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    #31
    Getting through xmas

    Hey Lissie

    It's nice knowing that I'm not alone, not just in the drinking but the heartbroken bit too. My ex was a nasty, spiteful bully and I put up with him for too long. But having said, that my drinking played a part in the relationships problems too, but I drank mostly cos I was so uphappy.

    I want to be in a happy healthy relationship and I don't want alcohol to be involved.

    Do you have family to be with? or friends?

    We have to stick together with this ok? I intend to post LOTS!!

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      #32
      Getting through xmas

      Stick together you new ladies. You CAN do it, both of you, each and every one of us can. We are all in this together to get out lives back on track and to take better care of ourselves...
      Stirly
      For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
      AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

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        #33
        Getting through xmas

        Morning Guys!

        Lissie I can understand your heartache, my ex is with someone else too!
        Im going to be spending christmas on my own but its through choice as I want to avoid drinking too much.

        I also want to really sort myself out before I go into any new relationship, if I have a better idea of who I am I will know who is best for me and that will need to be someone who doesnt have an alco dependancy.

        2nd AF day and feeling good...!!
        "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
        AF - JAN 1st 2010
        NF - May 1996

        Comment

          #34
          Getting through xmas

          Yeah, I feel like that too Chill. My ex wasn't dependent on al but he used to like getting drunk and I could never cut back or stop when he was around.

          I want to be on my own for as long as it takes to sort this out. And now I have found this site, I don't feel so lonely anymore.

          Comment

            #35
            Getting through xmas

            Hi again. Sounds like both you ladies will be and are far better off without the ex's no matter how hard it may seem sometimes. Onward and upward ladies.... be free!!
            Stirly
            For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
            AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

            Comment

              #36
              Getting through xmas

              Hi Guys

              I just wanted to add a couple of things about getting through this party time...

              Just 10 days ago I was worried about what to say to people knowing my friends would make a face or raise their eyes at me not drinking, I have to say that having found this site I have also found the strength to just say "no, I dont want to". Somehow now I only care about whats best for me and not for them.

              I do however understand that you wont all feel the same and one of the excuses I was going to use was that i'd had a liver function test which was too high. I have actually ordered a testing kit from the internet to reassure myself that im ok physically which im waited to arrive.

              Even my drinking friends care enough about me not to want me to drink in these circumstance and therefore I know this would make them back off.
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment

                #37
                Getting through xmas

                Feeling a bit low and I am so wanting a drink right now.

                I was clearing everything off my Mac to do with my ex and I found an old email that floored me. It was from when we were good (a year ago) and it made me feel so sad.

                Also, just picked up my son and his teacher has said he needs one to one tutoring to catch up and I feel like I have failed. i have been so preoccupied with me and my stuff I have ignored my kids.

                Feel like crying here, need a hug!

                Comment

                  #38
                  Getting through xmas

                  Hey buns. You can't gain anything by having a drink. You can't bring back the days when you and your ex were good nor can you improve your son's situation. The most likely thing is that you'll end up drunk and crying and a mess and that's the pits.
                  Don't beat yourself up about whether or not you are a good Mom. You are the best Mom you can be under the circumstances. You didn't ask to have this problem but you can turn things around and make a better life for you and especially for your kids by being there when and wherever they need you. We've all been where you are. How about trying to stay where some of us are now. AF one day at a time. Please don't take that drink. There's a big hug waiting for you from all of us. If you want, we can talk on chat
                  Stirly
                  For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                  AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Getting through xmas

                    :hug:

                    Hey Ubunny hope you felt that BIG group hug!

                    You are doing great, remember how good you felt when you woke up this morning...
                    I met a friend for coffee earlier who is the only person face to face in my life who knows of my addiction, she has been AF for 2 years.

                    She knows I have cut back and getting ready to stop Jan 1st and I asked her for some tips,
                    one was she told me to remember how I felt last weekend when I was horrendously hungover and ill, unable to fuction properly and severely depressed...
                    Compared to how I feel today.

                    You are far from a failure where your kids are concerned, you know you want to get over this so you will be more help to them and knowing that is HUGE. His needing one to one is probably nothing to do with you and isnt it great the teacher has pointed out where he need help.

                    Stay strong Bunny we are all rooting for you!
                    "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                    AF - JAN 1st 2010
                    NF - May 1996

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Getting through xmas

                      Buns, we're in chat. Why don't you join us there...
                      For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                      AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                      Comment

                        #41
                        Getting through xmas

                        I just like mostly reading all the posts,as i find that helps me a lot,i have cut back lots since i came here,and i am finding i am controlling my drinking much more.

                        Comment

                          #42
                          Getting through xmas

                          ultrabunny;774674 wrote: My daughter (who's 13) tried Vodka a few months ago (it was my vodka) and she ended in hospital. She says that she never wants to be like that and wants me to give up drinking for ever. It's so hard to say to her that I have tried but can't.
                          It should not be hard. She can now be your biggest supporter. She knows how sick it makes you, and you still have problems quitting. That's gotta be a HUGE incentive for her!

                          And when you're feeling bad, just think of something else to do. I just refuse to let past stuff that I can't do anything about to "drive me to drink". I spent too many years looking for excuses to drink and blame it on something else and I refuse to do it anymore!
                          Kelly

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Getting through xmas

                            Ha! Thanks to a huge stodgy tea (dinner!) I feel loads better. Never underestimate the power of having a full stomach in the battle against the booze. It always works for me. If I'm stressed and hungry then it's wine wine wine BUT if I can get myself to eat a proper cooked meal, then I am able to remember what I'm trying to do here.

                            Thanks guys xxx

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Getting through xmas

                              If you haven't heard it, keep in mind HALT. Never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Thirsty! I have that one hanging on my wall!
                              Kelly

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                                #45
                                Getting through xmas

                                I love that, so simple but makes so much sense

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