swimming and working. I have started another project - cleaning and painting my kitchen. Working like a devil last night, and BF was drinking, shots and beer and everything and he got entirely out of control and manic. Giving the kids who were here with my son shots of tequila. NOT IMPRESSED!!!! I tell ya - alcohol is the devil!!!!! Silly bugger had to work at 9 this morning, and I woke at 5:30am and he and his son were still up!!!! Raging around, looking for cigarettes. He did go to work, and I am contemplating pouring his booze down the sink. But I don't think that would be right of me. We have my work Christmas party tonight, and I don't even feel like going to it anymore. Or maybe I'll just go by myself. I need to talk to him about this, as my daughters will be coming home for the holidays, my house will be full, and I really don't want these things happening then. I'm feeling rather at a loss today about what to do about this situation. Help????

On a brighter note, Christmas is around the corner and I am looking forward to the break. The university shuts down the entire week between Christmas and New Years, so I am off work for a good week. I haven't done any shopping yet, but did make double batches of shortbread and cresent cookies the other night. Yummy. Sounds like there are lots of parties going on out there. SD - be very proud of yourself! I shall stick with soda and lime tonight at the party (IF I go!!!)

Sooty - I will make your spelt bread recipe. I brought a whack of Spelt flour home yesterday that I had milled last year (wheat breeder is breeding Spelt wheat) and although it doesn't bake up like our high quality bread wheat, it is still nice tasting - just have to expect a different product and enjoy it for what it is.

Anyway, I just wanted to reconnect with you all to say hi. Sorry about my BF rant - I will calm down. It is something like -35C out there today, so I will bundle up, let the van warm up really well and get myself to the pool for a good head-clearing workout.

Love to you all!!!
xoxoxo peanut

[Davie Souter]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Another Saturday night over.
Was close enough tonight to deciding to go out for a drink. However i didn't , but must admit if pushed I may have. Despite all the planning, posting, reading etc there is still something in me that triggers of thoughts of going out drinking - need to wotk hard on this. Good news is I'm still AF.
I note from chats with friends this evening that it may difficult for some to get used to the idea of me not drinking if I went down the pub. It's easy to say if that's the way they feel they are not real friends. But these are friends who I spend a lot of time with apart from the pub so they are not just drinking buddies. But I suppose they'll have to deal with it.

Dill - I am going to leave the 30 reasons for the moment. But I am ruling out adding more if someone else feels like adding to the list feel free.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Good evening all,

Sooty - thanks so much for the spelt bread recipe. I will give it a try as soon as I can & let you know how it works out

Cyn, thank you for your info as well! I thought I knew a fair bit about nutrition, biochemistry, etc (having taken all those courses centuries ago). I think things have really changed thanks to all the newer research. I never realized that wheat & dairy could be so acidic & rob your bones of essential minerals. I found a box of crackers called 'Ancient Grains' with seasalt by a company called Sesmark - very good & very crunchy

Greetings to Dill, LBH, SD, Davie, Sheri, Pnut!
Pnut, sorry you've had some difficulties. I don't know what I would do about the BF drinking. But I do know for sure that he wouldn't be sharing tequila with my son & his friends - no way! I wish you strength & am happy to send you all the 'Lavan-itude' you need

Time to call it a day.
Have a warm, safe night everyone!

Lav

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Goodnight from here. Just returned from a huge holiday party and liked being free from all sorts of things including alcohol. Davie, I think your friends will grow to understand you as a non drinking person; they probably just don?t know what to expect. They don?t know you will still be recognizable, that you will still have fun and enjoy them and yourself. Red, fish on Christmas Eve is a tradition at my house. Unlike every other festive dinner I don?t plan on people sitting around the Big Table but instead put out pretty plates of smoked fish along with olive tapinades and creme fraiche with horseradish, and for vegetarians I have lots of Mediterranean things such as stuffed grape leaves and little spinach pies, Spanish almonds, and a nice selection of cheese. Cyn, I think we are quite a bit a like when it comes to food; regardless of one?s budget or dietary constraints it is possible make something delightful. This is not to say that I have not created horrors such as the time I painstakingly ground barley by hand and made an inedible twelve pound brick that my boyfriend and I tossed over the wall into a field and the next spring plowed up intact with the tractor. Dill, I shall think as I go to sleep about the ways I looked at and enjoyed things before I added alcohol. Actually that is such an intriguing idea I shall think about such things tomorrow as well. Hi, Lav and Sheri, Sooty, MM, SD, Kim, Lil, Pea, Chops, and anybody else coming by. Night. Love, Ladybird.

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 2

Everything I experience serves a purpose. Today, my past is healed; I am alive,
awake, and free. I have the courage to change.--Glad Day by Joan Larkin

It is rainy and cold here this morning. I was going to get out today and find a Christmas Tree, so I will hope for a break in the rain. It is just 10 days until my daughter and her HB arrive and just 12 days until Christmas. (I can hear you all one by one, breaking into quiet song: "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Partridge in a Pear Tree.")

Pnut, I am sorry to hear of you troubles. You are rightfully upset. I do hope you get things worked out. I have no good advice, I'm afraid, but I agree with you that this must not go on when your daughters are home for the holiday. I wish you well.

SD, you did a very good job at your Christmas party. Way to go!

Cyntree, I have never tried almond milk. I have no problem with dairy, but I also enjoy soy milk occasionally. I shall give almond milk a try.

Davie, I think your friends will adjust, with time. It's really strange how much a part of our social lives and culture alc. is when you stop to think about it. But, as Sheri said, there are people who socialize without drink, and they are the better for it! For my part, I feel much more calm and confident in myself when I am out and NOT drinking. It took awhile to get to that point though.

Sheri, your Holiday party sounds like it was really fun!

Lav, is your tree up yet?

Sooty, do you bake bread very often? I used to bake it a lot, and back in the day, I used spelt flour on occasion. Now, I bake it infrequently and I use Gold Medal bread flour.

I am disheartened today as I gave in to my cravy voices yesterday in a moment of weakness. No particular reason that I can figure. I I just caved. It's as they say: Alcohol is cunning, baffling and poweful. I drank too much, but not like I used to, so there's at least that. Back to day one.