new here

[pscb123]

been checking out this site for a while... finally decided to register. i know i need help but cant/dont want to go to anyone in real life i guess. 30 years old... and have been a problem drinker for about 10 years. wish i could stop or be more moderate, but I dont know how. hate myself for drinkin the way I do. I did have a quite a bit if beers tonight, which is usuall for a weekend. Started at 4:30 this afternoon and still drinkin a beer at 3:00 am as i type. Sucks, just wish i had a healthy lifestyle, and I know i am stronger than this but I always seem to fall back to this. i really get down on myselsf the way i drink sometimes and the problems it causese me and in turn probably cause me to go to it even more. tough cycle. if i have a tough day or feel really bad about myself which is alot lately.... i cant wait to pound some beers or whatever i have. Its been in the family, which i have been made well aware of all the time. my parents were ok for the most part, def drank but both their parents- fathers were not the best. never really got the true stories but knew they were alcholics and knew my parents had a tough time growing up with that. leaves me wondering what they actually had to see and go through growing up since i dont know the stories. - Always been told to watch myself with the booze cause it runs deep in the family but kind seems like i am predestined to be like this. I hope not. my mothers two brothers both drank heavily and both lost their lives in the past 5 years due to it. I drink normally (responsibly) around my family, which is good for the small kids(no mine), but none of nmy family know how bad my problem really is, like when i am alone sometimes its not good at all. I know its a serious problem but dont want to dislose them. week after week i want to better myself but i never seem to be able to. feel like such a failure. not really sure what i am looking for here since its my first time writing anything. any words of support would really help i think. i just dont want to hurt myself or more importantly someone else from my destructive behavior. does anyone else feel like this?

[startingover]

new here

Hiya PSCB, firstly welcome to you.
I think your story is so very similar to many of ours. Drinking that has escalated and is now causing problems and by the same token we use it to avoid our problems. Its a viscous circle.
Good for you for realising you need to deal with this while you are still young. Thats sometimes very hard to admit.
Well, there is light at the end of the tunnel, many of us here have sobered up using the tools and support of this forum, so you can too :-)
Have you seen the toolbox thread?

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

This should give you a few ideas to put a plan together and give you some inspiration too.

Keep on talking though, it really helps

[mario]

new here

hi and welcome pscb, this is a fine community with lots of help and support,keep reading the posts and threads and you will see that you are not alone.hope you stick around and join in,wheather you are moderating/controlling your drinking or abstaining.you have absolutly nothing to lose by being here and everything to gain.

[mel09]

new here

Hi. I have a drinking history on both sides of my family too. There's a possibility that some people may be predisposed in a way, but I see several components being involved in developing a drinking problem, determining the outcome. What I like about following a holistic program such as MWO is that it addresses more than just one component. Some holistic programs are complicated and difficult to follow but this one isn't. The tool box covers the things you can do to overcome early cravings very well. Another suggestion is maybe see a doctor to discuss an entire plan and options, that was my starting point. Welcome to MWO.

[lilmea]

new here

welcome pscb-you have been given some good advice in the above posts. And you have taken an important first step by posting here. Keep reading, posting and ask any questions you have.

[savon19]

new here

HI PSCB - and Welcome!

Your post shows you have the Desire which is THE starting point. Along with Awareness that drinking has become a problem.

I think most all would agree that the next step is a SMALL goal. Which is usually... ONE day. Maybe try joining in on the ODAT thread (One Day at a Time).

You could post in morning of your intention, then post at night to say you Did It. (There are no rules on that thread - that's just an idea.) It helps to put things in writing and have some accountability.

I am (ah hem!) quite a bit older than you are. Also was told that there's a family history... but did I listen?? It's Great that you're grabbing the bull by its horns so young. WOW - you have the chance to have a wonderful life... and Remembering it!!

Go for it.

[Lavande]

new here

Hi PSCB,

I am the same age as Savvy in the above post!
My kids are 29 & 32. They've witnessed me, a once perfectly happy & healthy individual fall into a fairly serious depression about 10 years ago. I tried, stupidly, to drink my way out of it - obviously it didn't work. Rx antidepressants didn't help at all. I finally found an herbal supplement that took care of my near debilitating anxiety & resulting depression. Once that was done I was able to entirely quit - that was nearly 9 months ago!

