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    #1

    Not technically a newbie

    So a few of you know me, I'm not technnically a newbie, but i'm here to start over again and in a way I guess that makes my place here. Since last I spoke to most of you guys, its safe to say I've been drinking again, anybody who's seen my tracker will know that, and anybody who read my last post on here knows I've been smoking again too. I'm in trouble, again. I don't drink that much, but I can't stop, I don't smoke that much but equally, I'm finding stopping very difficult. I suppose I'm looking for support, I've recently come out of a serious depression and have dived head first into another self-destructive spiral (I have these sporadically and usually spend half a year having them, and another half recovering from them). Anybody who thinks they could help me make any changes I make stick this time, I'd really welcome your advice. My aim is to moderate again, drinking only on weekends (after christmas is over) and stop smoking asides from socially again. Please help. Many thanks

    AlAp
    When I was a kid I thought I wanted all the things that I hadn't got, but I learned the hardest way

    Time to get what I'm really looking for 17/03/10
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    #2
    Not technically a newbie

    Hi Allapologies,
    I am not really new here but don't post much. I have been at this 6 months and now I am at 3 months alcohol free. It is a hard fight sometimes but what helped me the most was putting it off and reasoning the urges away. Why do I think I want a drink and then why I really do not. The do not always wins now. Also having a plan helps. I think it is about how we feel about ourselves. It is just that if we can care about ourselves, we can save our self from all of it. Posting helps and reading also helps. I saw a documentary on Utube called 'Rain in my heart" If you get a chance watch it. It is 10 parts and takes about a hour to see. Well worth the time. It may change how you deal with your addiction. It did me. Good luck and take care.
    X TsHope
    OK, I am starting all over. sigpic

    Comment

      #3
      Not technically a newbie

      I have tried before, I achieved 30 days sober, then a firther 2 months of succesful moderation before sinking back into old habits. I know most techniques to stop drinking, but lack ideas to help me deal with what it is that -makes me drink-.
      When I was a kid I thought I wanted all the things that I hadn't got, but I learned the hardest way

      Time to get what I'm really looking for 17/03/10

      Comment

        #4
        Not technically a newbie

        Over the past two years, as the AF lengthens and the destructive binges shorten, the one thing I've discovered over everything - and constantly struggle to actually put into practice! - is that you have to learn to love yourself. Not in a narcissistic way of course, just being comfortable in your own skin.

        Sounds easy but I know in my case it means digging really deep into places that it's always been easier to just shut out. IMHO, allowing yourself to really analyze and admit what's behind the anger, bitterness, fear and anxiety etc. is a process of self-honesty that is probably essential if any of us can hope to conquer addictions and not just put band aids on the problem.

        Even writing this on a message board is something I wouldn't have dreamed of a couple of years back. Never show weakness and all that - well bollocks to that. I'd rather be weak than dead.

        I used to be a muso - now I'm just a cod psychologist! :H:H

        Best of luck to you.
        "It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California you lose one point of your IQ every year."

        Comment

          #5
          Not technically a newbie

          Hartley;774475 wrote: Over the past two years, as the AF lengthens and the destructive binges shorten, the one thing I've discovered over everything - and constantly struggle to actually put into practice! - is that you have to learn to love yourself. Not in a narcissistic way of course, just being comfortable in your own skin.


          Hi, I agree, over the last few months I've finally got some control over my drinking, then two work colleagues make me feel like crap (their last victim left the company), and I know I let           them make me feel this way,but it still affects me, and I am back to drinking again. But how do you build up the self confidence and learn to like yourself again after so many years in a bottle, especially when there are people around always ready to knock you down again?
          I guess, to answer my own question, I've just got to stop drinking and become stronger, but it is easier said than done.
          Good luck AllApologies.
          And thanks Hartley, I know what you said makes sense.
          TsHope - I watched that too, what kept me off the AL for a while was saying to myself 'Do you want to end up like Vanda?', I should watch it again just to remind myself.

          Comment

            #6
            Not technically a newbie

            Hi and welcome back Allapol,

            I am one that has to be AF as moderation just would never be an option. A try at moderation ALWAYS ends with me back in the beer can all over again. And it is instantly.

            It sounds as if you really want to moderate but maybe you are like some here that it is just not a viable option.

            Good luck,

            com
            Com1

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              #7
              Not technically a newbie

              AA - You're able to smoke.. Socially?? I made decision to stop today (AGAIN). I'm actually more disgusted about that than I am drinking.

              I agree with Com1 about moderation. I think it just makes it harder. It may be possible for a while, but sooner or later (usu. Sooner!) I'll end up drinking too much.

              And the more time AF, the better you start to feel - which, in turn, motivates you to stay AF. If I drank "just on weekends", I'd end up drinking too much! And I'm sure it would leak over to other days pretty quickly!!
              Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

              Comment

                #8
                Not technically a newbie

                I gave up drinking and smoking simultaneously. Well, a week between, I think. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I lasted 80 days and really did not care if I had a drink or not. Then I went out for dinner and had 2 or 3 glasses of wine. I thought I could handle it. Well, I couldn't and I've been trying to get back to 80 days and beyond ever since.

                I remember how I felt in those days of sobriety without even caring about a drink. I want that back. For me, giving up the first time was relatively easy. Each time since has just led me back to another drink and another, etc. (you know)

                If you can get off it, stay off it. I will do it again and this time it will be forever. All I am trying to say, that for me, each time I try it just gets harder. But don't give up.

                Smoking - yep I bought a packet recently and nearly threw up, but I smoked every last one - took me 3 days, but I did. Can't say I really think about smoking now tho.
                Feb 04 2009 80 days AF.
                AF May 23 09 to July 09
                AF December 16, 09 FORWARD.

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                  #9
                  Not technically a newbie

                  Thanks a lot guys for the advice. If I was older, as I assume many of you, I would consider stopping permenantly, however I am in fact 2 months form my 19th birthday. In my opinion, I'm too young to give up on my chances of moderating just yet, especially with my 21st Birthday yet to come.
                  When I was a kid I thought I wanted all the things that I hadn't got, but I learned the hardest way

                  Time to get what I'm really looking for 17/03/10

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Not technically a newbie

                    Yeah, a lot of us are older and wish we could turn back the clock to where you are now. And I think most would agree that we would have definately made a different choice. As for myself I would not want to mod, drink, smoke or anything. I just wish it was never a part of my life. I have nothing but regret from drinking.

                    As for help....well, whats your plan? I would recommend trying the supps. Keep reading and posting. There is a lot of great people here with great advice.

                    PM me anytime
                    :l
                    Ak
                    :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

                    Comment

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