Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Feeling quite lost

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    Feeling quite lost

    I'm new this online thing. I am an alcoholic. I recently was involved in an AA group in my area and when I got my first 30 days and done with step eight, I went out to drink. I really don't have any excuse for the matter, I suppose I thought I was owed the opportunity. As I learned within hours, I do not control my drinking. In fact, I didn't really even attempt to control it. I quickly found myself loaded....and the following day found that I had "blacked out". This morning as I returned to work I have learned that I had some constant conversations with employees that I cannot remember. I am too embarrassed to go back the AA group and get another "desire chip", more truthfully maybe I am too full of false pride. In my particular job I have the ability to drink whenever I want since I have no superior to give me hell about it, so the urge to drink is terrible at the moment.
    This afternoon one of my children is having a school play and I know that I have to show up to see it, but I also know that if I drink then there is no way I will make it. The humiliation of knowing that I am actually considering how I can do both is overwhelming. What kind of man am I that it would even be a problem choosing? Please pray for me and my family. Thank you for this forum.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Feeling quite lost

    ((((Skeert)))

    :welcome: You know I sometimes thing the whole mindset, I can never drink again, leads us to failure. I find it easy enuf to say and mean, today I will not drink instead I want to go to my child's school play. He expects me there and I do want to see him.

    Why do you think you can't not drink until then? Why do you drink? I mean it can't be simply a social thing or you would not even THINK of missing out on your child's play.

    (Now if it was a child's musical instrument, THAT could cause one to drink) JK.

    Welcome and check us out thouroughly. We are a diverse group with lots of sound advice and NOTHING you can tell us we haven't done or have seen others do.:l

    Comment

      #3
      Feeling quite lost

      Hi Skeert:-)
      Wise words Hart.
      Take today one day at a time, one hour at a time or one minute at a time if necessary -- focus on getting to your childs play and no further.
      Do you have access to any of the recommeded suppliments? L-Glut etc to get you thru?
      Stay strong!
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

      Comment

        #4
        Feeling quite lost

        Hart thanks for the encouraging words. I have often times asked myself "why do I drink?". I drink to feel good about me. In that first few ounces of vodka is the secret of what makes me think I might be ok with others. I intellectually understand that it cannot be, as my children and wife seem to think I'm just fine when I am not drinking, but somehow I feel quite inadequate and insignificant. I have pretty much always felt this way most of my life. I have been in and out of programs for over twenty years with bouts of sobriety lasting as much as six years. But I somehow become lonely and empty in my own mind after some time and find that my only courage to face myself and others is to be a bit elibriated.
        Thanks again for your suggestion and humor.

        Comment

          #5
          Feeling quite lost

          DeeBee;799526 wrote: Hi Skeert:-)
          Wise words Hart.
          Take today one day at a time, one hour at a time or one minute at a time if necessary -- focus on getting to your childs play and no further.
          Do you have access to any of the recommeded suppliments? L-Glut etc to get you thru?
          Stay strong!
          I must say this is the first I have ever heard of taking "L-Glut"...I am certain I can find it. What does this stuff do?

          Comment

            #6
            Feeling quite lost

            I'll bump up a thread for you to help explain -- it has helped me :-)
            "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

            Comment

              #7
              Feeling quite lost

              this si such a common feeling, I too feel like this,am trying to stop I find one day at a time to be the best way, not too daunting, lot's of help and support here, love and hug's Twitch xx

              Comment

                #8
                Feeling quite lost

                Hi, Skeert, welcome!

                I'll add to DeeBee's suggestion about L-Glute. It's a supplement that helps curb alcohol and sugar cravings, and I found it useful for the physical cravings. I also recently started AA, and find that helpful in the mental department. You probably know this, but they are never judgemental over anyone lapsing - like here, most of them have at some time. So maybe call your sponsor or someone on the call list - that's what it's for.

                Good luck - and yes, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Get up, dust yourself off and back on the horse. Take care.
                ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                AUGUST 9, 2009

                Comment

                  #9
                  Feeling quite lost

                  dancelot;799541 wrote: Hi, Skeert, welcome!

                  I'll add to DeeBee's suggestion about L-Glute. It's a supplement that helps curb alcohol and sugar cravings, and I found it useful for the physical cravings. I also recently started AA, and find that helpful in the mental department. You probably know this, but they are never judgemental over anyone lapsing - like here, most of them have at some time. So maybe call your sponsor or someone on the call list - that's what it's for.

                  Good luck - and yes, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Get up, dust yourself off and back on the horse. Take care.
                  Thanks so much for the advice. I realize this is quite petty but I just cannot seem to muster the courage needed to call my sponser and let him know that I failed again. The deal with this man was that I was to call BEFORE I drank....which of course I did not do. I feel that the disappointment of my failure will only be compounded when I let him know that I did. However, I will have to do something--most likely it will be to let him know. Thanks again for your encouragement and for elaborating on the use of L-Glute.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Feeling quite lost

                    Later today, worry about having a drink. Right now, get ready to go to your child's play. You can have a drink later; you can only go to your child's play this afternoon. Don't be selfish to yourself about this. When your child is grown, you will regret this. I say this because you sound just like my husband when my daughter was young. He never managed to attend anything. She always remembered that and she never understood why until she was old enough to realize his drinking was more important than she was. GO. We will talk later.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Feeling quite lost

                      Skeert, the people on this site can be your sponsors at any stage...that is what I am quickly learning. And the best part is, everyone here is eager to help...so use us!! You can make it to the play without a drink. Like the other fellow said, don't think about what you're going to do or not going to do after the play, just get to the play. You can do it!!:thumbs:
                      :yougo:stiteal

                      For my family, for my health, for me...

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Feeling quite lost

                        Thanks for all the uplifting sentiments and the positive advice. I am now on my way to see my daughter in her play at school. God bless you all for your encouragement.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Feeling quite lost

                          skeert, let us know how your day goes after the play.
                          :yougo:stiteal

                          For my family, for my health, for me...

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Feeling quite lost

                            Skeert,

                            Good job you are going to the play. That just brought tears to my eyes. You are a good Dad. Remember that!!!!!!! I know she will.
                            M

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Feeling quite lost

                              The play

                              The play was cute--it was about the Romans and the death of ceasar. My daughter, being the ham that she is, was just wonderful. I did manage to remember to go get the video camera to record the event. As for being a "great dad" I appreciate the kind words, the Lord knows that I don't see myself as being one of those but maybe in time I can meet that standard.
                              Now that the play is over and I'm back at the office I must admit that the first thing I am concerned with is having a drink (that's a lie, it's never "just a drink" it will likely be a series of them). Considering how much I have told myself that I wouldn't be able to have one until the play was accomplished my stinking thinking has now chimed in and reminded me that the reward is in order. I am sorry to be a disappointment to those that would wish I would just walk away from it today but I think that I will have to resume the fight tomorrow.
                              Again, thank you all so very much for the encouragement, special thanks to stiteal and Meech, for following up on me today. It is quite humbling to think two total strangers could be so caring. God bless you.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X