Not new but starting over and in need of support

[UrbanFool]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Awesome!

[stirly-girly]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Way to go from me too, Liath!!
We haven't met yet - Stirly's the name and I'm a newbie. Joined Dec.1st. Am AF since Dec. 9th along with a few other folks that started a couple of days before or a couple of days after me. We'd be honored to have you join our little group of starters.
Truly sorry to hear about your Dad. We can use experiences like this in a positive way, to turn our own lives around and not go down that awful path that others have before us. Don't blame yourself for the state you're in. Alcoholism is a complex thing. I believe it is hereditary, that we have genes that prevent us from being able to control ourselves when it comes to alcohol. As someone said, our brains are wired differently that other folks' who can have a few drinks and stop there or do not even have the urge to have one or two drinks every day.
Getting back in touch with the wonderful people here at MWO is indeed a positive step. And planning to be AF even for today is another big step. Keep reading the posts, keep in touch with the group here. They are all so supportive. I never imagined that something like MWO even existed. It has saved many so far. It can help you save yourself.
Best wishes on your new start.
Stirly
:wavin:

[Liath]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Stirly- I would be thrilled to join you! Where do you post usually? And yes, I do believe that our brains are wired differently. The more I drink, the more sick I feel, yet the more I WANT to drink. Then when I am hung over I feel like I NEED to drink in order to avoid feeling terrible. Well yesturday I had a few for that very reason and when it was gone, I went to bed knowing that today was going to be a new and wonderful day.

DAY 1-AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, I have a plan that involves an AF house, avoiding all AL in fact until I am stronger. If there was beer in the fridge I would surely drink it. I tossed and turned last night, having nightmares about my messy life and also night sweats. I dreamt of by BF packing up and leaving me. But I know that only one thing matters and needs my absolute attention right now and that is STAYING AF for 10 days. (Ten days because then I will have to go home and face my dad and the usual mimosas/beer/wine and whatever else they are going to throw at me. Not saying I am going to drink but cant worry about it yet!)

I must focus on today. Forcing myself to eat for what seems like the first time in days... Taking stock of my supplements. Going to work for 8 hours tonight.... I have a friend giving me a ride home so I wont be tempted to go to a bar. Things are looking up!!!!

[stirly-girly]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Hi again Liath.
Glad to hear that you want to join us. If you click on my name up in the left corner of this answer box, a window will open and one of the tabs is "all posts by Stirly-Girly. There you can find what I've posted so far. There are quite a few of them. I'm mainly in Newbie's Nest and new threads in the "Just Starting Out" forum". My own thread is there. If you go to page two of Just Starting Out, you'll find it there. Title - Anyone want to join me to get started AF. I mention it simply because there is a post there where I describe what my drinking was like the last while. Just in case you wanted to know. Good luck in staying AF for another day, one day at a time. Will be following your thread...
Stirly

[Sauria]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Hi, I'm Cheryl and this is my first day on this site. I have been drinking heavily (most every evening) for the last 7 or 8 years, and it's time to stop. I have started experiencing serious health problems, and I figure chardonney is not helping anything. I haven't had a drink since Friday night. The worst problem that I have is the insomonia, it is so, so, so hard to sleep. Although there is something to be said about not waking up with a hangover.

I haven't told anyone that I know that I have stopped drinking, or that I know I have a problem. I understand the shame that people are talking about.

I am hoping that together we can support each other

[Liath]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Thanks Stirly. I will check it out!

Sauria- welcome and we are here for you when you need us! I am very happy to have made it through day 1! I felt a bit sick at work but not nearly as bad as I would if I was really hung over. I am already making a plan for tomorrow. Its a day off so it may be difficult. Also, there is the trouble at home. Sigh. Its never easy, is it?

[stirly-girly]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Hi Sauria
I'm an early bird today so will be one of the first to say :welcome: to MWO.
First know that you have come to a very caring and supportive group of people. We all have one common goal, to live a better life. We all admit that we have a problem with alcohol, most of us are alcoholics, and whether we strive for moderation or AF - alcohol free, we are all aiming to turn our lives around.
If you read the posts here you will see that most of the people here are going through or have already gone through what you are dealing with now. You will find great advice from people who can understand you because their circumstances and past experiences with alcohol reflect yours.
The health problems created by alcohol are many. And the longer we abuse, the greater and more numerous the problems will be. We have to remember that the problems are not only physical, but psychological as well.
Know that you can beat the drink. You can control it rather than letting it control you. There are many, many things at MWO to help you win the battle. In reading, you will find ways to help the insomnia as well. Check out the site and you can see what's available. Besides the books, cd's, etc., there is a great group of people reaching out their hands to you to help you along the way.
You have already taken important steps to living a better life. You admitted you have a problem, you've stopped drinking since Friday and you have joined us at MWO.
Best of luck to you. Read as much as you can here, write what you want and ask whatever you want. We are all in this together for each other.
Stirly

