December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Good morning all!

Cyn & Red, I like the sound of 'raising vibrational levels in the house'. I suppose that's what we all are striving to do. And that's why I'm so irritated with my brother & his drunken emails. He really wants to pull me into his misery but I won't go there. I've blocked him on Facebook so I hope his missives stop.

Dill, if someone put an open bottle of wine in front of me this week - I'd probably fall right into it. I'm not buying any & I really hope no one brings a bottle. It would be so easy to fall right back into my old mode even after going 9 months without it. I think I will put my blinders back on to help maintain my focus over the next few days! You know what you need to do, I'm sure you'll be OK!

I'm taking the time to go meet an old friend/coworker for lunch today. I welcome this sort of distraction

Wishing everyone a great day, I will be back later!
Lav

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Hi Lil - cross posting again!!!!

[sdlovespackers]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Quick post...I'll be back in a bit...Dill, I agree...we have come sooooo far....so, so far and we can't forget that or not be silently (if that's how we choose to do it) proud of ourselves. I'm TOTALLY like you though!! This past weekend...I only drank around my family so they wouldn't 'know' I was struggling and the ones that do know I'm trying to quit wouldn't think I was trying to quit because I had a problem. UGH!!! This whole damn thing takes too much time and energy...I just want to be in a place that I don't care what anyone thinks and I'm confident enough to say to anyone I don't drink, I don't want to drink, I don't need to drink and I don't care what y'all think about it!! :H I'm truely guesing most people would think it takes a pretty strong person though...because it truely does!! I still have al in my house from this weekend...I drank last night (cuz it's there)...I just need it to be gone and for things to get back to normal and for me to get more af tome under my belt. I like that MUCH better and I know you do too!! Just remember that!!! Enjoy your day!!! I'm at school
SD:l

[savon19]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

HI Determinators - I haven't been on this thread since I didn't qualify for an AF Dec. But I DO have 11 days!

I was thinking you should start an Award Thread for those of you who made it all the way through Dec. completely AF!!

Also, Lil - wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your daughter. I experienced the same thing about a year & half ago (my bf died suddenly of a heart attack). The pain is too hard to describe, but you can tell your daughter that the pain will Not last forever. Even though it seems like it at the time.

My brother had a very good description: It's like when you throw a rock in a pond, and there's a Huge splash, and then there are large waves... that become smaller and smaller... until the pond is calm again. Somehow, visualizing that helped me.

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Savon, that's a good idea about the Award Thread, but I won't qualify for it, sadly.

Hey, Lav, I forgot to tell you, I like your idea of having a virtual New Year's Eve party here on the December thread. I'll bring the a cheese ball and some crackers. I am sending some extra prayers up for you to get through this Christmas. I know how worried you are about it, but I am confident you will do just fine!

SD, I'm sorry you are working today. Don't you get a break at this time of year? My last day was Dec. 18 and I don't go back until January 4th. About that alc still around the house, maybe you should just pour it out or give it away. If it's there, you know you will drinkk it! The only thing I can keep here in the house without drinking it is beer. It just doesn't appeal to me. But even with beer, if I do drink one just to be "sociable" I will then feel compelled to drink 5-6! Geesh!

Dill-When I told my girls I wouldn't have any al in the house, they never gave it a second thought. I was surprised to realize that I was the only one who was worried about not having anything to drink.

Lil, I think if I don't have any alc in the house but just don't mention it, everyone else will be fine about it. It is only I that feels compelled to have wine. I still envy you being so up front about it. It makes it so much simpler if everyone knows where you stand.

Cyn, I hope Mr. Tree is safely back home by now!

Red have a great visit with your son! And speaking of smells that say "It's Christmas": for me it is home-baked sugar cookies. Mmmmm!

Hello Sooty, MM, and LBH.:wavin:

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Hello! I missed checking in with your posts last night, it is amazing how attached I am to all of you. I was so exhausted it was all I could do to make a bleary eyed appearance with the drink tracker. I did have a lovely surreal drive again yesterday to work. There was a thirty mile or so stretch of open rolling grassland with big mountains in the distance and a huge icy sky, and I ?raced? with a freight train for a while as the radio played the Scottish Royal Orchestra performing ?The Holly and the Ivy?.

