Was not successful last night but hopeful

[stiteal]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Yay Meech, great job!!!

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Well here I am. I can safely say I will wake up tomorrow morning AF for 3 days and 3 nights.

I thought around 5pm I was going to cave. But kept busy and kept saying Day 3 AF, Day 3 AF.

I had some more sparkling Peach and L-Glute, and logged on to read and post and it worked!!!! Plus made sure I ate supper at a "normal" super time". (Not my normal 11pm at night half cut from booze.)

Okay, so my goal this week was 3 Days AF and I did it! Yippeeeee.

Now tomorrow night is when the cooler in the garage gets filled with my favorite - ice cold beer. I wasn't going to have any other goals but I'm REALLY REALLY going to try for 4 Days AF. I seriously haven's done that in over 4 years.

This is HUGE. I don't know if I can do it. I'll try. I did accomplish my first goal this week with the 3-day AF. I'll keep you posted. YIKES! Scared and vulnerable about tomorrow.
Meech

[stiteal]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Meech, you can do this!!! Don't fill the cooler! Read, post, organize, supplement, eat, whatever- you can do this!!! BTW, I expect you to be saying all of this to me this weekend during my witching hours, ha! Seriously, 3AF is HUGE! 4AF is even better- think about it and give it a try!

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Thanks Stiteal,

Unfortunately my hubby is the designated "Beer Guy" for his Wednesday night hockey league so he has to get a cooler full of ice cold beer (for his team) on his way home from work then loads it in the van and off to hockey he goes.

But just before he leaves for hockey I ALWAYS cave, taking 6 out of the hockey cooler and putting them in the fridge. Telling myself "I'll only drink 3 or 4 because I won't really be that hungover..." So why do I put 6 in the frigging fridge then? Because deep down I know that's my golden number where I can pretty much be drunk and then crash.

I know how the story plays out every single stupid time, but I keep saying it might be different tonight. Ridiculous.

So that's usually how my Wednesdays go. So I will try to hang on to your words and everyone elses for tomorrow (Wed).

I can't believe I will even be thinking AF 4 Days. Seems like a miracle. I shall logon tomorrow and try.

Till then I can be happy with my sober self tonight and wake up fresh tomorrow!

[BPleasant]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Tell him to keep the cooler in the car? Does he know you are working on this? I think disclosure might be a better way to go. My not disclosing could be my downfall. UGH! Congrats on day 3!! Sleep well.

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

okay time for a plan

You are so right BPleasant and everyone else who has suggested this.

Tomorrow AF 4 maybe? Time for a plan as it's getting harder.

Plan #1: No Beer for any reason must be in my garage. That's just B##ll Sh87t!

Hubby is a great guy I don't think he realizes just how hard it is for me. But he shall know tomorrow. He wants to be supportive he doesn't think I'm as bad as I am but I know better.

Work on what's been working for the last 3 days!
Signing out for the night and may start a new thread.....
Meech

[BPleasant]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Hubby is a great guy I don't think he realizes just how hard it is for me. But he shall know tomorrow. He wants to be supportive he doesn't think I'm as bad as I am but I know better.

I don't know what to make of this, I live with that too. I live with someone (most of the time) that loves me, that maybe doesn't quite understand the addiction or just doesn't view me as being able to have any ugly affliction. Or, maybe he thinks if I get healthy he won't have me anymore. Good Luck.

[stiteal]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Rock on Meech! Take control of the situation and get it done! You're attitude is very empowering to others (me specifically)! Talk atcha tomorrow!

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

I did it AF4

I posted it already on another thread in general discussion.

But I did it! I really did it to AF4!!

Eventhough the beer did make it into the garage. It was tough but I fought off the cravings.

I find that the first craving of the night is the biggest, loudest one. The other cravings from there are tough but it's like you took a big shot to AL's chops right from the start when it came out punching with both fists.

When it comes out again (that same evening maybe even 30 minutes later) it's a little less fierce. Still strong and wanting to "win in the ring" but a tiny bit less aggressive. Then you shut down the next craving and the AL Fighter really does start to question it's ability to tango with you.

That's what we need to do. As the AL Beast's confidience starts to weaken, just a tiny bit we need to steal it for ourselves. Everyday we can take a bit more confidience for ourselves and strip the AL Beast until it's a pathetic insecure little piece of nothing.

Working on AF5 now. I can't even believe it. Pinch me this can't be real. Will let you know if I succeeded. Thanks for rooting for me!
Meech:jumpwow:

[Doggygirl]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

YOU GO MEECH!!! :yougo:

DG

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

I made it to AF5

I'm so happy with myself I made it to AF5! :happy:

I haven't gone this long without a hangover in years! It was really tough for about a couple of hours and I think I might have even caved if it wasn't for the fact that I had a big snowshoe in the bush and then had to rush off to do a fitness class with Grade 3 children.
I did not want to be hungover for that. Gross.


CRAVINGS HAVE ALREADY STARTED TODAY
I have a lot of fighting to do with the AL beast in my head tonight as I am already getting cravings at it's only 2:20pm. This could be a real rough one.

I have another active morning with work tomorrow then a house full of kids all afternoon so I really can't afford to be hungover tomorrow morning.


Saturday night - It's going to be excrutiating because I don't have to do a thing Sunday until the evening so I know I'm going to struggle with absteining (spelling).

Please send me support, tips, anything because I'm going to really need it the next 3 nights. I can already hear my brain saying "you've done so well time to relax and reward with an ice cold beer" . Yuck even when I say it I think I'm salivating. Damn cursed AL.
:yuk:
Meech

[kimikk]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

Meech;798327 wrote: I managed to fight off a number of cravings but eventually caved last night. I am disappointed at my weakness but hopeful now that I am on this forum. Knowing that I am not alone in this and getting support.

Living in a very small town where everyone knows you and trying to keep up this energetic successful front, is such a lie. I do not want anyone to know in my circle of friends, and community so this forum is where I get my support.

Part of me really has a hard time believing that I can really conquer this. Eventhough many have and many have had it harder or have had deeper struggles than I ... it's hard to believe I can really escape from this hole of alcohol I am living in right now. It's got such a tight grip on me - I hate it for that. I do know that complete abstinence is my only solution.

The one good thing I can take out of last night was I fought off craving for about 4 hours where I would have normally just caved right away. I wish I hadn't caved. Didn't go too hard last night but enough to be disappointed in myself.

This needs to end. Argggghhh and a sigh. argh:

I can totally relate to what you are going through too, I am right there at that point as well, I have about 8 out of 14 days the past 2 weeks, BUT I am looking at the cup 1/2 full and 8 out of 14 is about 8 out of 14 more days than I normally have! just like you caving, just get right back on track and over time you will see that all the time you have been a/f will have added up and it's better than what it was if you weren't trying at all. Good for us to be even trying! thanks for being honest-

[stiteal]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

I'm rooting for you!!

[Meech]

Was not successful last night but hopeful

I made it through. Had to walk to the grocery store with my daughter to by some junk food. Some salty chips and sparkling peach and a kids movie. Not a healthy night snack but better then booze and I enjoyed a fun night cuddling with my three kids and laughing.

Hubby in a hockey tourney for the weekend. So it's AF and good times with the kids.
Thanks for the support Kimikk and Stiteal. It was really hard tonight not to cave. But I did it tomorrow will be AF6.

I'm worried tomorrow night will be even harder. Hopefully I can get through this weekend.
Meech