Here I go again...

[BUNNY]

Hello to all,

I have been trying to post my first message but have not been very successful.. So here I go again. I am a 42 year old female mother of 2 children 9 and 6 who are the absolute sunshine of my life! I have had an issue with alcohol now for quite a few years. I drink for all the wrong reasons, especially boredom... can`t quite image having to prepare dinner without my little pick me up glass of vino, or clean up after or prepare the kiddies lunches.... pretty pathetic right.............. I come from a loving family, but a family who drinks too much especially my father.. I have considered going to a therapist but am too afraid of the outcome. I was abused as a child and have little memories of my early childhood and I don`t really think I need to remember these moments at this point in my life (what`s buried should probably stay buried...) I don`t blame my parents for not seeing what was going on, I just want to be able to get better control of my life in order to be a better mom. I drink on average 1 bottle of vodka a week plus 1 or 2 bottles of wine so a good 3 to 5 drinks a night. yuck! I`m not looking fo someone to blame, I just need help...... I want to be a role model for my kids and right now i`m not.

[Cinders]

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Bunny,

:welcome:

I wish you much strength on your journey. It is one worth taking.

I know the habit of wanting that glass of wine or that drink while doing things. The habit alone can be hard to overcome.

But I do want to add that while you are way over the recommended limits of drinking at this point, it can get much worse. I recall fondly the days when I could drink a few a night and be happy.

In my case, it got much worse than that over time. Much, much worse.

If there is any way you can stop it now, you will save yourself and your family an incredible amount of pain.

Figure out how you want to attack this and go for it. Refine when you need to and never give up.

Cindi

[Mazzie]

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:welcome: Bunny

You're on the right track. There's lots of good stuff here to read and help and support when needed. Giving up al is not easy but so so worth it - for you and your rays of sunshine! I have finally got it through my head that I should never have another drink and I am really happy and OK with that. It took me a long time and a lot of empty bottles, heartache and misery to come to that place but I hope to never go back.

This takes considerable thought really to get yourself a plan that will work for you and lots of determination and resolve to implement it every day or even every minute sometimes.
But you can do it!!!

[jessie]

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:welcome:Hi Bunny,
Cinders are so right, you don't have to first hit absolute bottom before you turn around. You are at 3-5 per day now - but this is a progressive disease and you will eventualy get to 9-12 or more a day. And see the disappointment and shame in your childrens eyes.
Mazzie, I'm adding your words as another mantra to my list...I should never have another drink and I'm really happy and OK with that...
Thank you.

[BUNNY]

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Thank you all for your kind words. You are all so right, I have to turn this around before it gets completely out of hand. I will make it a habit to check in here on a regular basis as I know that being able to talk to someone about this will definitely help me. I'm tired of this dirty little secret I carry. It's time to get my life back. Once again THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Bunny

[Lavande]

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Hi Bunny,

Welcome back!

You can do this! Arm yourself & prepare for the fight! Sit down & revise your plan. Look in the Tool box for good ideas. Ridding the house of any & all AL is a must! Change your routines, distract yourself. I found out that it IS possible to cook dinner without a glass of wine in hand!!! My favorite substitute is now decaf green tea, a very healthy alternative

Get a few AF days under your belt & you will be amazed how great you feel! No more shame or guilt, no more hangovers, improved sleep.....the list is huge!

Wishing you the best on your journey! Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread & let us know how you're doing.

Lav

[tawnywitch]

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Bunny I know how you feel, I ama mother of lot's of children and drink to alleviatestress, boredom any reason really, day 1 again for me today, determined to get to at least day4 this time, come to chat later I will be there a lot today, stay strong, Tawnywitch xx

[BUNNY]

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Thanks guys!

You're already inspiring me, I think I will try AF today. Will keep you posted on my results.
Wish me luck!

By the way, I have started L-Glutamine and just ordered Allen Carr's The easy way to stop drinking (Hope it works!)

[leaveinsilence]

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Hi Bunny

I understand you, I'm a Mom of three, only instead of doing what I should have done like you are now, I let it just get worse and worse.. to the point where I was matching my drinking to the kids school hours.. you know working out how much I could drink before a certain time and then be sober enough (In my mind that is) to collect them and whatever, before that lovely drink before cooking dinner etc..etc..

I realised the truth and I'm now on AF3, you're doing the right thing by confronting this now before it gets any further, keep strong honey.. I'll be in chat too later if you need anything:l

[BUNNY]

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Did it!

First day behind me, will try for no. 2, anybody want to join me? For today anyway

Take care all
Bunny

[Chillgirl]

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Bunny! Well done, its a great feeling and just gets better.

Until Jan i was drinking 2 bottles of wine every night starting habitually as i made dinner...
I have now managed 21 day AF and im feeling fantastic! At 1st its hard to break the old patterns but it amazing how quickly a new norn takes over and instead of reaching for the fridge I now put on the kettle.

Wishing you strength...

[leaveinsilence]

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Well done you :goodjob::goodjob:

Just think to how you did it yesterday and you'll get through today:l

[BUNNY]

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You're right, I have to break this habit. Yesterday, I made dinner in record time (thank god for microwaves) and stuck in my work-out video. You know, the one I bought 3 months ago, still in the box. Exercised for 30 minutes, was able to sit down with the kids and do some real homework. Had them tucked in bed by 8:00 and started reading Allen Carr's book which arrived today. For the first time in I can't remember when, I feel really motivated and you guys are truly helping. It is so amazing to have someone to talk to about this.....

[Chillgirl]

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Bunny, I used the Allen Carr method to stop smoking many years ago and also this time with AL, if you really use his method it works and its much more positive and fun than thinking you are doing without something... So happy to hear you are feeling motivated!

[Camrock]

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I'm not one to give advice here as I have 3-5 drink before noon, but I did quit when I was your age, and then I started again cause somebody suggested that I could. Biggest mistake of my life!!! I've had a lot of head-on heartaches in the last few years and I've handled them by self-medicating. Would not have been true if I had stayed sober all those years. My resolve is also much worse this time. When my husband told me to stop or he was leaving 10 years ago I felt like I'd been run over by a bus. I stopped immediately and never looked back. Now when he says it, I think - see ya!!! How pathetic is that?!?
Good luck to you. I wish I knew then what I know now.