I'm new...where do I begin???

[DisEase]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hi Stiteal, I have been checking out your thread, thanks for posting. I am relatively new to this site, what a Godsend! As are all the wonderful and amazing people who so truthfully share, and coach, and don't judge us on here. We have much to learn from each other. We are clearly not all alone.

[stiteal]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hi DisEase and FallonsMom,

Thanks for reading along, I too love reading all of the threads, it's a fabulous form of therapy. How are you guys doing today? Just learning, are you AF (alcohol free), thinking about being AF? Do share!

[mumtotwo]

I'm new...where do I begin???

This is a great thread! This is my first ever post on this site, although I found it whilst living overseas about a year or so ago. I am also a wine drinker and a mother of two children. Had no problem stopping during my pregnancies, but after having 2 kids under the age of 2 I was overwhelmed and turned to wine to "wind down" in the evenings. I also drink only at night, but found that the urge was coming on closer to 4 pm instead of after bedtime for the kids. I am determined to stop for the month of February this time (at least that is my initial goal). It seems with me that I'll stop and then start back slowly, or drinking beer instead (I don't drink much of that) but I always end up back to a bottle of wine a night, sometimes a bottle and a half. I stopped again for this month (Feb. 1st was my first AF day)... so I'm in this with you! Oh, and my husband travels during the week too and will be home Thursday night Glad to have a few of you to do this with... now if I can only get over my insomnia I'll be GREAT! Anyone else having sleeping issues without alcohol?

[stiteal]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Mumtotwo,

Yes, I have major sleeping issues. In addition to my love of wine, I've also been using sleeping pills (Tylenol PM). However, when I went AF on Monday, I stopped with the sleeping pills too, so this has been a big week for me. I am still not sleeping well, although I feel like it gets a bit better every night. You and I seem to be very much on the same page...moms of little ones, bottle(s) of wine every night to wind down from said small children, traveling husband, etc. Yes, it will be a huge help to do this with people with identical situations and if you've been reading lots of threads, you know there are so many of "us" on here! I've felt like the biggest loser for the past few years while I've been entertaining Al (Alcohol), and Monday when I found this site was the first time that I reallized I'm not a loser, I'm one of so many other people who have a struggle that needs to be dealth with...and that's it. Al is the loser, not me.

So tell me, how have you been dealing with everything this week? Are you telling your husband what you're doing, are you struggling, has it been relatively easy, do tell.

[stiteal]

I'm new...where do I begin???

AF3 was a great day...the only thing I struggled with this evening was boredom. However, it never occurred to me to have a glass of wine. Each time I found my mind drifting, I would change the channel, find my little one to play with, get on here and read, etc. I am just very encouraged that my initial thought was not to get my wine glass out and go to town...I'm getting somewhere! It is 1:24am now. I am still having trouble sleeping, which I would imagine will even out as my body gets back into a normal routine. My glazed eyes (which another member was discussing today) are beginning to brighten up. My face is looking very fresh. My puffy face and hands have completely gone down (keep in mind I have been working out everyday this week and have probably sweated out all of the extra fluid retention) and I just feel better in general.

So I am officially at the start of AF4 and am pretty excited about this weekend. As I mentioned eariler in the thread, my hubby and I have decided to try for another baby. I am gaining more and more confidence that my drinking will not be a factor when I get pregnant (or ever for that matter). So, my prayer is that God will give us a baby in his perfect timing and that I would be responsible for that gift. Thank you God for the priviledge of being on this website...my entire view and way of thinking has begun to shift...truly a miracle.

[planetjanet]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hello Everyone and Welcome:

Congrats Stiteal on your AF days : ) Just wanted welcome you to this site and like previous posts, this is such an awesome place. It's so nice to come to a place where you can be completely honest and not feel anyone judging you, there is so much love at this site.

Anywho, once again welcome and best of luck to you and PLEASE keep us posted.

Lots of hugs,
Janet

[Guest]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hi FallonsMom,
Can I ask how you are getting off the alcohol? I just need some guidance as I dont know how or where to begin

[Guest]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Stiteal,
Great to hear you are doing so well. I was curious to know what you are doing to get away from Alcohol. Are you taking anything? It's incredible that you are getting off of it so fast!

[JackieClaire]

I'm new...where do I begin???

:welcome: Hoping,

You've made a huge step today by asking for help.

Just click below on the tool box link below and it might give you some ideas for starting out.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Keep reading, keep posting.

You're not alone any more. We've all walked in your shoes at one time.

J x

:l

[savon19]

I'm new...where do I begin???

stiteal,

I assume that you have lapband because you were overweight and wanted to get better. You value yourself enough to do that... (and with those side-effects!)

The scariest thing was when you said you drove (are driving?) your child when still drunk... Think of how lucky you've been that you haven't had DUI or worse.

It sounds like you know all the reasons for stopping.

It's not easy, especially at first. But I know you can do it. (BTW, even tho' I've been af for longest ever in my life ---- I know that it still would be Very easy to justify buying it. I am Truly not "holier than thou"!!)

Reading your post helped me remember all the stupid things I would do when drinking. I need to be reminded. So you see, we all help each other from different perspectives...

Good luck to you.

(PS - didn't see your post above about being AF for 4 days! Woo hoooo!!)

[stiteal]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hi Gang!
AF4, whoo hoo!!! There were a few questions about how I'm staying off of the alcohol: I am not taking any supplements, although they do sound very effective and most everyone who uses them seems to have positive feedback...I may try them in the future, depending on how my journey goes. I think the key for me was really telling myself that I don't drink anymore. I am a non drinker...taking it out of the house...reallizing a big goal I was trying to reach (preparing my body for another baby) and knowing I can't reach that big goal until Al was gone. I am also on this site about 20 times a day- reading, reading, posting, reading. I have made my distraction lists as so many have suggested and use it. Now, I already suspected that the weekdays would not be too difficult, as during the month of January, I had almost completely stopped drinking during the week and only gorging myself on the weekends. So with that said, this coming weekend and next week when we're on vacation, that will be my real test. The power of distraction and looking at my past accomplishments are what helps drive me the most (historically speaking). I am also walking a mile a day and working out in my gym with weights. The excersize makes a HUGE difference in not only my physical being, but goes a long way for my mental state. I am also using this site to journal my thoughts...some of my own thoughts and taking ideas from other folks and try to get a bit of therapy out of it. Savon19's comments below are a perfect example of that.

savon19, yes, I have a lapband and have already lost 55 pounds over a 3 year period...it would have been substantially more, had I not been drowning myself in wine everynight. I am extremely excited to see how much more effective the band will be now. I love it, side effects and all, it was a great decision for me, however isn't something that's for everyone, as it is a real pain in the a$$ sometimes and completely requires you to change the way you eat.

As far as driving drunk with my little one: although I have never driven drunk with her (thank God), only hungover the next morning, it brings me to my topic that I'm focusing on today...the "what could have happened/what could happen if I continue to drink" list. Although this list is hypothetical, it is still a big deal and really does serve as a motivator for me...what if one day I did decide I was invincable and got behind the wheel and killed someone, what if instead of just slipping in the shower and getting a concussion (which of course I did), what if I fell and split my head open while my family was asleep, etc, etc, etc. These thoughts absolutely rock me to my core. I look at my father (who I addressed in a previous posting) who was a life long alkie, had several DUI's (one where he drove off a bridge and miraculously survived), lost contact with several family members due to his drinking, completely ruined his insides and ultimately killed himself as a result of the physical and emotional pain (my own assessment). This to me is one of the worst case scenarios of drinking. I WANT NO PART OF THIS and the thought that my choices over the last few years could have led to the exact same results as my father- scares the living daylights out of me!!

I will take recovery how ever I can get it. By the power of prayer, distraction, awareness of accomplishment, excersize, supplements, this website or even the fear of what could happen. It will take me much longer than my AF4 to discover the plan that works best for me, but with the help of this site and the angels on here allowing me to spill my guts, it will happen...I am determined! Thank you for listening!

