Ok this is me..

[JackieClaire]

Ok this is me..

Hi lis,

You're doing sooo well.

Everyone of us goes through these stages and I know this is uncomfortable for you. There will be good days, great days and bad days.

As for shouting at your daughter. I still rant at her but by text these days. (she's 23 !)

Tomorrow is another day. You know if you have a drink today you'll feel utter crap tomorrow.

J x

:l

[leaveinsilence]

Ok this is me..

Thanks, I know it's an every day thing yelling at your kids and believe me here it's the norm but it was the ferocity I screamed at her with, my throat is still sore and I scared myself never mind how it felt for her to be on the receiving end of it... poor little mite..

Right now I just want to hide from the world I think it might be a good idea before I yell anymore...

I've come too far too blow it by loosing it completely and having that drink I need so much.

[Audrey14]

Ok this is me..

Hi!!! I know... The 3th day is very tough..In last two years i was only 4 days sober in the week.. it's the maximum..Now i can afford wine only 1 - 2 days..But i hope to quit..Still.. And you will do too..

[stirly-girly]

Ok this is me..

leaveinsilence;797281 wrote: Thanks, I know it's an every day thing yelling at your kids and believe me here it's the norm but it was the ferocity I screamed at her with, my throat is still sore and I scared myself never mind how it felt for her to be on the receiving end of it... poor little mite..

Right now I just want to hide from the world I think it might be a good idea before I yell anymore...

I've come too far too blow it by loosing it completely and having that drink I need so much.

Leave, you know you can do it. These feelings are temporary. They will pass. Instead of concentrating on how you feel, why don't you think of something to do with your daughter that would kind of make up for your hollering at her this morning. Something that just the two of you could do...make cookies, work on a puzzle, watch a DVD. Anything to show her you're sorry and to get your mind off AL and how you feel. Jackie's right - if you drink tonight you will feel like crap (and more) tomorrow. Be strong...(See you in chat if you want to. Just let me know)
Stirly:l

[Hippy Chick]

Ok this is me..

Hi LIS.
You are feeling guilty about yelling at your daughter (and boy do I understand that guilt... seems to come with being a mum hey!) but just imagine how guilty you will feel if you pick up that bottle.
I think a big reason I feel guilty when I yell at my kids now is because I can actually remember doing now. I would do it when in black out (which was often) and not remember doing it but have to deal with the silent treatment from the kids and not know why....
Take care and go easy on yourself.
HC

[leaveinsilence]

Ok this is me..

Well somehow I've made it to 12 AF, Still can't quite believe it, I've never gotten past day 10 in my life before and that was only once, usually I crack at day 3.. but I'm here after an enotional almost 2 weeks..

Today at dinner I'd almost finished eating before I noticed my husband was drinking wine with his meal and a little later I was doing temp tattoos with my girls when I suddenly realised his bottle of wine was right next to me on the table, usually I would have finished the bottle off but I honestly had not noticed the thing was there.

Found some nice little positive things too over the last week, just little things like this weeks recyling, none of the empties were mine, I can open my wardrobe with out worrying about my spare bottles tumbing out, I'm sober Mom at school collection time now:l and I've been making the most of the kids bedtimes now, snuggling and reading with them without thinking about my next glass of wine.

My friend wants us to arrange a night out and even though I'm a little nervous about failing and drinking whilst we're in town, I'm looking forward to having an AF night out with her, last time we wnet out I got so drunk I don't remember anything from part way through our meal until waking up the following morning...

[Jane Thompson]

Ok this is me..

Hi leaveinsilence - my husband thinks I'm overreacting by going AF - he doesn't think I have a problem, but we have been enabling each other to drink too much for years. The alchol doesn't seem to bother him - he can stop when he wants or needs to but he's more comfortable if I'm drinking with him. You are right to keep focussed on your children - my eldest is 13 and getting interested in drinking - how can I tell them that they shouldn't touch the stuff when we go through 1-2 bottles of wine each evening? I think my problems were started in a way by beginning to drink way too early in a house where there was easy access to booze: knowing this, how can I repeat the same pattern in my family? I've tried abstinance and moderation many times over the years - but now I have questioning vulnerable children who I really need to think of before me and my cravings. This is how I've, sold it to my husband this time - there is no counter argument to that so, once my head is clearer and I've been AF for a while I hope I can keep that focus and keep away from the edge of the hole!

[Doggygirl]

Ok this is me..

Leave, congrats on your 12 days AF! That is awesome. The early days can be so difficult!

Given your great progress and from the sound of it, desire to remain AF for now, I hope it's OK if I throw some food for thought out there regarding the night out with your friend. Maybe you could plan something to do that does NOT revolve around drinking. Rather than a restaurant or bar, maybe go to a movie or something like that. And in my own journey to sobriety, I have to put my sobriety first and if I am not ready to be around certain people or situations just yet, I decline. NOTHING is worth putting my sobriety at risk. True friends understand, and the other kind will fade into the sunset anyway.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[sick of being sick]

Ok this is me..

Doggygirl

Doggygirl;798519 wrote: Leave, congrats on your 12 days AF! That is awesome. The early days can be so difficult!

Given your great progress and from the sound of it, desire to remain AF for now, I hope it's OK if I throw some food for thought out there regarding the night out with your friend. Maybe you could plan something to do that does NOT revolve around drinking. Rather than a restaurant or bar, maybe go to a movie or something like that. And in my own journey to sobriety, I have to put my sobriety first and if I am not ready to be around certain people or situations just yet, I decline. NOTHING is worth putting my sobriety at risk. True friends understand, and the other kind will fade into the sunset anyway.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

From: sick of being sick: Doggygirl, I wish I could talk to you! I need someone who has been there and cn encourage me through these first few weeks! :new:

[sick of being sick]

Ok this is me..

