was doing better but then...

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

Thanks...I might also say something like "I just feel better without it" Hope I can stick to that!
I second that about DG. I appreciate all of you!

[looking for peace]

was doing better but then...

You sound like your are in the "deprivation" mode. You feel alcohol is a treat and you're just being left out during abstinance which makes it more of a treat when you give in. If you haven't, you should real Allen Carr's book How to quit Alcohol. He dispells all of the brainwashing that it's fun to even have 1 drink. It's helped me, but I feel like a hypocrite offering advice because I still go up and down. There's alot about the book on this site.

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

That is a really good point. I have his book, and I'll look at it again. Although I am feeling differently - today is day 3 - I'm better off without it...

[DisEase]

was doing better but then...

Hi Someone Else, I am in No Cal! I am new to this place but not to the struggles of AL. I am a 43 yr old SAHM with 2 little ones (7 and 4). I have never been able to mod because if I have 1, I want to have 10 - and do. I have been doing really well on Nal. I probably drink 1 or 2 a week now, and stop before I am drunk/black out/or do something to be ashamed of the following day. I am never hung over. And I am proud of the mother my children wake up to these days. Something I have not been able to say for 2 or 3 years now.

I do think I am on my way to abstinence. When I drink, I no longer get that high, it almost feels weird. And since the rush is gone, I wonder why I wasted the calories afterwards!!! Since my hubby is a nightly black out drinker who likes me to drink with him (sometimes I wished HE traveled so he would not keep trying to suck me in by pouring me a glass of wine and asking me to join him) NOT drinking is so hard. I needed the option to drink that Nal allows me since I am constantly around AL and don't want to feel deprived. Just not drinking was too hard for me to white knuckle with all the drinking that goes on around here and since I really wanted to drink, anyways. If I am going to drink, or my hubby pours me a drink and I decide to indulge, I just put it in the fridge, take a pill 1 hour before I have a sip, and then I can drink with a painless amount of control over how much I drink. It has taken all of the obsessing about whether I will or won't drink away, and not having that constantly on my mind has been extremely liberating

This may be a more gentle transition to stopping altogether because I think when you start remembering how great it feels to wake up sober, guilt free, without a hangover, it makes you realize what a wonderful life you have been missing. Or for me, how much I take from my kids when I indulge at night and then become cranky and impatient with them in the AM because my head hurts. I am only a month or 2 into this, and even if it stops working tomorrow, I am glad for the sober time it has given me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that the best gift I can give my kids is an engaged mom, and the Nal is proving to be a useful tool for getting me there.

I am new here and I should probably be encouraging you to be AF. I am just telling you what has happened in my life which is next to miraculous. There are also a lot of proponents on here for Bac, too. Just don't give up. Try try and try again. You deserve peace around your drinking. We all do. So don't give up of feel as though you have failed. AL gets a terrible and vicious hold on some of us for some reason. And I don't think it is our fault, I think it is the way we are wired, the way our body responds to the AL, for some reason. This is not about will power. It is about not giving up and finding the power to continue on the fight when you are too weak and tired to continue on the fight. Keep seeking an answer. If you make it your life's work, you will find it. You WILL find a way out.

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

Thanks for your kind post, DisEase. I'm so glad to hear that you found something that is working for you. I'm sorry to hear your hubby blacks out every night - that's not healthy. Anyway, I think a major thing that has driven me to drink in the past has been trying to escape negative feelings. I'm working on equanimity - as I understand it, just kind of observing the feelings and allowing them to be there, instead of fighting them, and then they don't hurt as much. And, I have chronic depression and have most of my life. I have ordered a new herbal supplement, Amoryn, and I hope it comes soon. I think if I can get that under control things will be much easier. And if not maybe I'll find a way to try Nal.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Best,

Someone_else

[Doggygirl]

was doing better but then...

I've heard really good things about Amoryn. I hope it helps you! Just getting AL out of my life turned my own suicidal level depression around. (I realize that is not 100% of it for everyone)

In any case, hang in there and don't give up!

DG

[JackieClaire]

was doing better but then...

DG,
Are you sure we weren't separated at birth. I was at the same turning point on 5th July 2009.
I had to give up AL to save my life.
Give the Amoryn a go, some-one else.
J x
:l

[KatieB]

was doing better but then...

