I'm pissed...

[BUNNY]

No, not drunk, just mad. I cannot believe I spent so many years of my life hating myself. Hating the way I looked, hating being weak and most of all hating the way I could not control myself. Now, with each passing day, I feel stronger but most of all I finally realised that it's not me I need to hate but this god damn F*&^%&^ AL! I don't need it, I don't want it!! It's taken so much away from me, quality time spent with my children and husband. No more... I will no longer be a victim

[Marshy]

I'm pissed...

Good for you Bunny! The time we've wasted, eh?
Onwards & upwards!

[BUNNY]

I'm pissed...

You're so right Marshy, what a terrible waste of a life...

[Chillgirl]

I'm pissed...

Bunny, im so with you on this one!!! Its good to get mad at AL as reinforces how much we dont want to go back there, no time for regrets... just get on with your fabulous AF life and appreciate every moment of it.....

Fav quote of mine by Richard Bach ~ "The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it"

[Jolie]

I'm pissed...

I agree with all! Get mad and learn to look at AL as the bad guy - the enemy - the poison - because that's what it is. Disgusts me to no end when my kids say things like - I already told you that the other day - why don't you remember? I know why I don't remember - they think its old age - either way - we are missing out on life and all the special people around us. Good luck and keep posting!

[BUNNY]

I'm pissed...

I also don't want to hear "I already told you this" and I don't want to hear my little boy tell me "your breath smells bad" when I tuck him in at night. It's time to turn on our bitch switch!

[mollyka]

I'm pissed...

I've started trying to put a face to AL lately, just listening to folks around here talking about it as being poison, the enemy etc. I have a relation I cannot stand, hate, I can go on ........................ I'm gonna let AL have her face every time I crave it ( maybe it will be like craving my hateful relation!!!!!)

[JimBeam911]

I'm pissed...

You have the right attitude, Bunny. I've been feeling the same way myself. For years I used alcohol to solve my problems and, lo and behold, the alcohol became my biggest problem! No matter what kind of mood I was in, I looked upon it as an excuse to get wasted. Lately I've been noticing that even on nights when I've been bored and resisted the urge to drink, my night has been no worse off than when I used to drink to relieve boredom. This is significant for me, as drinking to relieve perceived boredom is my principal weakness with respect to booze. Like you, I'm glad to be directing my anger toward the true culprit of my misfortunes; alcohol.

[BUNNY]

I'm pissed...

You're so right Jimbean, like Allen Carr says in his book, what could be more boring than sitting around in a drunken stupor?

[Guitarista]

I'm pissed...

Hi Bunny, and everyone,
Boring is right! My routine was the same each day. As soon as i woke up. drinking, and drinking and lazing around 'till evening, or 'till i'd pass out. I stopped cause aside from the sapping of my soul, dignity, ability to be there for family/friend's and more, i was just so feckin' bored! What a total waste of our precious time, and it's criminal too, what we do to ourselves, as the day's that turn into year's haze over. For me, this was self abuse, less so alcohol abuse, and i had to change my thinking.
Bunny. The attitude you're displaying, is the one you need, so hold onto it! Check out the 'toolbox' thread.

Bravo!

[Doggygirl]

I'm pissed...

Good attitude Bunny! Sobriety rocks. Alcohol doesn't reduce stress, it creates stress. Alcohol doesn't ease pain, it increases pain. Alcohol doesn't motivate me to get things done, it causes me to procrastinate even more.

Etcetera.

I've heard a couple of Alateen speakers in the last few months, and was amazed to realize how YOUNG these kids are when they totally realize that alcohol is affecting their family lives.

Strength and hope to you!

DG

[allswell]

I'm pissed...

The time factor is so true. When half the day is spent getting over last night's hangover and the other half is spent working on tomorrow mornings hangover there is little time for anything else. I now have plenty of time to do the things I need to get done in addition to time to do the things I want to do. It was never like that before, I always seemed to never have enough time, for anything but drinking that is. It very much is a toxic, poisonous, enemy.

[Chillgirl]

I'm pissed...

I love this thread guys!

I see AL like a bad love affair... at 1st it was fun and exciting, then we took each other for granted, then there were the years when I simlpy endured it, then it became abusive but still I stayed.....
Then destructive and painful, but i was too far down to see a way out and he convinced me I wasnt good enough for anything else.... It became a never ending cycle of grief, sadness and depression but I didnt think I could ever escape... where would I go? What would I do? It was the only life I knew......

And now! Wow, Im free and I see what a loser he was and yes, Im pissed at the wasted years I spend with him. But Im not going to dwell on regrets because I want to celebrate every moment of freedom and not waste another second on that deadbeat.....

[gyco]

I'm pissed...

bunny

BUNNY;798226 wrote: No, not drunk, just mad. I cannot believe I spent so many years of my life hating myself. Hating the way I looked, hating being weak and most of all hating the way I could not control myself. Now, with each passing day, I feel stronger but most of all I finally realised that it's not me I need to hate but this god damn F*&^%&^ AL! I don't need it, I don't want it!! It's taken so much away from me, quality time spent with my children and husband. No more... I will no longer be a victim

hi bunny,i gues all i can say im glad you figured it out b4 its to late congrats gyco

[BUNNY]

I'm pissed...

You`ve got a great point chillgirl. Our relationship with AL is like a bad love affair. It is a physical bust mostly mentaly abusive relationship. It makes us insecure to the point where we feel completely useless, and makes us so dependent on it. A couple of years ago, when my children were just toddlers, I was so depressed that I used to sob on my way to work and thought about runing my car into a tree. I felt like such a failure. I HATED myself yet I had no reason too. I had a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful children, but I now realize it was all because of the booze and the mental turmoil it created in me. I drank to ease my feelings of depression and stress but unknowlingly made things worse. I wish I had found this place back them, it would have saved me a lot of sadness. But now I`ve kicked that loser out the door!