Desperate...

[jerri 2765]

Drinking at 5:00 am...am I going to make it to work..can't sleep!? Went to bed at 10 with my baby girl (she's 10) after about 5 beers...of course, I told her it was only 3!! Wanted to have a good day today...just can't stop with the beer. My life is SO stressful...like everyone else's in their own way!!! No money, trouble paying rent....no child support, college, two jobs...just turned 41 and I want to fix this NOW! Want to run on the beach again, want to be 'clear headed' ALL of the time, not just part time. Bought the campral...seemed to work at first, then stopped.....I'M SCARED!! I love my kids SO MUCH and feel like I'm walking a tightrope and and going to fall off. Live in a small community...everyone loves me and the kids...no one would EVER imagine....I've posted like three times in the last 15 minutes since I found this forum....sound like 'poor pitiful me'...but I'm SO lucky. I have the best kids in the whole world. ...just so stressed all the time about money....wish I could afford the whole program....

any other ideas?:new:

[aerogirl]

Desperate...

Hi Jerri! :welcome: I have only been on this site for a few weeks but it has made the biggest difference in my life, I used to drink way too much all the time, every night and all weekend. Then one night a few weeks ago I went out and drank so much I woke up in the morning with a black eye, and I have no idea how I got it, it has only just faded and it is nearly 4 weeks ago. I decided that day that something had to change. Then I found this site, and everyone here, they are all so supportive, and no one judges you, because they have all been there. So I hope you hang around here and get to meet everybody, because it makes such a difference just knowing you are not alone. I am on the other side of the world (Australia) and I feel like I have friends I can reach out and touch here. Just don't give up, because you can do what you set your mind to!!! :l

[Quiescent]

Desperate...

Hi Jerri,

Do you have insurance or any sort? If you can get a doctor to prescribe the medication and you have and you have prescription insurance, maybe you can get the topamax that way?

Keep posting and let us know!

You've found a very supportive community:l

[jerri 2765]

Desperate...

thanks for replies

felt so alone last night....ok..I'm going to try today. One day at a time...

No, no insurance...and feel really uncomfortable talking to doc about it because I live in a really small community where everyone knows everyone! The doctor is also a friend...kinda weird...

I'll stay on here...let you know how I'm doing...

Jerri

[jerri 2765]

Desperate...

topomax?

what is the difference between that and campral?

[Chris]

Desperate...

Jerri

I dont know if it helps you, but Jerri I have similar problems with money, just on a different scale. I own my own business and although it makes plenty of money, I spend just as much money to keep it floating. I am in the middle of a divorce, feeling like I am afraid to go to the mail box because I dont want to see what disconnection notice is in there each day. I have problems sleeping every single night, so I started taking sleep medication, but that only makes me pass out and then wake up too soon. I also started at 5am this morning with a beer. The one thing that I HAVE done has been able to keep liquor out of the house. The point is Jerri, if nothing else know that you are NOT alone.

My concern is not actually about the amount that I drink at night, it is the fact that it is the first thing I put in my mouth when I wake up. I think that should be the starting point for both of us. I am trying to convince myself that I have to face facts and just say, it is what it is and the anxieties of life can not be the trigger to make me do this anymore. I would like to try with you just not having something in the morning, if you would like to try it with me. Granted, I know what will happen already with the anxiety and sweating, etc. But I would like to do it with you if you are willing.

[mojomuppet]

Desperate...

jerri where do you live,wondering about what time your 5:00 in the morning is to me?

[Jennifer]

Desperate...

Jerri - Good for you!

Good Morning Jerri,

You can do it! Yesterday was my first day here. I found everyone here to be really supportive and I even found someone to partner up with and try to get through it together. I woke up yesterday knowing that this was the day I had to make a change. I am so glad I found this site. I did have a drink last night, but only one! Beer has also been my drink of choice. I also live in a smally community where support is limited and of course no one knows! Only those closest to me and they are in as much denial as I have been for the last 20 years. I just wanted to find some place to go where people understand and would actually listen. This is that place. You CAN DO IT, we all can.

Jennifer

[Jennifer]

Desperate...

No meds

Currently I am not taking any meds. I have the book the supplements and determination. I will have to do the best I can with what I have.

[sujul]

Desperate...

Welcome Newbies!

Ding Dong, there aren't just 3 of you with the same problem--we're ALL here with the same problem! That makes 100's of us!! Keep on reading, check out all the threads and you'll see lots and lots of similar stories....

I, too, was drinking at 5am (usually wine, sometimes vodka as well)--and also at 10am, 3pm, 2am, etc., etc....I was drinking all the time! 3-4 bottles of wine a day, plus the extra pint of so of vodka here and there...it was truly a version of hell...

I've now been abstinent for 5 1/2 months....so, I encourage you to check out this program and make it work for you! For me, THE most important part is coming online and checking in with everyone--right now, I'm on the monthly abstinence thread the most because moderation is not an option for me (tried and failed too many times), but there's also a thriving "community" on the moderation thread...

This is a great place for support! Great to see you here!
:h
best, susan