Identifying Triggers...

[MommyDearest72]

I have been AF for 14 days today. I had a slip up, but I am still here! At any rate,I am identifying the things and people and situations that make me want to drink or make me start to rationalize having one...Yesterday and today, They are hitting me hard...Im stepping outside( or deeper inside) of myself and wondering why...why today?...
1) I'm broke
2)I'm lonely
3)I debated cleaning up faster and having a little bit of fun while doing it.
4)I just want to.
5)the custody battle and relationship deteriorating with my 11 year old.
6)talking to/not talking to my mother
7)my daughter
8) cooking dinner, cleaning
9)work
These are a few....

[FallonsMom]

Identifying Triggers...

1. my husband

2. If I'm bored

3. my husband

4. sad

5. my husband

[JimBeam911]

Identifying Triggers...

I've used many of these myself to justify drinking. However, lately I've been reevaluating the whole concept of 'triggers' in a new light. External situations do not force us to drink; only we can force ourselves to drink. To my mind, all a trigger amounts to is a glorified and fallacious rationalization that we deserve to drink. This is easily evident by virtue of the simple fact that so-called triggers appear regardless of whether we're stressed, happy, bored, sad, angry, etc. Recognizing deep down that we have no rational reason to drink, our addicted thinking focuses on our external environment and deludes us into thinking that we can't make it through the situation without drinking. This may sound harsh, and I want to emphasize that this is not a personal attack on your post. Rather, this is my observation after many, many, many years of blaming my drinking on triggers. In reality, I was just shifting the blame away from myself. Just think of all the people who have gone through the same things we have but have not chosen to drink alcohol? They survived, and so can we

[toughintexas]

Identifying Triggers...

1. Pouring one "out of habit"
2. Telling myself that I've done "good" and deserve it/can handle it
3. Family "crap"
4. Being bored
5. Wanting to drink normally
6. Death of friends and family lately
7. Sadness of all the above
8. Being pissed at myself for letting this get outta control to start with
9. Just wanting to socialize and not overdo it...most of the times I do, but then it'll sneak up on me again without fail, then I'm pissed again....lol

[christyacc]

Identifying Triggers...

I have to say that I can't feel any trigger per say.

I can drink if I have a stressful day, or even if I don't.
I can drink if my kids are good or have been shits.
I can drink if my husband and I are getting along, and if we don't.

I guess what I am saying is, we drink any time, with no real excuse other than just because our body screams for it.

I need to get used to living again without it and resorting to it......I am here for help and support.......

[toughintexas]

Identifying Triggers...

JIM THAT IS SO AWESOME AND SOOOO TRUE...I'M PRINTING OUT YOUR POST....VERY VERY GOOD POINTS!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[Meech]

Identifying Triggers...

Hi JimBeam and everyone

I agree I could drink for one reason or the complete opposite reason. It's not so much the trigger as it is the habit I have become addicted to. I could be bummed, stressed, happy, excitied all day and not think about drinking.
But when 5-9pm comes along no matter what life throws at me I will have cravings.

HOWEVER, everyone is different. Some people may not crave for days and only crave when they are stressed perhaps. We probably have are own habits, or triggers.

For me it is habit. End of the day, time to relax and have a beer and then many to follow. So I am trying to just tweak this routine with a non-AL drink. It's been tough. Tomorrow will be AF5. Just going day by day.

I guess the most important thing is knowing our addicition and our vulnerability towards AL really well then trying to fix it.

Good posts everyone. All the advice helps and keeps filling the mind with good info to move forward.

Have a good night controlling or going completely AF everyone
Meech

[TakeHeart]

Identifying Triggers...

Oh my Goodness!

Give me a day and I'll give you a reason.......

Which is why I am here!!!!!

[redhibiscus]

Identifying Triggers...

For me the triggers are:

1. The witching hours of 4-7 p.m. If I can make it AF till 7, I am home free.
2. Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired, any time of the day.
3. Weekends, too much free time on my hands.
4. Letting myself think of the supposed "good times," glamorizing alcohol consumption.
5. Going out with people who drink.

[gyco]

Identifying Triggers...

MommyDearest72;801224 wrote: I have been AF for 14 days today. I had a slip up, but I am still here! At any rate,I am identifying the things and people and situations that make me want to drink or make me start to rationalize having one...Yesterday and today, They are hitting me hard...Im stepping outside( or deeper inside) of myself and wondering why...why today?...
1) I'm broke
2)I'm lonely
3)I debated cleaning up faster and having a little bit of fun while doing it.
4)I just want to.
5)the custody battle and relationship deteriorating with my 11 year old.
6)talking to/not talking to my mother
7)my daughter
8) cooking dinner, cleaning
9)work
These are a few....

hi 72,i to like you have had,lapses,my dear there is a difference, between a lapse and a fulll bown relapse,youve caught it, or youve finally got it,the other question is,why would you want to,knowing the reprocusions of just having one,it will leed to many,i truly beleive just coming to places like here and what ever other means you can use for 24 hours to escape the rath of another drunk is movement forward,i think your doing great,the reasons you stated are mind ,over matter,as long as you used it will take u to lern how to NOT,have a great weekend gyco

[mario]

Identifying Triggers...