We learn these destructive behaviors - we can unlearn them too! We do this by substituting healthy behaviors for the destructive ones. The Tool box is full of good ideas to help you get started. If you can, get the Hypnotherapy CDs as well. They were very helpful for me!

Wishing you the best on your journey & please feel free to stop in the 'Newbies Nest' thread. We will be happy to provide you with the support you need to meet your goals

Lav

[stirly-girly]

new here

Hi PSCB and :welcome: from me, too.
I'm fairly new to MWO and I want to tell you that you have come to a positive place. You say that you "don't want to go to anyone in real life." That is completely understandable. Most of us who have a problem with alcohol are ashamed to admit it and find it very difficult to talk to others about it, especially to our family. We're afraid that we will be rejected, that no one will understand. Here at MWO, you have found a place where you can hide behind your computer screen, but still bare your soul. Share your problem with people who know exactly what you're talking about. Many people here are just where you are right now. Struggling to understand their problem and trying to find a way to take the first steps toward confronting it and overcoming it.
Don't beat yourself up about about having a drinking problem. You didn't ask to have it. It is said that alcohol addiction is hereditary, although apparently it has never been proven. From what I have heard and what I have read from many members, alcoholism is something that runs in their family. My one grandfather was an alcoholic as was his son and several of his grandchildren. On the other side of the family, both my aunt and uncle were alcoholics. So lets just say, some of the bad genes definitely get passed down through the generations.
There are many kinds of help available here at MWO. The posts above mention the books, the cd's and supplements, etc. etc. My advice is that you read about those things to better understand which can help you. But read as many posts as you can, too. There you will find the thoughts of the people here who have been where you are and have gotten help and are now in control. They have faced their problem and are taking steps every day to live a positive, healthy life. Perhaps in their words, you will find the incentive to try to turn things around and to stop following the negative path that you are now on. You admit you have a problem and you have joined MWO. Those are two positive steps that you have already taken. One step at a time, one day at a time, it can be done. You're young. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Best of luck to you and again, welcome to MWO.
Stirly

[aspman]

new here

Hi pscb :welcome: from me and :goodjob: on finding this place. I lurked around the edges with a beer(or 20 ) in hand for over a year befor taking the plunge, best thing i ever did. you can do it! dont be to suprised if some peeps in your family have an idea of your woes, it can be hard to bring up. some of my family breathed a huge sigh of releif when i tentativly told em i was gunna try to mod. then they told me all the things id said and done that i didnt remember... whet a shock!

anyway :welcome: again and keep reading/posting. this place has saved lives im sure.

[dancelot]

new here

Welcome, pscb -

As said before, so many people here can relate to your situation. You can talk openly with others who understand what you are going through, with tons of support and without judging. I found it a huge relief just to be able to do that, and it is so much easier to get and stay sober with some support on your side. Between that and the tools and making a plan, I feel more confident than ever that I can stay AF.

I wish you much success on the journey. Much love!

[savon19]

new here

Hey Lavande! Thanks for not posting our exact ages... although saying you have a 32 y.o. child kinda gives it away... :H

[Lavande]

new here

I just had a birthday yesterday Savvy - I'm 29, sure you are too :H

[savon19]

new here

:bday3: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAVANDE!!

(Belated!)

Lessee, mine's next month, so I guess that means I'm only 28!!

[Prom night]

new here

I too am new to this site and am terrified that i won't be able to stop this crazy negative drinking that just keeps me depressed, in a state of dread and shame. I have to face this or else it's going to kill me. I am a functioning alcoholic altho am unemployed which adds to the desire to just start drinking around noon to get rid of my anxiety. Good luck to you. We need the support and hopefully can find it here on this site. I too don't want to go to any person - but it might be necessary.

[pscb123]

new here

thanks to all for your encouraging words, it is much appreciated. It certainly helps to know that I am not the only one going through this. I know this is going to be a hard thing to do especially now around the holidays. Just hope I dont have too many setbacks.