having trouble coping

[Doggygirl]

having trouble coping

Hi Danny. Welcome to MWO (I'm a little late to the party!) and congratulations on your sober days. That is fabulous progress!

I just wanted to comment on drinking friends. In order for me to stay sober, I MUST MUST MUST make sobriety my #1 committment each and every day. That is just as true for me today as it was on May 22, 2008 - my first sober day after my last drink. It gets a little easier with time, but I can never afford to let down my guard.

A lot of my old drinking habits had to go. And that included hanging out with friends who are drinking. My true friends understood. Anyone who DIDN'T understand why I could hang out with drinkers wasn't a friend I could afford to keep in my life.

Many of us alkies are "people pleasers" and we have a difficult time saying "no." I've had to learn when to say no, and how to do it guilt free because I just HAVE to in order to stay sober.

I can also relate to your need to stay busy. I'm the same way. Initially keeping a move on all the time helped me NOT think about drinking. Over time, I've developed new interests and activities in life, so that spirit of momentum still serves me well in a new and active life style. (I don't want to even think about how many total mintues, hours, days and years I spent just sitting on my butt drinking - whether that was with friends, strangers, or completely alone!)

Enjoy your time with your Dad. I bet he will be thrilled to share with you some really good wisdom on how he has stayed sober for 22 years. Listen to and emulate the people who have what you want.

Strength and hope to you!!

DG

[openheart]

having trouble coping

Great post, DG--lots of really good stuff in there. Gonna bookmark it--thanks!
Open

[Zeppie2]

having trouble coping

If they truely are your friends Danny - they will understand and be fine with you not drinking. I got hassled when I first became AF so I just said I was having a month off the grog, now 4 1/2 months later no one cares that I am not drinking when I go out and mostly are pleased that they have a sober driver

Just take the time you need until you are comfortable in your own sober skin again before attempting any nights out with drinking friends.

Well done on your 7 days AF - congrats

[openheart]

having trouble coping

This one's easy for me--I have no friends! :H (Present company excluded of course!)

[tawnywitch]

having trouble coping

Hi Dirty danny, just seen your post, havent been around much this christmas, glad you found us, we all understand what you feel just hang in here it must get better, love and hugs Tawnywitch

[willow20]

having trouble coping

did u guys use the topomax and supplements?

[openheart]

having trouble coping

Hi Willow20--Not the Topo, but when I started out last August, I did get Kudzu, Gaba, L Glut and the hypnosis CD's. I felt like I completely needed to stack the deck in my favor. I have used them on occasion, but not regularly. Mostly when I feel like I need to take SOMETHING to get through the moment, or in anticipation of cravings.

I know that's not how supplements work (gotta take 'em regular like), but I think since my addiction is more emotional and mental than physical (thank goodness--though w/ over a bottle of wine a night I was certainly on the path of physical addiction, too).

The most helpful thing for me was the MWO book and of course, this site.

Open

[dirtdanny29]

having trouble coping

thanx everyone and openheart you have a friend now. Last night i had a good night went to work it was going good. however i had a moment that bothered me christmas was my last day of drinking and i got hammered bad. now that i'm sober i was upset because i have a 5 yr old and i don't remember a thing and it hurt to think that i have to see her christmas and other important days in the past thru the eyes of a camera and that sucks. i no i shouldn't dwell on it but look forward to the future but from time to time it hurt knowing i missed so much. i've only missed drinking a month in ten years and my 18 yr old stepson that i'm the dad too since his father died at the age 5 came to me and i still love you dad no matter what we can make it thru this and that made me feel great. as for taking something i take campral it helps but makes my vision little blurred thanx for being here everyone my dad should be here soon.

[Doggygirl]

having trouble coping

Hi Willow. For me, I used the program exactly as written EXCEPT for the Topomax. I was leery about what I read here about side affects, and I just personally have an aversion to prescription medication. (maybe in my heart I knew that two addictions - AL and nicotine - were enough!)

I do believe the supplements really help. If you are looking for some backup reading material on nutritional / amino acid deficiencies and their impact, Julia Ross has written a couple of interesting books - the Diet Cure and the Mood Cure.

I know of nothing that is a "magic solution" that will magically wipe out the desire to drink with no pain or effort, and/or no side effects. It takes work and a solid plan no matter what, IMO.

Strength and hope to you,

DG