DG - you speak so much sense! I agree with everything you are saying.. I was at the crossroads myself recently - but when you look at my history, I would be a fool to keep on drinking.. drinking problems come in so many different shapes and forms - though some of us have things in common with others, there are still lots of different ways AL can be a problem in people's lives..
someone else: i have had similar issues to yours; I have gotten too drunk to look after my son a couple of times - just once is too much! I don't want to ever risk that again, even if 99% of the time I am fine, it is just not worth the risk with that 1%.. and like you, I do NOT want my son to be adversly affected by me and AL, so I vow never to drink again.. I wish you all the best with what you decide to do in your journey x

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

DG - I know, it's hard to say which comes first! But I figure it's worth a try. It seems like the times I've overdone it in the past have been fueled by depression and the resulting frustration of trying to do all the right things and having them not work, or at least not enough. And of course, AL just makes it worse. I'm just so fed up with depression - it's been almost my constant companion since I was about 11, and now I'm 46. Exercise, etc., help for a while, and I've tried various antidepressants...I'm excited to try this new stuff, but also trying not to get my hopes up too high in case I'm disappointed again. In the meantime, just trying to do some deep breathing! And maybe a little retail therapy...(and staying away from the beer aisle!)

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!

se

[Doggygirl]

was doing better but then...

JackieClaire;810105 wrote: DG,
Are you sure we weren't separated at birth. I was at the same turning point on 5th July 2009.
I had to give up AL to save my life.
Give the Amoryn a go, some-one else.
J x
:l

Yes. My REAL name is JC2.

I saw no reason at all to live. So no point or purpose to it. Couldn't see anything in the future other than drudgery.

Funny how I live the same life today that I did before. Same house. Same husband. Same family. Just no AL. Now I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger (what is that anyway, and where did that saying come from???). It has driven me nuts to be stuck in the house for the last week between first nursing the tendon injury then battling a bad cold! So I'm posting like a mad woman and probably driving YOU all nuts. Life is good.

DG

[Doggygirl]

was doing better but then...

someone_else;810108 wrote: DG - I know, it's hard to say which comes first! But I figure it's worth a try. It seems like the times I've overdone it in the past have been fueled by depression and the resulting frustration of trying to do all the right things and having them not work, or at least not enough. And of course, AL just makes it worse. I'm just so fed up with depression - it's been almost my constant companion since I was about 11, and now I'm 46. Exercise, etc., help for a while, and I've tried various antidepressants...I'm excited to try this new stuff, but also trying not to get my hopes up too high in case I'm disappointed again. In the meantime, just trying to do some deep breathing! And maybe a little retail therapy...(and staying away from the beer aisle!)

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!

se

I realize now that I had a lot of misconceptions about why I drank. I'm still figuring some of it out over a year and half AF. As a couple of examples, I used to think I drank because I was depressed (as one reason of many). In my case, drinking was the cause of my depression. I used to think I drank out of boredom. I realize now that drinking is what CAUSED my boredom. Etcetera, etcetera. See what you have to look forward to? All this self discovery!!!

DG

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

Well, I guess we'll see

Hope your tendon feels better. You're not driving ME nuts!

se

[someone_else]

was doing better but then...

Misconceptions about reasons for drinking

Doggygirl, you are right. I am finding things out. I can't completely blame depression, because there have been times when I felt pretty good and still overdid it. And it's not just about waiting till later in the day, either, because it seems I'll just drink faster. So again, I'm thinking the best thing to do is just not start. If there is a very special occasion sometime, maybe I could have one or something, but mostly just avoid it. And I have said this so many times and then slacked off. But I'm hopeful - my amoryn came yesterday and hopefully it will kick in soon. I'm trying to accept things I can't change, and just be more responsible in general. Feeling overwhelmed and lonely are not reasons to drink. I have to remember that it robs the brain of its natural feel good chemicals. I want to put up a bunch of reminders and things but don't want anyone else to see them. I guess they could go on the inside of my bathroom cabinet, and on the fridge I could put something like Drink Water.

bye for now...

[Chillgirl]

was doing better but then...

Hi Guys
DG - Im 45 and have been drinking for 30 years on a regular basis since aged 15. I have suffered from depression, anxiety and for the last 4 years suicidal thoughts. Looking back the majority of this has indeed been caused by AL and not the other way round. I have now been AF since Jan 1st. I love your reference to same house etc.... it reminds me of the quote "EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED BUT NOTHING IS DIFFERENT"

Someone-else - I made small cards which I carry in my purse as well as having them in the house, they have a variety of sayings on them like:- ALCOHOL IS A POISON WHICH DESTROYS YOU MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY, WERE YOU EVER IMPRESSED BY A DRUNK?, I HAVE CONTROL OF MY LIFE AGAIN, DONT EVER FORGET ALL THE MISERY, AL DEBILITATES EACH OF YOUR SENSES, HABITS ARE EASY TO BREAK IF YOU WANT TO, BE YOUR OWN CONTROLLER, ONE DRINK KEEPS THE MONSTER ALIVE! Etc......... If a need a quick reminder they are always within reach.

[mama bear]

was doing better but then...

Chill.......love it!!