[mollyka]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Wow Stiteal
you sound so strong. Feel strong myself at the moment but I envy you your determination and enthusiasm I'm going to take a leaf out of your book! First day of the rest of our lives yay!!!!!

[mumtotwo]

I'm new...where do I begin???

Hi stiteal! Congrats on day 4! I have told my husband that I'm not drinking, but I haven't shared any long-term goals with him. I guess this is mainly because I'm afraid I'll let the wine get the best of me at some point and decide it's "OK" to have a couple drinks... I'm really hoping that doesn't happen. The last time I did this (end of October) I had told him I wasn't going to drink until my big college reunion in early November, if even then. I had some really hard days, but made it (11 days, which was huge for me). I did decide to drink that weekend and came home and didn't drink that week, but gradually got back to where I was. I had some weeks that were better than others, but I've finally realized I've got to stop again for a while, at least.

One of the reasons I've gone back to wine in the past even after not drinking for a while (even 5 days) is the insomnia. While I have had sleeping issues basically since my first pregnancy and then newborn days, I can at least get a few good nights' sleeps if I have some wine. I'm not talking about drinking a LOT of wine, but a few glasses helps. I KNOW this is not the answer and eventually leads to wanting more and more but I just need to get past this point of not sleeping at all. I'm not craving wine as a general rule, but my body is in desperate need of sleep. I have slept MAYBE 2 hours each night for the last 3 nights and it's taking its toll. It doesn't help that I wind up with 1 or 2 kids in my bed tossing and turning and talking at 5 am every day, just when I'm finally getting into a nice sleep. Today I'm exhausted and irritable from the lack of sleep. I may make a post about it as I haven't found much in my search of this site or the web on the topic. Maybe I'm not searching correctly, but I'm scared that if I don't start to sleep again VERY soon I'm going to head to the grocery store for the good old sleep-inducer, a bottle of cabernet. I want to exercise and I have been more productive around the house, with the kids, etc. over the past few days. I just don't have the energy today for exercise or much else for that matter. I'm the kind of girl that needs 8 hours a night or I'm a bear

I'm so proud of you for doing so well and being so positive! Are you going to tell your husband? SO smart of you to do this before having another child, because while I certainly drank PLENTY before I had kids, I found that it was much more of a habit and PROBLEM after I had a newborn and an under 2 year old. I saw myself doing it more frequently and while I wasn't drunk until they were well in bed, what would I have done if something had happened and I had to rush one of them to the ER or something in the middle of the night with my husband out of town? Scary thought.

I'm a little down today due to the lack of sleep... I hope your day is a good one!

[looking for peace]

I'm new...where do I begin???

welcome

Welcome to the new people out there. Thanks for posting. Sounds that there are alot of us in very similar situations. "Functioning" ok during the day and once that first one goes down, look out. I am just so tired of feeling loathsome in the mornings. I feel depressed, guilty, scared for my health and disgusted for most of the day, and then the switch flips and I have that drink and decide to myself "I can always start quitting tomorrow".

I've had several really good days and then went to a meeting about my disabled son's future and drank way too much 2 days in a row. I wanted to forget about the lifetime responsibility and burden and thought "just one drink" will take the edge off. Well you know how that turned out.

I'm getting increasingly more fearful and disgusted. I can't do this anymore either. I'm glad there's a place for us to reach out to.

If I can help in anyway, I would really like to. I think if we start helping others, we at least take ourselves off our minds for awhile.

[melissa27]

I'm new...where do I begin???

I am so excited to have found this site!!! Everything that I read so far sounds exactly like me! I am very concerned about my liver health. I have been a heavy drinker for about 10 years now.... I used to start drinking in the morning, but for the last 4 years I drink only in the evenings when I get home from work. I am terribly concerned about my 13 year old girl who has seen me drunk quite a few times!!! The last year things have gotten a lot worse. I get drunk quicker and the next day I don't remember a thing about the night before! I am so ashamed to admit that I am an alcoholic but it is the truth. I drink every day! I must stop. I urgently need any support you can give me. Thanks guys!

PS: I am also new here! And I also very desperate