Im on my last chance before rock bottem

[Janbev]

Hi All

I really am on my last chance before I loose my job and my friends. I hoping that I can meet people on this site with the same or similar problems. I drink to forget, i recently got treated quite badly by a man, was it him or was it me though, why do i attract men that feel they can treat me in that way. I would like to think i have a lot to offer but maybe not,if i didnt drink, im sure i would be a better person. I say and do some awful things when drunk, actually not just drunk, WASTED!! Im on my last chance at work, they are so supportive and care about me deeply but they can just not tolerate me any longer embarressing them.

What is it, why do I think this time I drink will be fine, I lost my driving licence, have had a car accident, that should be enough for someone but oh no i just keep on drinking. I have lost partners and nearly my children and family. They have seen me blotto, sick, crying and pathetic!! I have physically fought and brought my family to desperation. I ruined my sisters wedding, I once left my children alone a few years ago for 2 days and went on a bender, when your in that state all you want is the next drink

The organisation are desperate for me to sort myself out, they have picked me up from the gutter, I have been arrested, abused them etc etc etc and now they are paying for me to have therapy in the hope i will sort myself out. I have had chance after chance and I am on my last one!!!

I dont wake up everyday and think of having a drink but when i do I cant stop and self harm in a way that gives me so bad attention, then extreme anxiety. I cant sleep and have trouble eating and at present just cant generally get motivated for life.

My son and Daughter are desperate for me to be the Mum I am a small percent of the time, i feel im abnormal and not like other people, why cant I just have a few beers and a giggle like others?

I get drunk, I do bad things, I then get drunk to forget what I have done and cause another guilty feeling. I have done this now for 25 years since I was 14 years old, enough is enough!!!! but then something happens and I think oh just this time it will be ok having a drink, it never ever is.

I had my work xmas party last night, i was fine apparently but very drunk, as was everyone but it had such a different meaning for me, i had promised myself that i would be the perfect manager hostess but one drink and my mind set changes, i hate it!!! i justify that i can have another drink and then im the last one drinking, alone.

I have so much i really do, but if im not careful im going to have nothing and know that my family only have a certain amount of love and tolerence to give me, until they say I just cant help you anymore Jan.

I want to get up tomorrow, feel blessed with all that I have and not have a drink and manage to drive home, stop at the supermarket and walk past the booze isle!!!!!!

Ahh i dont know, my head is a shed

Jan

[Tulipe]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Hi Jan,
Good for you for coming here and posting. It sounds like you have put yourself through a lot. Have you thought putting together a plan for going AF? How much are you drinking?

[JackieClaire]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

:welcome: Janbev,

I feel for you. I really do.

You've just made a huge step today by just asking for help.

You're in a good safe place now, where no-one judges. We've all walked in your shoes at one time or another.

Read the posts, then read some more. Don't be afraid to ask any questions.

Pop into the 'Newbies Nest' and say hello.

We're all in this together.

J x

:l

[jessie]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Hi Jan,
Most of us relate - me definitely. Have you tried any of the medications. Get RJ's book and read it. This site keeps giving me hope. Someone once said she/he finds the idea of never, ever having another drink frightening and untolerable - guess what, increasingly I find the idea of never having another drink liberating and a relieve.
PM me if you want.

[aspman]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Hi janbev, this is a very safe place to tell you fears/hopes and read the same of others.
the tool box has many helpfull tips and ideas.You said you are going into theripy, any trips to a GP planed?

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

take care and good luck, im sure you can do it!:goodjob:

[stirly-girly]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Jan again:welcome:to MWO.You have come to the right place to get help. This is a safe place and has lots of information about the things here that can help you understand your problem and work towards overcoming it. There are books and cd's and supplements available to help you get through the withdrawal symptom, the cravings, night sweats, etc. By reading the posts you will realize that there are many people in your situation. You are not alone. By reading the posts and writing as well you will find other people who have had similar situations as yourself and are now AF (alcohol free) or are moderating their consumption. By reading as much as you can and post questions you may have, you will learn what will be right for you. Make a plan and stick to it. Write down what sets your drinking off - the triggers. Be honest. Write down a few of the worst times you've had when drinking and what you did at those times. Print it on a paper and read it when you feel tempted to drink. Tell yourself you could put yourself in the position of doing something like that again. Write down some of the things you could conquer if you were sober everyday. Stronger, healthier and sober. I hope you find what you need here and that you are able to turn your life around and get healthier and happier. I also sent you a private message. Wishing you all the best...
Stirly

