This Is Not Easy!!!!

[MommyDearest72]

Right now its 9:37 and it's Saturday...Im bored, lonely and feel like I have a lump in my throat as if Im about to cry because I WANT to drink some beer and have a man come over and "make' me feel better....Not that it ever really works because usually the next morning I abhor them and myself...God just let this pass. I feel like I'm being "left-out"...It's f%6*n Saturday- no kids, alittle extra cash in my pockets. I dont want to take another bath. I cant believe Im going through all of these emotions for something that I hate so much. I guess it goes hand in hand with all the other abusive and self dprecating things I have done to myself.... I want to cry- but I dont know why...Now the tears are falling-And have stoped because my 16yr old just came...I'll finish later. I feel bad because I dont want her around me right now.

[rosepetal]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

I have been there....

i have been where you have been many times over. if it makes you feel better i am home alone to and just trying to keep myself busy on the puter. why don't you go our for coffee or tea with someone just to talk. sometimes it helps just to get out and be with people.:l

[jessie]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

:lHi Mommydearest
Keep reading and posting, there are a lot of advice here. Do you have any support from family and friends on quiting alcohol? How many days have you done AF, or are you still trying? The depressions and self remorse - most of us relate just too well. There are many success stories, and as the days AF pile up you will feel better and better Alcohol makes depression so much worse.
PM me if you need to.

[suzycaboo]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

Saturday night

MommyDearest72;795201 wrote: Right now its 9:37 and it's Saturday...Im bored, lonely and feel like I have a lump in my throat as if Im about to cry because I WANT to drink some beer and have a man come over and "make' me feel better....Not that it ever really works because usually the next morning I abhor them and myself...God just let this pass. I feel like I'm being "left-out"...It's f%6*n Saturday- no kids, alittle extra cash in my pockets. I dont want to take another bath. I cant believe Im going through all of these emotions for something that I hate so much. I guess it goes hand in hand with all the other abusive and self dprecating things I have done to myself.... I want to cry- but I dont know why...Now the tears are falling-And have stoped because my 16yr old just came...I'll finish later. I feel bad because I dont want her around me right now.

Your body is dextoxing by the sounds of it. It feels boring because we don't know how to live without booze. That's what we need to 'learn,' is how to live and boy I sure agree with you...it is not easy. There are books out there about how to live the first year of being sober. Google on Amazon and you might find something to help you out. Anyway, I've just jumped in here and saw your post. :new: Take good care, and yes, it will pass.

[Lavande]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

Hi MommyDearest, rosepetal & suzycaboo,

Welcome to MWO, all of you!
Hi jessie!

The first few days are the hardest! This is why you need a solid plan to help you get through!

Go to the Monthly Abstinence section & look in the Tool box for good ideas!
The trick is to keep yourself distracted, stay busy with other things. You have to tell yourself, regardless of how you're feeling that drinking is not an option! It won't help - it won't make things better.

Keep yourselves well hydrated with lots of water & tea, go out & take a walk, get some fresh air, eat something good, watch a movie, read a book.......anything!
If you have the Hypnotherapy CDs, now is the time to use them. You will feel much, much better when you get a few AF days under your belt, I promise.

Most of all, don't feel sorry for yourselves, it doesn't help. You are not missing anything by not drinking tonight or tomorrow. You are paving the way to a new & improved life. Drop in the Newbies Nest thread, let us know how you are doing, OK?

Wishing you all the best! You can do it

Lav

[MommyDearest72]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

I got through that last hour!!!

Thanks Lav, rosepetal and all who repled to my posting...I got through the last hour !!Whew, but I still feel left out..But for now I'll say:goodjob: to me. The nights almost over and I'm going to stay here until my eyes close. Thank you all for lending me your ears-well eyes. I didnt tell anyone except my aunt whose been inrecovery for 3 years. Im afraid to because if I fail it'll just be that- I failed.

[openheart]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

Hiya MommieD--You've gotten great advice here--good for you for posting. I can completely relate to the emotional wringer we put ourselves through with this alc battle. Treat yourself kindly--just like you would your child or a close friend you deeply care about. What would you say to them? How would you comfort them? Do the same for yourself and hang in there.
Hugs and strength to you--Openheart

[KateH1]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

Welcome to all of you....glad that you posted and are working through this! You will be glad that you did!

Mommy Dearest, you are not really being left out, you are beginning a new life, one without the regrets that you speak of. As lavende already said, you are going through withdrawls and it sucks big time! But, know that this will last but a short time. Please do check out the Tool Box thread and read some in the Monthly Abs threads to see what you have to look forward to!

Please come back tonight and post some more, perhaps join chat and talk to someone here....Don't give up....you have come so far already! Please come back tomorrow and post some more.....we are here to support and help you.

Best Wishes
Kate

[MommyDearest72]

This Is Not Easy!!!!

It's almost another hour(11:30) I'm getting sleepy-thats good cause I diddnt sleep well last night.Thank you!!!!!!!! Im going to check out Tool Box now.