December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

[lilmea]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Once in a blue moon there is one on New Year's Eve. Revelers ringing in 2010 will be treated to a so-called blue moon. According to popular definition, a blue moon is the second full moon in a month. But don't expect it to be blue

A 'blue moon' only occurs every 19 yrs on New Years. How special is this for all of us striving to make this our first af New Years? It's only appropriate though, as I consider all of you on here very special indeed.

Dill, Soots, Lav, Red, MM, SD, Cyn, LHB, Sped, everyone have a great af HUMP DAY!

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.--Will Rogers

Hi friends! What a nice way to start the day! Reading last evening's and this morning's posts is always good, whether they are full of positivitly (like today's) or angst and regret. Just knowing that you are with me in this sincere effort to regain our God given inalienable right: freedom. Together we will fight and win the fight against the tyranny of alcohol.

LBH, I love your story about meeting the friends that went on about how beautiful you look! I have not yet had that happen, and may never, but if I ever do, you can be absolutely assured that I will share that here!:H You mention Lord Birdheart as low manintenance. I was wondering if he ever comments on you "new" self? Surely having gone through 20 years sober, he know what you are dealing with. And on the other side of that, I was wondering, when he got sober, did he do it quietly or with fanfare?

SD, our sleeping beauty! Catch up on that rest. It's cleansing, isn't it? All the stresses of the past week are being washed away. Speaking of that, this would be a good time to listen to that clearing CD, eh? I lent it to someone though. I'll see if I can get it back.

Red, I have been an empty nester for a decade now. It was difficult at first but has now become an enjoyable state. Still, I wish in my daughter's case that it didn't mean such a distance! She is in New Orleans, which is about an 18 hour drive. My son just moved to the area and is just 20 minutes away. It's very nice, especially since he has been so far away for so long! It is really great that long distance telephoning isn't the big deal it once was for us.

Lav, I am so glad the winds have died down! The wind kept blowing down my little live Christmas tree in it's pot on my front step. It is bitter cold, but that can be tolerated better without the wind, eh? I am so happy for you that you have that Christmas Eve done and dusted. You sound like you have already begun to heal.

Lil, have you come up with a different idea for a time for our "party"? Maybe later in the day, say around 5 or 6 Ohio time? Sooty, let us know if what would be good for you. It sounds like most of us are flexible.

I got a food dehydrator for Christmas from my son. I used it last night to dehydrate some mushrooms. It worked like a charm. I am going to be trying it on some fruit, as we were given an abundance of fresh fruits this Christmas.


Might, Sped, Cyn, Pnut (come back), Hello. Hope you are doing well this cold day.

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Good morning friends,

Slept much better last night, no wind rattling the house & windows! Very, very hilly though!

Going to my daughter & son-in-law's today t ohelp them with a house project. They are getting ready to put up the Sale sign ~ hope all goes well

Dill, Mr Lav treated himself to a food dehydrator this summer - we dehydrated some cherry tomatoes from the garden - yum, delicious! The mushrooms are good too. We buy them in 3 lb. boxes from the local growers.

Have to get myself together & get going. Wishing everyone a good HumpDay!
I'll be back.

Lav

[cyntree]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

A Cautionary Tale
Dill, thanks for that quote, I really needed it today. After doing rather well recently, I blew it on Monday night, and had a ghastly day yesterday. I've just been awake for an hour in bed, trying to figure out how to write to you all, and finally figured out that I should just get up and write. This behaviour came really out of the blue, was so fast and so lethal that I don't even remember thinking about it. So I have been trying to dissect it a little...and what do I come up with? A clear pattern emerges that I could have seen from a mile away, but I had just gotten out of the habit of being watchful.
Was I at a low blood suger moment? Yes. Had I spent a week eating food full of sugar and refined wheat? Yes. Was I throwing myself into a difficult work schedule after being gone, and did I feel overwhelmed? Yes. Was I taking my vitamins, kudzu regularly? No. Was I in physical pain from traveling? Yes. Is it my pattern to drink when I come home from a trip? Yes. Did I post on Monday before jumping into work, did I conciously state my plan to remain AF for the day? No. Hmmmm....yep, a pretty clear recipe for disaster.