[Janbev]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Tulipe;778228 wrote: Hi Jan,
Good for you for coming here and posting. It sounds like you have put yourself through a lot. Have you thought putting together a plan for going AF? How much are you drinking?

Hi can you suggest a plan for me? i dont drink every day but when i do i drink till i pass out

[hart]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

(((Jan)))) :welcome:

Glad you found us. It does sound like you have had some rough times, and you don't want to lose your job, not many employers would be as supportive as the one you have. And think, what will you say to the next perspective employer about why you left?

I am going alcohol free, starting 1/1/10. I have done it before and since my hubby is doing it with me, I know I can do it, and MUST. My job is not in danger, only because I have been doing it so long I could do it in my sleep. But I have lost the zest for living I used to have and I don't want to continue this half life.

I will be taking Campral, prescribed by my doc. It worked for me before and I need all the help I can get.

I have found the hardest part is to change my habits. I am used to stopping on the way home getting beer, then basically drinking the rest of the nite.

Instead I will busy myself with activities, I have a lot of chores that need doing, and with my daily drinking I have let a lot of stuff go. I used to do a lot of things I haven't been and I know I will enjoy myself when I start doing them again.

So Welcome and maybe we can be AF buddies.

[JackieClaire]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Janbev;778244 wrote: Hi can you suggest a plan for me? i dont drink every day but when i do i drink till i pass out

Hi again Jan,

Just bumped the tool box up for you. It may give you an idea how to start your plan.

:l

[Janbev]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

hart;778245 wrote: (((Jan)))) :welcome:

Glad you found us. It does sound like you have had some rough times, and you don't want to lose your job, not many employers would be as supportive as the one you have. And think, what will you say to the next perspective employer about why you left?

I am going alcohol free, starting 1/1/10. I have done it before and since my hubby is doing it with me, I know I can do it, and MUST. My job is not in danger, only because I have been doing it so long I could do it in my sleep. But I have lost the zest for living I used to have and I don't want to continue this half life.

I will be taking Campral, prescribed by my doc. It worked for me before and I need all the help I can get.

I have found the hardest part is to change my habits. I am used to stopping on the way home getting beer, then basically drinking the rest of the nite.

Instead I will busy myself with activities, I have a lot of chores that need doing, and with my daily drinking I have let a lot of stuff go. I used to do a lot of things I haven't been and I know I will enjoy myself when I start doing them again.

So Welcome and maybe we can be AF buddies.

Hi buddies would be brilliant, i find it so comforting that im not judged. Habit is the thing, i justify having a drink each day because i feel guilty, i do nothing, i get home, i quickly cook the kids tea and all the ideas I have of what im going to do fails because i have a beer, then 2 and then sod it i didnt need to do it today anyway.

Thats fantastic that you have been AF for nearly 3 months, that inspires me greatly.

Like you say, what would i say to my next employer, it wont happen with the job i do and i need to sort this now, i hate it each time something happens and then time goes by and then bam Jan does it again!!!

[Janbev]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

JackieClaire;778249 wrote: Hi again Jan,

Just bumped the tool box up for you. It may give you an idea how to start your plan.

:l

Thank you, i will have a look now

[redhibiscus]

Im on my last chance before rock bottem

Welcome JB. Hope you find the toolbox helpful, I surely did. Also, alot of people start out trying one day at a time ODAT alcohol free AF. I am the same way. I do not drink every day but when I do, I often cannot stop, the true sign of addiction. You know, one is too many, a thousand is not enough? That's me for sure. See if you can string a few AF days together, ODAT. We are here for you and now you have a place you can come for support and encouragement. Good luck, sending you strength and hope.