Hi Everyone:new: - I've read some of your stories and feel lucky not to have had to face some of the things you have, but also pathetic because I just can't explain my need to drink. My story reads a bit like Roberta Newells' - on the outside everything really is perfect - everyone I know would say I am (and I usually feel) a really 'together' person. I don't need to drink for courage - I often drink less the more sociable or busy I am: I drink when I'm on my own or with my husband/family. God knows why - they are lovely, fantastic people who don't know about the 'extra' drinks I sneak. I've been drinking since I was a student - on and off, sometimes controlled, sometiimes not, but now I feel my health is bound to start suffering and I have to get it under control. If I can do it, today will be my first AF day for over 6mo. I think I need to abstain for a while before I try moderation. I've sent off for the CDs and book - not sure about the meds as it would mean facing up to a doctor - I also really want to 'fix' myself. So, I'll keep reading your stories tonight and try to be kind to myself. In a previous attempt to stop drinking, I found this - I think it's very sad, but sums up how I feel about drinking - I just can't stop falling in the hole!
Autobiography in Five Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
Autobiography in Five Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
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