So good to come back and find you here also, Savvy, I hope you consider a thirty day effort with us in the January AF Jubilee, Jackpot, Joy, Journey or whatever the heck it ends up being called. Sorry you were by yourself for a while on the thread, Sooty, I always see you here whether I am or not, and to echo Lil, ?wheat bag??. You hold tight, Lav, and meet the stressors of this time and especially the ugliness of your impaired brother with the calm, sober, elegance that is you. I loved hearing about your homeopathic vet, Cyn, and join in with Red on fostering whatever enhancing atmosphere and vibration that ripples from our little houses into the world. Dill, I did not mean to blurt out that I was quitting drinking, my poor long suffering unconscious was just trying to help me perhaps and the whole thing was more like Dr. Strangelove and his hand :H. I am by nature far more with you and SD and prefer a quiet approach where nobody knows what I am up to . Enjoy your son, Red, and Hi MM and Sheri. I am so glad that you are back, Lil, and settling in. It takes a while to remember we are still alive and reclaim our spot in the changed world. Love, Ladybird.

[sooty]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Hi gang lovely to see you all.
Lil and LBH "wheat bag" refers to a cloth bag, filled with wheat which you put in the microwave for 3 minutes and then apply to whichever bit of you is aching. Lav was thinking of buying one to ease her bad neck a while ago and I told her that I used to make them .... does that solve your curiousity my friends?
Had another busy day and haven't managed to get on till now (its 8.30 p.m.in Sootyland). Its still v v cold, and needless to say roads and airports are in chaos.
Christmas is coming faster and faster, even tho I think I've got everything done I keep getting these feelings of panic that I've forgotten something ... and then think that I should go out and buy more food ... crazy as the shops are only closed for 2 days!!!!!
Right going to do some more wrapping before picking daughter up later - have a good Tuesday everyone .... its humpday tomorrow - hooooooray

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Hello! I missed checking in with your posts last night, it is amazing how attached I am to all of you.

LBH the feeling is mutual!:h I enjoy riding along in the truck with you, looking at the landscape and sky. I was wondering today what color the truck is. My first guess would be black.

Sooty, The wheat bags sound so soothing! Hmm, I bet as I am typing this it is already dream time in Sootyland!

I have been reading Eric Clapton's autobiography today. Very interesting. I enjoyed reading about his boyhood and teen years. I am just at the point where he has checked in to a rehab and has gone through withdrawal from alc.

Back to my book now! Peace and strength to all.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Evening friends,

Nearly 10 pm - long, long day for some reason including some 'emergency babysitting' which is always a joy. I'm just realizing now that tomorrow is my daughter's 3rd wedding anniversary.....I've been too focused on Christmas & everything else!

Dill (love your new Christmas tree) & everyone else who listened to my moaning about my brother......thank you! I was worried about getting through the holiday season AF - well after being the recipient of his paranoid, delusional, drunken rantings for the past week - there is no way in hell I will go near a drop of AL! I was never mean & nasty like that when I was drinking just kind of sloppy I guess. I will never again open myself to the possibility of becoming offensive to others because of AL!

Greetings to Sooty, LBH, SD, Lil, Red, Savvy - glad you're here & everyone else!

I think I'll make hummus for the virtual New Years Eve Party with lots of fresh veggies

Wishing everyone a peaceful, restful night!
Lav

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Night all (morning Sooty!). It's late - I have been trying to pack up 5 days worth of travel in a carry-on...Have decided that I will brave the Nebraska ice and snow storm...can't bear the thought of my Mom on her own for Christmas. ( Thanks, Dill, Mr Tree finally arrived home this morning - only 48 hours late!)

I echo LBH; I am always conscious of everybody here - I think about you during the day, even when I'm not able to check in. Lav - I wa going to call my friends in WI and ask them if their hens were OK in the snow, and then tell them about your hens....then I couldn't figure out how I would explain how I know you, and, so, I didn't ask! It's sort of strange but very wonderful to have such a shining group to go to for expression and respite. Thank goodness!

For anyone who is having craving issues out there - I found something in the Monthly AF Toolbox that really has meant alot to me: it's about the neocortex part of the brain vs. the 'animal' part of the brain. (Can anyone provide a link to the post? Sorry I'm not more adept.) It says the animal part of the brain truly believes that we will die if we don't have alcohol. The neocortex knows that this is not true. The trick is understanding the animal craving brain for what it is - just fear. (Anyway, that's what I took away from the post!). It has really helped me the past few days, separating out and setting aside that desire that is so sneeky and insistent.

Lav - you sound great - I know that you will stay strong, and will have a superb Christmas.

Savon - great job on 11 days - keep it up!

To everyone - thanks for guarding the light with such determination - sweet dreams -
Cyn



I'm off first thing in the morning, but am taking a netbook in hopes that I can stay connected.

[lilmea]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Happy Hump Day Sooty and everyone.

Savon-Hello and thank you for your kind thoughts. Time does heal all wounds doesn't it?

SD-Glad things are getting back to normal for you. I am beginning to love my old, dull routine.

