i am scared of myself

[laurio6]

hello everyone. i guess i am here as kind of a last resort. i've been hospitalized before and in treatment and nothing seems to work. i don't believe in god or aa, but the truth is that i need help, some kind of it. i've been drinking for six years, but the past month has been the worst. i've been drinking more than eighteen beers a day, not sleeping, gaining weight. ive lost my job and missed class today and im scared to death what kind of damage i am doing to my body. no one but my roommate knows this is going on. what do i do?

[Preciouspinot]

i am scared of myself

This is a good start....just posting for the first time is hard, I know. Keep reading and posting. I'm sure you will be able to identify with alot of people here. We share alot of common ground. I see you roommate knows but, is she helpful? sympathetic? judgemental? in the same boat?

[Ivygoodluck]

i am scared of myself

You've come to the right place.

Laurie,

You came to the right place. You will find a lot of help and support here. It sounds like you are self-medicating for anxiety. Are you being treated for that?

In addition to all the support, this program involves taking supplements and a medicine called Topamax that reduces alchohol craving. You might want to print out the Lancet article which describes the research on it for your doctor.

May I ask, how old are you? You mentioned school and a roommate, so I'm thinking you are in college. You are stil very young and now is the time to do something about this.

Read the posts, drop into chat, and get started. Welcome:welcome: :welcome: :welcome:

Ivy

[Quiescent]

i am scared of myself

Hi Laurie,

:welcome:

Click on the blog link above and you can download the book for free right now. It will give you all the steps you need to point you in the right direction!

Best of luck to you:h

[Rick]

i am scared of myself

first step

I feel you're on the first step. Just by talking about it makes it human. This is a messy thing, I know from experience. Not to sound corny...just try to be a friend to yourself.

[C]

i am scared of myself

Dear Laurio...

There is a lot of experience & helpful ways to overcome here. And just so one knows what best to say....How old are you dear? Are you in college..you mentioned classes?? Are you in a dorm or apartment?

My daughter had similar problem -- I am sure we can help you figure out how to overcome this....

Don't worry ..you will be fine..but you/we must work this....ie first ..reply

[Ann]

i am scared of myself

Hi Lauri, welcome, you are in a good place here even if you just hang and take it all in for a while. Good stuff will rub off on ya! Rick's point is a great one - try and be a friend to yourself. That is so accurate. Take baby steps, good luck, stay here. Ann

[toomuch]

i am scared of myself

hey laurio,
just started the program myself. very scared of what i am doing to myself also. started drinking in the a.m. before breakfast and sometimes waking up during the night to down a beer so i could sleep ( or pass out). i would throw up as soon as i drank the a.m. beer and then have to go to work. this program makes since to me and i'm pretty sceptical. read the book, get involved in chat or just reading the posts. i to think this could be related to anxiety? depresion. maybe you should talk to your family for support if possible. i did this and they are nothing but helpful. seems they already knew but wanted me to tell them. anyway, we are all in the same boat. you are not alone. we are here to help. even us rookies. toomuch

[psychmommy]

i am scared of myself

Have you looked into school resources?

Hi,

I'm new here too, so I can't offer you much in terms of advice. But, I'm a graduate student and I've found the services offered by universities can be very helpful for meds or therapy. Even if you're at a communty college, they should have some kind of low-cost referral system you can take advantage of. Actually being at a school places you in a good place, because they usually have some kind of services that are low cost, and they see a lot of addictions. Hang in there! :welcome: