I want to save my life...

[Audrey14]

:new::new:
Hi to everybody!!! English isn't my native language but i found this site accidentally and i like very much principles of support and welcoming atmosphere here..
I can't speak about my problem with anybody,,even my psychoterapist who i visit rarely because of lack of finanses..Actually i tried but i had shame.. Very stupid but i can 't..And he didn't believed me that i REALLY have a problem..

Shortly - 7 years ago i had a divorce which i tought will be the death of me..And the first problem arose - i started to drink alone..To kill my pain, to forgett, to avoid reality..Maybe once or twice per week but ALONE..It was a step to hell..I drunk only wine..I felt in love with a man who drunk only vodka and so it was getting worse.. Normally with my ex we were having once per week a dinner with 1 bottle of wine for two of us..Now i started to finish 1 bottlle of wine alone while he was drinking vodka.. No, we're drinking not for sorrow, but for joy..I splited up with him, met foreigner man, took my daughter and went abroad with him..Those were 2 great years in my life.. He knew about my problem but still it was more emotional rather physical addiction from wine..To compare my life in post-soviet country now i had normal life conditions and tried to struggle with my problem..My boyfriend helped me a lot..I was doing a lot of fitness, travels, exploration of most beautiful cities of Europe...And tasting exceptionally tasty and expensive wines in Italy, France, Spain.. Unfortunatelly i have very good smell and taste abilities.. I ended up with my man and went back with my daughter to my post-soviet country ..Totally broken..And now really i started to drink..Almost every day.. Last year my mother died..She had vascular dementia and i was hiding my drinking problem.. After funeral i started to drink more..Sometimes not only wine..I have now new relationship, very splendid man and i can't still speak with him about my problem..He is almost non-drinker and i have really fear to loose him, to loose my life..At once i had suicidal toughts..Now i'm taking antidepressants but anyway can't quit drinking... Oh thanks to everybody who will read my huge story...

[mario]

I want to save my life...

Hi and welcome audrey14, you have come to a great community and have taken your first step in your new life,read as many posts and threads as you can,share your thoughts & feelings and you will soon see that you are not alone,You can post anywhere you like but introduce your self to the newbie thread and they will all give you a huge welcome.hope to see you around and get to know you better.goodluck

[Audrey14]

I want to save my life...

Thanks for the first greetings in this site..And i like your citations, especially Scott Fitzgerald..

[Cinders]

I want to save my life...

Audrey,

:welcome:

Your story is so similar to many here. You have come to a very good place. I am glad you found us.

Please read as much as you can, decide a good plan and start working on it.

I hope you can save your life, too. Life without alcohol can be a bit daunting at first, I know very very well, but you are right. If we want to live and we want to live well, we have to remove alcohol from our lives.

Sending you strength for your journey,
Cindi

[Gold]

I want to save my life...

Hello Audrey14 and :welcome:

It sounds as though you have had a challenging seven years with a lot of change and experiences for you. Like many of us alcohol has felt as if it were your support through these difficult times, and the happy times too.

You have come to a point where your drinking is frightening you but finding it difficult to stop. You have come to a good place to help you to change your life for the better and where you will be able to talk about your problem and see that it is one that many share.

There are lots of practical tools to help you as well as support from the community. Have you decided what you want to achieve, for example not to drink at all?

[Marshy]

I want to save my life...

Welcome Audrey!

There's lots of information and support here to help you. You can do it!

[fluff]

I want to save my life...

Hi Audrey- The fact that you came here is the first most important step for getting help! Also, you have a boyfriend that doesn't drink so much and that can be so helpful to one who drinks. Try making today the first day of not drinking-you CAN do it! Baby steps.
Luv, Fluff

[leaveinsilence]

I want to save my life...

Hi honey You're in the right place now, you'll find so much support from everybody here, like Fluff said having a partner who barely drinks will be so helpful.

Hang in there, take tiny steps read as much as you can and ask for help in the chat room if you need it, there is always someone around to help you through:l

Take care

[Twitch]

I want to save my life...

hallo Audrey, welcome, you will find so much support and love here, just take one day at a time, and maybe manage to come to chat, love and hug's Twitch

[clare]

I want to save my life...

hi audrey welcome.great people here,lots of help,go get it

[Audrey14]

I want to save my life...

I'm just crying..I wouldn't receive so many warm words here in my homeland... Here everything is diferent.. I'm so thankful to everybody.. Today i'm drunk.. Not very but plenty enough... I'm women and very good looking.. And i hate myself for doing this because anyway in my age i still look very good but i'm damaging myself.. I'm damaging my life, my career, my relationships..And i'm taking pills which reduce dropsy but they are damaging my liver i know.. My parents were doctors..I still want baby but i know that i'm afraid because of my alcholism..

[rubywillow]

I want to save my life...

Audrey, alcohol problems have no boundaries; not countries, social status, language, age, nothing. To get control of your life takes work, which you have to do, and support, which this site is full of.We all have our stories, our history, our sadness, but here we have a safety net. You've gotten great advice above. Let me add my name to those who want to help you. You need, and deserve, an AL free life. Even desperate situations look better, are easier to deal with, with a clear mind. Call on me anytime.
Ruby

[JackieClaire]

I want to save my life...

Hi Audrey,
Just wanted to add my welcome.
Check in every day. Don't be afraid ,names will soon become familiar.

J x

:l

[Audrey14]

I want to save my life...

Hy, JackieClaire!!! Thanks a lot!!! My boyfriend is coming in 2 days to meet me (we live in different towns..) I will start to be sober tomorrow.. I have to look charming not like a wreck... I have to.. God, please, give me a strenght.. I'm total disaster...

[JackieClaire]

I want to save my life...

Hi again,

Check in in the morning. I'm usually about. I'll look out for you.
J x
:l