My husband drinks twice as much as me and it doesn't seem to bother him, but he becomes very mean and loud after a few drinks. He starts at 4:00 and passes out by 7:00 after much fighting so we really don't get to spend much quality time together. I am a diabetic and I have got to stop drinking because I get so sick. I have drank over a fifth of vodka every night for 5 years! This is my 5th day sober and tonight is REALLY hard for me. I wish someone would talk to me.

[leaveinsilence]

Ok this is me..

Jane Thompson;798513 wrote: Hi leaveinsilence - my husband thinks I'm overreacting by going AF - he doesn't think I have a problem, but we have been enabling each other to drink too much for years. The alchol doesn't seem to bother him - he can stop when he wants or needs to but he's more comfortable if I'm drinking with him. You are right to keep focussed on your children - my eldest is 13 and getting interested in drinking - how can I tell them that they shouldn't touch the stuff when we go through 1-2 bottles of wine each evening? I think my problems were started in a way by beginning to drink way too early in a house where there was easy access to booze: knowing this, how can I repeat the same pattern in my family? I've tried abstinance and moderation many times over the years - but now I have questioning vulnerable children who I really need to think of before me and my cravings. This is how I've, sold it to my husband this time - there is no counter argument to that so, once my head is clearer and I've been AF for a while I hope I can keep that focus and keep away from the edge of the hole!

Sounds like we're in similar situations , my h/b is the same well apart from he's said before that I have a problem, he doesn't seem to need to drink to excess the way I do, but he likes me drinking too..

I was bought up in a household where my partents would give me the odd drink here and there when I was young, then letting me have what was as they thought relatively harmless stuff like Martini and lemonade when I was a little older but by 13 I was adding Vodka to that mix.. coming here made me realise that I will never be able to moderate, so it was time to stop deluding myself on that score.

My eldest is 12 almost and she has friends who drink, luckily at the moment she is anti drink, at first I thouht she was just being a good girl but I now know it's her seeing me the way I am thats probably made her like that, but you know in another couple of years she could easily go the other way and think Mom drinks so why shouldn't I ?

Like you said how can we let the pattern repeat it's self with our children. I don't want my kids to be like me. We have our focus now, we just need to stick with it:l

[leaveinsilence]

Ok this is me..

sick of being sick;798524 wrote: My husband drinks twice as much as me and it doesn't seem to bother him, but he becomes very mean and loud after a few drinks. He starts at 4:00 and passes out by 7:00 after much fighting so we really don't get to spend much quality time together. I am a diabetic and I have got to stop drinking because I get so sick. I have drank over a fifth of vodka every night for 5 years! This is my 5th day sober and tonight is REALLY hard for me. I wish someone would talk to me.

Sick of being sick, PM for you sweetie:l

[leaveinsilence]

Ok this is me..

Doggygirl;798519 wrote: Leave, congrats on your 12 days AF! That is awesome. The early days can be so difficult!

Given your great progress and from the sound of it, desire to remain AF for now, I hope it's OK if I throw some food for thought out there regarding the night out with your friend. Maybe you could plan something to do that does NOT revolve around drinking. Rather than a restaurant or bar, maybe go to a movie or something like that. And in my own journey to sobriety, I have to put my sobriety first and if I am not ready to be around certain people or situations just yet, I decline. NOTHING is worth putting my sobriety at risk. True friends understand, and the other kind will fade into the sunset anyway.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

Yeah those first few days were hard especially the weekend but this weekend doesn't seem so daunting

Thanks, I understand what you're saying, and I AM actually avoiding a night out with some friends for that reason, as I know I'll be tempted to have just the one and I know what will happen, it'll be just another and another and....you all know the rest

This friend though she doesn't feel the need to drink and drink and drink on a night out it's always me who gets into that state, in fact I wonder why she lets herself be seen in public with me sometimes Anyway I know if I say I just want soft drinks she won't push it and she'll only have a couple of bacardis herself, I know I don't need to drink to have a good time.. I just need to remember that for the first trip to the bar...

[Jolie]

Ok this is me..

Leave - been reading through your thread - you are doing an awesome job with so many obstacles in your way. I, like you, used to think I needed the AL to have fun or basically just socialize. I would drink before social functions so it wouldn't look like I was drinking a lot when I was out. Just keep telling yourself how great you feel in the mornings - this was a big one for me - waking up every morning feeling guilty and full of self-hatred - not good thoughts to have. You have been so strong so far - keep going! Keep posting and reading - I truly admire you for standing up to your husband even though he keeps trying to make it harder for you. Luckily I don't have that problem as my husband rarely drinks. Hope you have a wonderful weekend - stay strong and remember that we are all in this together!

[mollyka]

Ok this is me..

Leave and Doggy, I have become a little bit of a hermit in the interest of being AF. All my friends drink, most not to excess but seem nearly suspicious of people who don't. I remember a few years ago when I first tried to give up going out with a group of my girlfriends and being mortified in my sobriety by their loudness( which I would have been as loud and louder than with al) and rather rude teasing of a young male waiter to the extent of involuntarily uttering "shh", I was then asked why did I come. This time round I am determined not to put myself in those situations anymore to the extent if I need new friends - so be it!!