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    #1

    Getting through xmas

    Hi

    So I'm sat here pretty hungover and feeling like I have hit rock bottom. I have a broken heart, massive debts, terrible job, single mum, the list goes on...

    I know that although things are bad, I have a home and my kids are great (and healthy) and I'm healthy too (although if I keep going like this I won't be) But what I really want to do is to stop drinking. I have been fighting this for 15 years now and I'm so tired.

    If I bite the bullet and do it today, I have to get through xmas and new year sober, with everyone trying to get me to have a drink, they don't get it that when I start, I can't stop. It's like I hate myself so much that the only way I am happy is when I'm drunk but then it's always end the same, me crying and in a mess. My kids are so used to me being like this now, it's the norm.

    This is the 3rd xmas that I have been unhappy. I don't want another xmas day with me drunk and crying. I need to find the strength to get through it sober.

    Thanks for letting me wibble on, I guess I'm looking for support here, I can't (and don't want to) go to AA.

    UBx
    Tags: None
    #2
    Getting through xmas

    :welcome:
    Hi Ultrabunny!
    My name is Stirly-Girly. Is this your first day at MWO? I joined Dec 1st but had already been checking out the posts for about a week before joining. How about you? Did you just discover MWO today.?
    Stirly
    :wavin:
    For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
    AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

    Comment

      #3
      Getting through xmas

      I have a couple of tips about getting through the parties and the offers of drinks, etc., etc.
      For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
      AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

      Comment

        #4
        Getting through xmas

        Hi Ultrabunny

        Im new like Stirly-Girly too although I havent totally given up yet,
        I really sympathize with you about this time of year there is SO much pressure to drink!

        I was AF yesterday and feel amazing today, I also plucked up the strength to opt out of the Christmas day party I'd been invited to and its like a load is off my mind.. It doesnt mean I wont drink but I certainly wont drink as much.

        Im trying to have as many AF days as possible before the end of the year then I intend to totally stop completely.

        Im 45 and am on my own and this has been ruining my life for too long, we can all crack this if we support one another, you are not alone and we all understand

        Stirly you are doing great! Hope to chat to you soon
        "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
        AF - JAN 1st 2010
        NF - May 1996

        Comment

          #5
          Getting through xmas

          hi ultrabunny, just like to say welcome to mwo,this is a great community with lots of advice and support,read as many threads and posts as you can and you will see that you are not alone.hope you stick around ,see ya


          :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

          Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
          I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

          This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

          Comment

            #6
            Getting through xmas

            Hi UB,
            Glad you found us.
            Last Christmas was a nightmare for me and I'm going to make sure that this one is peaceful. I'm not indulging in any of the round of partying that most other people will be 'enjoying'. I'll be staying in and taking a couple of weeks rest and if anyone thinks me odd then fine, I'm odd, but I'll not be waking up black and blue or riddled with guilt like I was last year. I'll go and see my grandkids and have some nice food and I'll be happy with that.
            Drinking ruined me and I'm trying to fix the mess I made and I'm not going to let it rule my life any more.
            I can be merry without being a drunk.

            Comment

              #7
              Getting through xmas

              Hi Chill.
              Glad to see you're on board for the AF days. Yes, I'm doing great and feel so much better I can't believe it. And only after 6 days AF.
              Now if we can only get Ultrabunny to reply to our posts....
              We've all been through what she's going through so we know how tough it is. Like you say, especially at this time of year when the parties and the family gatherings are an every day thing instead of a once in a while event.

              U-Buns - alcoholics have many, many things in common so we can all help each other. So much more than someone who isn't alcoholic and doesn't know what it means to have some little buggers running around in your brain telling you that you just have to have a drink. To calm down, to give you a boost, to make you feel better after a rough day at the office, to get a head start on the party you're going to. For most of us- 99% I'd say, it all starts out the same way, with "Just One Drink", and almost always ends the same way - staggering off to bed after trying to watch a movie on TV, crawling up the stairs to the front door after our buddies have dropped us off and maybe for some, having to rely on the support of our kids to get us into bed safely. We've all been there and we all know how tough it is. Let us try to help you.
              These are a fantastic bunch of people here at MWO. As I said, I joined Dec. 1st and started a thread Dec. 8th about wanting to be AF (alcohol free). The response was overwhelming and I am now on my 6th day. So, let us give you a helping hand, many helping hands to try to get on the AF path. As I've said before, here at MWO, there are many hands to catch you if you stumble and many more to help you get back on your feet if you fall. Just keep in touch with us and we'll do what we can. This is a place where you can hide your face behind your computer screen but you can bare your heart and soul to others who have gone through or are going through just what you are.
              Don't hate yourself. It leads nowhere. You didn't ask to be where you are but you can be somewhere better if you just try.
              Stirly
              :huggy
              For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
              AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

              Comment

                #8
                Getting through xmas

                Hey all,

                Thanks so much for all your messages, it's so good to know that I'm not alone.

                I have just spoken to my best friend and she said that she couldn't meet up next week and I was so relieved cos it's means that I can really start to be AF. I love her so much and I know that she will totally understand when I tell her that I'm giving up, but I just need to not have that temptation next week. We always get so drunk when we are together, she is the same as me but not ready to give up yet.

                My step dad always likes me to drink like him at xmas. I just don't want to be that mess anymore. I want to wake up with a clear head and not be cringing after remembering the things I did the night before.

                So many bad things have happened in the last few years, it's almost funny, they just keep happening time after time. I just keep dealing with it in the same way, getting drunk.

                I'm feeling strong now but how strong will I be later...

                I have Antabuse upstairs, if I take them it takes the choice out of my hands but then I end counting the days till I can drink again.

                Man, I'm so tired of this fight. It's like Groundhog day here!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Getting through xmas

                  You've given me some renewed strength today.
                  I was actually considering drinking a little over the holidays but you got me realising how stupid that would be.
                  Thanks

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Getting through xmas

                    Really? I was just looking at your 'sober since Jan 5th 09' and thinking how amazing it would be to have nearly a year AF under my belt.

                    I would like to be like that next year.

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                      #11
                      Getting through xmas

                      I still get the odd stupid thought and I need reminding what I'm doing here.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Getting through xmas

                        Ultrabunny
                        Me too when I saw Popeyes date!!
                        Im SO determined thats going to be me next year...

                        Popeye why would you ever want to go back to feeling like us?
                        You should be so proud of yourself and looking forward to celebrating 1 year without the demon...
                        "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                        AF - JAN 1st 2010
                        NF - May 1996

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Getting through xmas

                          You have done brilliant.

                          Trust me, sitting here with a hangover and regrets sucks.

                          I want to be clear headed and free of addictions.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Getting through xmas

                            ultrabunny;774668 wrote: Really? I was just looking at your 'sober since Jan 5th 09' and thinking how amazing it would be to have nearly a year AF under my belt.

                            I would like to be like that next year.
                            You can do it!
                            Honestly.
                            If it wasn't Christmas there would always be another reason to have a drink, so today is as good a time as any to bite the bullet and start your new adventure.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Getting through xmas

                              My daughter (who's 13) tried Vodka a few months ago (it was my vodka) and she ended in hospital. She says that she never wants to be like that and wants me to give up drinking for ever. It's so hard to say to her that I have tried but can't.

                              That I am powerless to a drug that is ruining all our lives.

                              It's funny, some people think I'm an inspiration for things that I have achieved in ultra triathlons, but they don't know that although I can do those 'amazing' things, I can't do the one thing that I really want to. I feel like a fraud.

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