i messed up again

[rosepetal]

Just like that i blew it on the weekend Saturday to be exact. i was really restless and i decided to go out and i was craving the whole time, but i kept saying to myself i don't want to drink. i ended up giving in and it turned out to be really miserable. i kept saying earlier this week ok this it just today and tomorrow will be af. i am sure many of you have experienced that thinking. well i was firm with myself today and i am back on day1 i feel really frustrated because i lost track of my all the day 1's i have had. i sure would love to get to a day 60 i know it is all about comittment to doing this. anyways trying to complete my day 1 again.

[christyacc]

i messed up again

Don't beat yourself up about being on Day one again...I have had more than I care to remember, but what we do have to remember is that we don't give up.

[Meech]

i messed up again

It's going to happen for you

:wings: Hi Rosepetal,

I feel like I'm hearing myself in your words. I am the notorious everyother day girl.

My scenoario played out most days looks like.......
Day one: hungover I don't drink
Day two: not hungover, feel great so I drink
Day three hungover: I don't drink (or maybe just one.. you know hair of the dog and all?). But then I drink the whole damn dog. Evenmore than the day before.
Day four: really feeling worn out and hungover so I don't drink

See the pattern? Sound familiar? This has been me for 4 years. The odd time I have been AF for 2 days maybe 3. But most weeks I'm the every other day drunk.

I tried different programs, hypnosis etc..... but once I was able to connect with other people on MWO I have made more progress in over 4 years. I often thought of going to AA to be able to share with others but I never had the nerve to go as I know everyone in town almost and the thought would be dreadful - letting out my big secret.

Last two weeks...
Going AF didn't happen at once. I had been reading the posts on MWO for awhile. Still doing the every other day drunk thing. Then I signed up on the site and made some posts. Still doing the drinking.

Then all of a sudden something happened. I did a 2 day AF. Then two 3-Day AF's in a week. And now I'm gong into my first AF5. I may slip up, I hope not but it could happen because the cravings are still pretty big (like tonight).

You can do it too. The L-GLute I really do think helps, and finding some kind of non AL-Drink REALLY helps me take the edge off. Please try it. If it doesn't work there are many other tips.

The wings above are there because I am thinking of you, listening and praying that things get easier. Keep posting, reading and it will come.
I'll keep checking in to see how you are doing.
Meech :l

[MommyDearest72]

i messed up again

Hey my Sister in The Struggle...I love you. I am here for you. Just remember that. We all are!!

[rosepetal]

i messed up again

Thanks so much for your support, MommyDearest72, Meech & Christyacc. I relly had a miserable night last night not so much the craving just not knowing what to do with myself.
I watched tv, but wasn't really into it. i survived though