My previous work was in the field of performing arts, and it struck me this morning that how a great production would happen was to practice, practice, practice. Not just 'say' it was going to be a great production, and then hope for the best. So I'm changing my thinking about the process of being AF - now I'm committing myself to consciously practicing all the things that are going to ensure a contented AF life.

To all of you Brave Hearts out there - thank you from the bottom of my heart for breaking the isolation. Dill, I'll follow this post anywhere you take it, and I think January Just Do It sounds great for the name of our next production.

Take care of your lovely selves today ---

[spedteach]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Good morning,
Have been thinking about why I like this thread so much and part of it is that it is so personalized. People specifically respond to what other people say.
Red and Lil, thanks so much for talking about the empty nest issue. Having them home is wonderful but then their leaving is always so hard. Red, has your son left? Then you must be exercising!
LBH, I tried to shop yesterday but ended up with a bunch of store credits. Just have to be in the right mood. Did end up with a good cup of coffee and fine conversation with one of my sons.
Speaking of moods, mine are all over the place, up, down, that roller coaster thing. I always get this way with some sobriety under my belt. Am learning to trust that no matter what mood I find myself in, it's not going to last too long. Just hang on for the ride.
I am definitely up for a New Year's Eve rendezvous. Like you Lav, stayin home and not minding a bit.
Shelley

[mighty mouse]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Good late morning to you all, Everyone sounds positive and ready to keep up the fight or regain it. Great!!

SD, I too slept alot the last day and a half and now feel much better.

Red, Hubby is not looking so bad again. I was getting scared for a while, but a few days with no AL and I'm seeing clearer again. Even if it is not the same volume as I used to have it really effects my mood and energy level.

Cyn, Glad to hear from you. Thanks for telling your story. All those same things get to me. I forgot about the food affect and holiday food and sweets, I never eat like that. I am going to be more vigilant today and eat healthy again. The mom in me keeps wanting to make sure we eat up the left overs!! no more for me. Practice, Practice, Practice

Lbh, I was looking better for a while. That is a great perk! My fist is back in the air!

Lil, Blue moon, so special...I'll take that as a sign.

Lav, Your farm and family sounds so sweet. I have your whole place pictured in my head.

Dill, As always, loved and needed that quote. Thanks

Hi Sooty and anyone else. have a strong day. I'll check in later, :h MM

[mighty mouse]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Hi Shelley! must have crossed post. sorry I missed you

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

This is definitely a good group and I have a confession to make. I was just too ashamed and embarrassed to admit it at first, but I succumbed to the pressure yet again and lost a battle (not the war) on Monday. I don't feel right keeping it secret, yet I am so ashamed to tell it. This holiday season has gotten the better of me I guess. The thing is, it happened AFTER the fact. It was the let down time after all the festivities that got me...I was alone, no one would know, etc. Well, I knew. And now you know. Thanks for keeping me honest. Cyn and Red, I couldn't let you hang out there and not admit my own failure, too. But I learned from it and it has made me stronger and more determined. That's why I am working at the 'commitment' piece. It was not enjoyable or worth it in any way.:headbanger: Cyn, I liked your reminder about practice. I am reminded of the saying: Practice makes perfect. Let's hope!!!

OK. Onward and upward.

Lil, thanks for the info on the blue moon. That is so awesome! It's probably been longer than a blue moon since I've seen a sober New Year's Eve! This will be special, especially shared with all of you.:h

[choppersmom]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Hey all! Been a long time since I have posted, but I have been reading the thread and trying to keep up with everyone! I think of you all each and every day. I haven't posted as I have been enjoying my time with family and enjoying my break from school work. It has been absolute bliss!

We had a surprise snow storm here yesterday. Traffic was absolutely crippled. It took me four hours to go two miles.... :H :H :H Thankfully my sister lives in the town that I work in, and I was able to stay there for the night. If not, I may have still been on the road as I type this!

It looks like everyone had a great Christmas! Here's to a fabulous New Year for everyone as well.

I better get back to work now. Today is my Friday...ahhhh...a four-day weekend! I'll pop in later to say hello.

:l :l

[ladybirdheart]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

That was such a thoughtful post, Cyn, it is helping me a lot. When I see a ballerina leap into space or an actor takes me to a place in my psyche I wasn?t sure was there, it seems so effortless, all of the endless steps and preparations and practices disappear. For me and all of us here who tend to be placid on the surface, it is often not obvious how really hard not drinking is. Thank you!

