I have finally plucked up the courage to post after taking a keen interest for a couple of months now. In a nutshell my story is not unlike many many others here.
I am now into my thirties and am beginning to take a good look at my life and how I have spent my twenties - mostly being wild and drinking far far too much. Both my parents died suddenly when I was 20 - it was a huge shock. They both died within 6 months of each other and my dad committed suicide. I loved them both dearly and they were the best parents ever. I have a wonderful sister and a loving aunty. To be honest I have been gradually getting more and more dependent on alcohol throughout the years following the tragedies. However despite the booze my life hasn't suffered too much as a result YET. I know it could be better and i could be a far better mummy to my children if i was without it. I am now very happily married with two children (11months and 3). I'm happy, have found ways of coping with my grief and am starting to 'come out of the fog' of having two children under three. I have my own very successful business and work very hard and long hours. We don't have any family or very close friends nearby (we are both living four-five hours away from our home towns). I am starting to realise that the old vino although I love it is starting to hamper my love of life, motivation and most importantly, my time with the kids at the weekends. My weekends are so so precious and although I am an expert at not allowing the hangover to obviously affect me, if I'm honest it does. I have a big list of things I want to do for me, to be a better mother - start running again, get back into various hobbies, not be constantly looking at the clock waiting for 7pm, bedtime to crack open a bottle. My husband and i are as bad as each other and although we manage not to drink mon-fri I can't stop going OTT at the weekends. I know deep down that I will be unable to moderate as I've tried so many times in the past...... so here I am - goal is to give it up really....! hello and thanks for unknowingly helping me reach this big decision! i want to be 40 and look back on my 30s and my time being a mummy as the best decade of my life. i know this can only happen without the booze as once i stop i havent got an off switch (1 bottle to myself fri, sat & sometimes sun....) thanks for listening and wish me luck! :new:
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