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    #1

    Why is this happening?

    Hey there!

    So here is the deal. My name is John, I live in Israel and I'm 24 years old. In general, my life is pretty good. I mean, I'm very good looking, tall, I make good money, self confident, intelligent etc. However, I have a drinking and drug problem. I drink a lot, do drugs, and constantly cross the line when intoxicated and heavily regret my actions the day after.

    I can't understand the reason for this lack in self-control, the reason I can't limit myself. This, obviously, has implications on every aspect of my life - work, love life, friendship.

    I used to ignore this issue - it seemed ok, or even cool when I was 17. But I have reached this point in my life where I realize that I can't even get myself a girlfriend because I reach these retarded levels of drunkness that my friends have to carry me home.

    I don't see myself as a depressed person, which makes it even harder for me to find the rational for this habit. I'm a happy energetic person which gets along perfectly with everyday enviorments, so why the hell do I have this constant need to escape sobriety?

    Thanks in advance for any advice or opinions.
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    #2
    Why is this happening?

    Hi John, :welcome:

    You have reached the mother lode of addiction websites. I have all the symptoms you have and have had them for 35-40 years. I cannot get enough to drink once I have just one.

    What is wrong with you? The same thing that is wrong with all of us here. We are addicted to our drug of choice. My disease is alcoholism. Yours may be a combination of others.

    Congratulations on realizing now that you have a problem. It will only get worse if it is not corrected.

    Com
    Com1

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      #3
      Why is this happening?

      Obviously I've brought this issue up because I wish to correct it. The question is how do you correct it? You've been dealing with these symptoms for decades. What were the ways that helped you deal with it?

      Comment

        #4
        Why is this happening?

        Elm/John:

        Here's the deal: You are realizing that alcohol isn't doing you any good.

        I SO Wish I had that realization at your age!!

        Being a woman, I Hate to admit my age! -- but I'm 56. And it didn't occur to me until a year or so ago that I had a problem. (I'm a fairly intelligent person - but managed to sweep it under the rug for a Long time!)

        The Realization of this is HUGE. And that you've done it at your age is... Phenomenal.

        As far as "how do you correct it" goes... it starts by simply (?!!) NOT doing it.

        NOT buying it, NOT going places where you will drink, etc. etc.

        Man, I wish I were as smart as you at your age!

        Took me a very long time.

        Remember, too, that it gets Worse. You may have a problem now, but I Promise it will get worse with time unless you deal with it Now.

        ...with Age brings Wisdom!

        Please do something now to get control. You have Everything to live for!!
        Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

        Comment

          #5
          Why is this happening?

          Hi savon19!

          First off, thanks for your reply. Your advice of just "not doing it" is probably the best and most sensible advice a person could give me. However, I am young, and drinking has become an integral part of my social life or even life in general. All my friends drink and whenever I go out, obviously drinking is involved. So, yes, drinking alone at home is definitely something I'd like to avoid, however quitting altogether can have undesired implications that can make it very hard to for me to bare.

          How can I moderate this problem? Just have it under control...

          Comment

            #6
            Why is this happening?

            Elm, Congrats on realizing you have a problem. I bet half of your friends do also.

            You have a lot of work to do. This site has great info and support to start your journey.
            You are a smart young man, think of this as a huge research project. Learn as much as you can. Education is power , the more you know the more you'll be able to figure out what steps you need to start...All steps count...even baby steps...

            That voice in your head is the truth. It wants a chance to grow strong and help you be the best you can be.

            Ask questions, everyone is here for support, no judgement.:welcome: MM

            Comment

              #7
              Why is this happening?

              ElmGoodie;773300 wrote: Obviously I've brought this issue up because I wish to correct it. The question is how do you correct it? You've been dealing with these symptoms for decades. What were the ways that helped you deal with it?
              I suggest you read Roberta Jewel's book. She suggests a program of sorts with supplements, exercise, etc. Different things work for different people. Many read the book and stick here for support in riding out cravings. This thread is helpful in how to sugggestions. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
              sigpic
              Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

              Comment

                #8
                Why is this happening?

                ElmGoodie;773319 wrote: Hi savon19!

                First off, thanks for your reply. Your advice of just "not doing it" is probably the best and most sensible advice a person could give me. However, I am young, and drinking has become an integral part of my social life or even life in general. All my friends drink and whenever I go out, obviously drinking is involved. So, yes, drinking alone at home is definitely something I'd like to avoid, however quitting altogether can have undesired implications that can make it very hard to for me to bare.

                How can I moderate this problem? Just have it under control...
                Quit for 30 days and see how you fare. The mind games of the beast (alcohol) are incredible. I've seen many many people (myself included) try unsuccessuflly to moderate or control it.
                sigpic
                Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                Comment

                  #9
                  Why is this happening?

                  :welcome:

                  I agree with Greeneyes. Start by reading the book. Change up your routine/habits and do whatever it takes to go 30 days without any alcohol or drugs. You will be amazed at how you will feel after those 30 days...then go 30 more and decide if you really want to drink at all anymore.
                  _______________
                  NF since June 1, 2008
                  AF since September 28, 2008
                  DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                  _____________
                  :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                  5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                  _______________
                  The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Why is this happening?

                    One thing in your post stuck out to me, "I don't see myself as a depressed person, which makes it even harder for me to find the rational for this habit."

                    The medical model of addiction is that it is a disease, a primary disease. You didn't cause it, and you can't cure it. There are studies that show that addiction is often hereditary, but as far as some deep hidden secret as to why you get wasted......it starts out as fun, but ends up as a need. I noticed that lots of people party in their early life but eventually stop, cause it is just not acceptable. You are at that stage, you want more in life than getting drunk/high all the time. Good for you, you can do this. Get all the info you can and then make a plan. It will be a journey, and you may have to make changes in your social life, but that will all come with time. I am so glad you found this site. I wish I had when I was younger.
                    Redhibiscus
                    ______________________________

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Why is this happening?

                      I absolutely agree with everyone else, it's a sickness and an addiction, that's what compels us to keep drinking when it seems to defy all reasonable sense.

                      It can be overcome, I'm relatively new here myself but there is plenty of great advice here and plans to follow. You're at a great point to be able to turn things around and have a better future.

                      Comment

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