:l

[stirly-girly]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Liath, congrats on getting through Day One!! It's a huge step. :goodjob:
It's ODAAT here - one day at a time. Little baby steps that one by one take us a long way.
Good that you have a plan for tomorrow. A day off can sometimes be tricky. You have a lot of time on your hands and if you haven't found activities to fill in the hours, it's really tough sometimes not to pick up that first drink out of boredom (at least that's what we say). Take a long walk, rent a couple of movies, go help a friend with a job that needs an extra hand, call an old friend up just to get back in touch, go to the gym. Anything to keep busy and keep yourself occupied.
No, it is never easy and especially if the circumstances at home complicate the situation. You seem to have a really positive attitude about this tho' and I'm sure you're going to be okay.
Good luck. We'll be following your posts and giving a helping hand when needed.
Stirly
:l

[ultrabunny]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

I have done Day One too whoop whoop!!

I am decorating the bathroom today, I'm going make it all tranquil and I have also bought some double luck bamboo. 2010 is going to be a good year for me, I'm determined to make it happen.

[stirly-girly]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Hey U-Buns. Way To Go!!!
Keep up with the good work. You can do it "one hop at a time"!!
Stirly

[redhibiscus]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Liath,
This thread is turning positive. That is something I remember about you from your past posts, you are interesting and determined. Also very intelligent, which can help in this AF lifestyle that so many of us really desire. I am so happy for your day 1 AF. That is the beginning. :goodjob:

Now, self care. Do good things for yourself. When we are drinking, we are hurting ourselves and the shame and guilt can be overwhelming. So, make a list of good things to do for yourself today, to enjoy your day off, make it productive and useful. On my not hungover Saturdays, I love to clean my house, exercise, read and/or go to the library, talk on the phone to loved ones, enjoy my kitties, and plan a nice dinner. If I can afford it, I will buy a CD, listen to music and last Saturday I went to a special Christmas church service. It made me feel good, and I saw and spoke to a friend from work. What will you do for yourself today? You deserve to have a lovely, peaceful AF day off. :l

[Chillgirl]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Hi Guys

Sauria re the insomnia it gets better quite quickly, when I get it I try to stay calm and not worry about being tired the next day, as you say its better than being hungover!!

I usually put the light on and read, like everyone has been saying be good to yourself...
We spend to much time beating oursevles up.

Liath I get night sweats to..no fun but like the insomnia they should pass quite quickly,
I have been wrapping myself up in a big fluffy towel.

[~EVA~]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Liath;775036 wrote: Sigh. Its never easy, is it?

I was a member here awhile ago & left. I was sober for a long time yet found myself slipping back to my old thinking. I took a hard look at myself during my time away & decided that enough was enough. I was constantly sick. Waking up was horrible. And like you I had to have a pick me up in order to function. That was no way to live.

My dad was also an alcoholic my whole childhood and he quit after i got married. Unlike me he was a functioning alcoholic-he never missed a day of work. Today at 77 he's AF & can have just 1.

Today I'm AF-and just for today. I'm not worried about tomorrow & I'm proud of my yesterday. It does get easier but it does sneak up on you. It is constantly a work in progress. I'm learning something new each day. I'm finding that I don't need alcohol as a crutch. I also know that I'm not powerless over alcohol unless I take that first sip. If I don't go to the package store & buy something then I've won.

Keep up the positive "I can do it" attitude. We're behind you!

[Liath]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Red, Eva, Chillgirl, Ultrabunny and Stirly, thank you for your support and kind words!

My morning started out very bad but it is getting better. My BF is ready to leave today if I say so. But he loves me and wants us to be together forever. He is starting to understand what a serious problem I have with AL and will do anything to help. Though I am not certain, I could not bring myself to kick him out of my life forever. He is my best friend and I can't handle it in the midst of this battle with AL. I am not sure how much of my unhappiness is HIM or the AL. I am sure many of you have felt desperately unhappy while drinking and looked for other things to blame then the AL...

So... its not a day for drastic decisions. It is a day for cleaning the house, shopping online, and avoiding AL at all costs. I want a drink quite badly. I am just not falling for it.. not today. ODAT. I plan to keep posting to get through this. I am also reading a book called "Happy Hours" about women and drinking.

Take care all!

[Liath]

Not new but starting over and in need of support

Eva-

I did the same thing. Joined and left, slowly slipping back into the troublesome drinking and negative thought patterns. Perhaps we can help eachother get it right this time around!