LHB-I used the drink tracker when I first started here. Don't forget to give yourself some 'rewards' Is it to late for a manicure for the holidays?

Hi to Dil, Lav, Sheri, MM, Chops, Red, and anyone else to follow.

Cyn-I hope you have safe travels and don't get snowed in anywhere. Isn't there another storm brewing out where you are going? Hope you can check in.

I have become 'attached' to all of you as well and miss you when I can't 'talk' to you. I have mentioned a forum where I talk to people about various topics to my oldest daughter, nothing real specific. Once, while I was out there for the funeral, things got a little stressful (there was an X-wife involved. They had been divorced for 10 yrs. What was she even doing there?) Anyway, my oldest daughter told me she would set up her laptop if I wanted to 'check in' with my friends on my forum. Kids pick up more than we realize.

busy day here. My oldest is coming home tomorrow to spend Christmas with us so lots of cooking (sugar cookies) going on here to day.

[redhibiscus]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

I am really stressed. It was great to read your posts. Dill, I did the same thing, bought wine and then drank it. I cannot believe how unreasonable I was to buy the booze. I now have it in the house and hope company drinks it up quickly. Really, no one would care if I had it or not. It is just habit to have it around for entertaining, holidays,etc.

My company arrived last night, and I had a hard time sleeping. I was AF, but my son always stresses me out as he struggles financially. He was very thin, and admitted he has not had much food lately. I cannot believe he did not call us. So, I am trying to fatten him up and thinking of ways to make sure he has food. He makes a little over minimum wage, and I do not know how he manages. Well, know I do, he skimps on food. I will buy him a Walmart Card often, and hope he spends it wisely. Thanks for listening, I am beside myself. Not a good place to be.

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Greetings All!

I was up late last night reading the Clapton autobiography and then searching for his music on youtube. At one point in the book he was going down for the second time to his alc addiction and he had a moment of clarity even through the haze of alc as to just how low, corrupt and devoid of meaning his life had become. At that moment, he wrote this song (performed here years into his recovery and with of all people, Pavarotti! Really beatiful.):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ziHZoCnyfs[/video]]YouTube - Holy Mother

Red, hang in there! We can do this. I must tell you I share your distress over your son. My son also struggles to make ends meet. This economy is taking a toll. I wish our "leaders" would quit their partison bickering and do something right for the nation and not for their own personal interests and power.

Cyn, I don't know what post you mean or I'd provide a link. Here's how, if you want to do it: Find the post you mean to point us to. Go up to the right hand corner of the page and click on "Display Modes". Choose Hybrid. On the left a window will appear that shows a list of names of those who have posted. Find the name of the person that posted the info you want us to see. Click on their name in that window. It should take you to their post. Then, to make the link:

1. go to the address line at the top of the page. (you know "http://www,etc").
2. click and drag your cursor across to highlight the whole thing.
3. copy it (look under "EDIT" button and click on 'copy')
4. open up a post window in our December thread.
5. paste it. (look under "EDIT" button anc click 'paste')

Hope that helps!

LBH, Soots, MM, Lil, Lav, Savvy, SD, Chops, Pnutty One (please come back), Peace and strength!

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

Good morning all Determinators!

Cyn, I wish you safe travels! I'm sure your Mom will be happy to see you. My Mom has been gone for 23 years - I'm still missing her! I did actually lose one of my hens this week......I think it was just her time. The rest of the flock is looking hearty! I am seriously determined & feeling confident I will sale thru the holidays unscathed

Lil, I'm glad you are part of our powehouse group! Have fun filling your home with the scent of sugar cookies today

Red, I'm wishing you much strength! Let's not let stress take charge this week. I think we all have something in common - worrying about our kids in this crappy economy. My kids are here often for 'Free Food' I always try to send them home with plenty of leftovers as well

Dill, I'll have to look for Eric Clapton's book. I've always loved his music - so wrapped around the tragedies of his life. I love a good book that keeps me up reading into the wee hours of the morning

Well, I need to do some housework, more baking, more gift wrapping, etc., etc., etc.!
Have a great Humpday Ms. Sooty & everyone!
Lav

[savon19]

December Determination ~ AF ~Week 3

WOW - I stayed off this thread (as with the other monthly ones), because I was drinking at beginning of month... so thought it would be hypocritical to come here.

But, what a GREAT group of people on this thread!

I wrote on another thread that Sometimes goals are good for me, sometimes not. I've been doing it ODAT... but now as I'm closing in on Two weeks - I figure I have to make it at least that long!!

Haven't done a whole month since Aug. I know the Best idea is for me to quit Forever - but I just can't go there... yet.

Thanks, guys, for making me feel welcome - even tho I don't "Qualify"!

And a Merry Christmas to ALL!