Dill, Lord Bird Heart was living a couple of thousand miles away when he got sober, but knowing him, it was subtle and self-contained. He is a remarkably wise fellow and has always been completely detached from my addiction, whether I am on my fourth gin martini or sober over a month. I think he knows it is out of his power either way so he makes it none of his business other than to let me know obliquely that he loves and supports me, period. What a gentleman.

It?s indeed once in a blue moon, Lil. Last night I could not sleep (again), and when I awoke for the last time at three with the (almost) full moon in my eyes, I spent the rest of the time riding along with Tony Soprano. Could have been worse:H. Hi Shelley, Red, Sooty, Lav and MM! Shelley, your being here is great as like Lil you have had a big chunk of AF time before and know how things can get off track after what seems like a done deal. We all need to learn how to get through this for the long haul. Thank you for sticking around. Dill, I am like you; if I drink again I know I will be alone, "after the fact". That's what I always preferred. A secret little drunk (both me and the activity). It is great to have you back Chops! Love, Ladybird.

[lilmea]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Dill- Just thought we would see what would be good for Sooty and everyone else. I think Soots said she had New Years Eve day open. MM has something in the evening though. Ideas everyone? I am really pretty open both days as my plans got changed.

Hello Chops-I love it when you drop in!

[sooty]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Hi gang, happy humpday. Been busy all day and more internet connection difficulties tonight, so frustrating.
Lovely to hear you all sounding so strong - and i hope the virtual party goes with a bang tomorrow.
I really am not going to make it even if we change the time - I'm rather fed up but heard about an hour ago that we have more visitors coming so the day is going to be rather hectic for me from lunchtime onwards which is when you lot are waking up. I am disappointed but hope that we'll be able to do it another time - perhaps at a weekend if folks are working?
I will be thinking about you as I have been all day today. Its 9.30 p.m. here and I'm going to go to bed early cos I have a lot to do tomorrow!
Happy New Years Eve everyone - if I don't see you tomorrow I'll see you in 2010
You really are the best
Loads of love from your friend
Sooty

[spedteach]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Cyn, Dill and Red I so appreciate your honesty. LBH was right. Not drinking for people like us is hard. I can say with almost complete certainty that if I weren't on Antabuse, I would be drinking today. Nothing terrible happened, just a loose ends kind of day, taking down some decorations, trying to get my sons to clean out their closets, get rid of some of those baseball cards and Pearl Jam cds. Lots of 20 something kids in and out all day. Eating food I gladly make them, playing guitars, watching football. It sounds great but this is the kind of day that I would have had a secret bottle of wine hidden upstairs for me to periodically nip at. Oh lordy, I am such an alcoholic. Now I'm upstairs sending my little message instead of taking that little nip. And like you said Dill, that nip would neither be enjoyable or worth it.
LBH, just wanted to say Lord Bird Heart sounds like he's got his head screwed on right.
A big thank you from upstairs.
Shelley

[dill]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Shelley, I think you may be my lost twin!:H Yes, I had the bottle upstairs, too, in my sewing room! Oh, and one in the kitchen for cooking time...Yep. Shelley what age 'range' are you in? I am 57. I should have quit years ago, but it wasn't causing me any external or obvious problems until a year and a half ago when Mr. Dill said he was very unhappy and didn't know if he could stick it out. He basically wanted his wife back. We didn't argue or anything like that. I just was not "there" every single night. He could not rely on me past 6:00 every evening. And I knew I was going nowhere but down. So, I started the process of quitting. I didn't join MWO until January 1st, when I woke up with a horrible hangover to start my new year, in spite of my promises to myself that I would be sober on New Year's Eve.

Anyway, tomorrow, 3:00 Ohio time (Eastern Standard) is the time. It will be fun if we can all be online at the same time!

Good night everyone!

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ AF ~ Week 4

Hi friends,

Had a busy day myself, winding down now I think!

Cyn, Dill & Red - no matter what happened the fact that you are still here is encouraging. To me it means that your goals have not changed & if you just keep trying........you'll get there
Please just don't ever give up trying! IF you do I'll have to unleash some Lavan-itude on you & you really, really don't want me to do that!!