Why i thought i drank............................
I drank for happiness & became un happy.
I drank for joy & became miserable.
I drank for sociabitity & became argumentative.
I drank for friendship & made enemies.
I drank for sleep & woke up tired.
I drank for strength & felt weak.
I drank for relaxation & got the shakes.
I drank for courage & became afraid.
I drank for confidence & became doubtful.
I drank to make conversation easier & slurred my speech.
I drank to feel heavenly & ended up feeling like hell.
And thats a few of the reasons why i stopped.

[Doggygirl]

Identifying Triggers...

Mario, I love that list.

More and more I realize that in the end of my drinking career, I drank because I'm addicted to alcohol.

So many of the things on my list of "triggers" were actually problems that were a RESULT of drinking, not problems that were a CAUSE for drinking.

Here are a couple of example I thought through this week:

Did I drink because I was bored? No. I was bored because I spent my time drinking instead of pursuing more interesting things to do. Life was and is going on all around me. I can choose to hole up in my house and drink, and let life pass me by, or I can get out there and live.

Did I drink because I was lonely? No. I was lonely because I drank, instead of getting out there in the main stream of life.

I was a big baby expecting the good stuff of life to just somehow drop in my lap. That's not the way it works. If I want a satisfying life that has purpose and meaningful relationships, then I need to get out there and pursue those things. They aren't going to land on my doorstep any more than the Publishers Clearing House guy with the big check is going to land there.

For me, getting sober has meant dropping a bunch of my whiney baby crap. :upset: What goes around comes around, and if I want the good stuff I need to get out there and give it too.

DG

[fluff]

Identifying Triggers...

Doggy and Mario-good points-Doggy you hit the nail on the head with everything you said-you can sit on the couch and drink your life away or get up, throw out the bottle-and start living!
These are the the thoughts that make you get through each day and make it close to a booze free life! I've had way too much Starbucks this morning and I am really ranting on each thread-sorry,
Luv, Fluff

[mario]

Identifying Triggers...

posted by doggygirl..Did I drink because I was lonely? No. I was lonely because I drank, instead of getting out there in the main stream of life.

I was a big baby expecting the good stuff of life to just somehow drop in my lap. That's not the way it works. If I want a satisfying life that has purpose and meaningful relationships, then I need to get out there and pursue those things. They aren't going to land on my doorstep any more than the Publishers Clearing House guy with the big check is going to land there.

For me, getting sober has meant dropping a bunch of my whiney baby crap. What goes around comes around, and if I want the good stuff I need to get out there and give it too.

way to go doggygirl

[MommyDearest72]

Identifying Triggers...

JimBeam911;801231 wrote: I've used many of these myself to justify drinking. However, lately I've been reevaluating the whole concept of 'triggers' in a new light. External situations do not force us to drink; only we can force ourselves to drink. To my mind, all a trigger amounts to is a glorified and fallacious rationalization that we deserve to drink. This is easily evident by virtue of the simple fact that so-called triggers appear regardless of whether we're stressed, happy, bored, sad, angry, etc. Recognizing deep down that we have no rational reason to drink, our addicted thinking focuses on our external environment and deludes us into thinking that we can't make it through the situation without drinking. This may sound harsh, and I want to emphasize that this is not a personal attack on your post. Rather, this is my observation after many, many, many years of blaming my drinking on triggers. In reality, I was just shifting the blame away from myself. Just think of all the people who have gone through the same things we have but have not chosen to drink alcohol? They survived, and so can we

I want to tell you I appreciate your candor. I do believe everything and decision I face is ultimately mine-regardless of the situation. I am going to look at the why's in me do these external things have power; why do I allow it...what is it????inside??? Is it because I dont want to deal with things? Or is it something in people that mirrors myself ??? I have angst about tonight- Its Friday and day 15 and drinking has been on my mind hard for the last two days...It's making me angry.-( I must've hit a nerve because I want to cry..) I'm angry! AHA!!! Me just writing that makes me cry!!! :upset:I got it! I AM ANGRY!!!! I AM ANGRY!!! (tears are streaming down my face) I AM ANGRY!!! WOW>:thanks: