My AF Brain is fatigued

[Meech]

I was doing okay during AF4 to AF7. But this frigging AL Beast will not let up. It's like he is getting his ugly little toxic hands around my thoughts and gripping harder and harder.

And honestly it's exhausting. I am still fighting but I feel like he's wearing me down.

I don't have the high spirited fight I did last week and I almost gave in last night and tonight. I didn't but I'm tired of fighting.

Any suggestions? I'm pretty sure I have made it through tonight. Got through the first craving of the day at 5pm which is always the most powerful so I think I will be AF9 tomorrow.

I just want the Beast to loosen his grip. I know I have a long struggle ahead of me but I really wasn't expecting the cravings to return to the level I experienced when I was AF 2 and 3?

Any suggestions?

[letgolaughing]

My AF Brain is fatigued

meech..i'm just starting to try to mod and go af...
i'm at day one.
so, i don't have any advice to give you based on experience, but what came to mind was for me to remind you how just beginning feels. like, you just want to get some days under your belt and time won't pass fast enough.
so, keep remembering that you do not want to go back to square one.
my advice when i feel like caving..go to bed. just get in your jammies and get in the bed. read if you're not tired.

good luck. you're doing great, and like so many on here are an inspiration to others, like me

[Meech]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Thanks Letgo

Your words helped. I shall now get into jammies. I have a good book I'm half way through. That will distract me.

Good luck be strong in the beginning and you'll be adding up the Af days in no time.

:thanks::l

[Boss.man]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Distraction is a real key. Keep going.

The problem with the beast, is that it owns a very low and very emotional spot in your brain. It's going to claim that ownership at the most in-opportune moment. Think of it like a willful child, or a misbehaved pet. It will try the silky voice, the convincing voice, blackmail, or whatever else it can try, and do it when you are weakest.

Because I generally watch what I eat, the thing that helps me most is a cookie in the evening. This gives a good sugar rush to replace the AL I don't drink any more. I'm definitely a fan of Theanine (L-Theanine) which is an amino acid that helps lift moods. Exercise in the day helped me a lot, to make me tired at night and regulate my sleep cycles. I also took a warm shower, and really pampered myself in the first month. It was like "health spa" time every night, with a cookie!

And that was just to do the cravings part. The other part is adjusting habits. I threw out all the old glasses. We don't stock the stuff in the house. I go to bed earlier. I changed my evening tasks to eliminate the "holes" in it.

I started stopping in August 2008. My last binge was Feb 20, 2009 and May 4, 2009. The Feb date is coming up, and is the date I added 5-day a week exercise to my routine. That really helped me regulate my day/night cycles, which helps me keep the beast tamped down in it's little box. I'm not AF as I do drink small amounts, but I'm not MOD either, as I generally water down what I drink by about 5-1 or so, so it's more sugar water than wine. I came off of a 30 year habit of nightly drinking and in the last few years was at 6 liters of hard alcohol per week.

Good luck on the book. Be sure to have the next one ready. If you haven't read "Domesday Book" from Connie Willis, that was my "end of drinking" book. It has nothing to do about drinking, but it's long, entertaining and confusing so I just read it over and over. Take it all one day at a time. and stay focused on the goal. Keep the beast in the box.

[Lavande]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Hi Meech,

Boss.man is right - distraction is the key!
Stop whatever you are doing when a crave hits - go do something entirely different. It really helps a lot!

L-Glutamine is supposed to be very helpful with cravings as well!

Hang in there, the cravings will come less often.........just wait them out

Wishing you the best - you are doing great!

Lav

[Doggygirl]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Meech, do you exercise? That's a recommendation in the My Way Out book, and I swear by it. I don't think it matters what you choose to do - just something to get moving. AL and exercise just don't go together. So for me, the time I spend in the gym + some time after was AL free brain time, even in the early days.

Boss.man is right - distraction distraction distraction. I love to read but at times I found that something more active worked better than something where I was sitting quietly.

I know this sounds corny, but the serenity prayer has also been a huge calming factor in my sobriety. I say it slow and really think about what I need to accept, and what I need to step up and change, and for some reason it just helps.

Cookies are good. Pass me a cookie! Pass me the whole bag!

Hang in there. As letgo pointed out, giving in now would just mean starting over. Believe me, it might be harder the next time - not easier. Best to just get this over with now.

:l

DG

[gyco]

My AF Brain is fatigued

yo

Meech;803275 wrote: I was doing okay during AF4 to AF7. But this frigging AL Beast will not let up. It's like he is getting his ugly little toxic hands around my thoughts and gripping harder and harder.

And honestly it's exhausting. I am still fighting but I feel like he's wearing me down.

I don't have the high spirited fight I did last week and I almost gave in last night and tonight. I didn't but I'm tired of fighting.

Any suggestions? I'm pretty sure I have made it through tonight. Got through the first craving of the day at 5pm which is always the most powerful so I think I will be AF9 tomorrow.

I just want the Beast to loosen his grip. I know I have a long struggle ahead of me but I really wasn't expecting the cravings to return to the level I experienced when I was AF 2 and 3?

Any suggestions?

hi meech,it is an exhausting fight,but your doing the best thing you ccan,proven fact,talking to somone else who has the same problem,its been happening more so since the early 30 s,ive said it b4,and all say it again,just dont take the 1st drink,easier said then done,i do wish you well gyco

[Sweaty Betty]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Yep, exercise, exercise

I'm a VERY reluctant exerciser - but it just males me feel so much better!

Bets. x

[Sarasmiles]

My AF Brain is fatigued

A few quirky things that help me:

Brush your teeth. It makes you feel like you're done for the night, and who wants to taste alcohol combined with toothpaste?

Sit in front of a mirror. Look into your own eyes. Tell yourself, "I'll take care of you".

Take a shower...Relax under the warm water.

Play tetris on line. It's free, and it sucks you in.

Think ahead. Picture yourself getting into bed proud that you didn't drink, knowing that tomorrow you'll feel better for it.

Hang in there! You can beat the beast!!

[peacenik]

My AF Brain is fatigued

remember the last time you got sick from drinking and how you "never wanted to drink again". i find this triggers an almost pavlovian response in me.

keep focused on why you want to be free from al's grip and how good it will feel when you are less enmeshed in it's effects. it does get easier...

hang in there!

[Meech]

My AF Brain is fatigued

You are all helping to keep me SOBER

Great tips, ideas and common sense. I really needed this everyone. :thanks:

I actually feel much happier today and stronger. And now that I have read your great posts it has helped me even more. You have lifted me up when I was coming down fast. Thank you.

Doggy Girl - :lordhelpme:
I don't think the Serenity Prayer idea is corny at all. In fact my father was a hard core alcoholic (before I was born) and AA, a good supportive wife plus the serenity prayer is what got him sober. I have a good husband, I'll start reading the serenity prayer and I view all of you on MWO as my supportive (AA) group.

Gyco - You're right fight off that first drink. That was my motto the first 5 days and it worked. gotta keep that in mind.

Sarasmiles - good tips! I know if I have the munchies at night brushing my teeth stops that. So it may help. Cause I hate having to brush my teeth again once I've done it already at night. I like your other tips too.

EXERCISE - It's kind of funny most of you said exercise. I totally agree. My job is a life and fitness coach where I am physically hiking, running, snowshoeing, cycling, swimming etc...

TALK ABOUT A HYPICRATE. I tell people how important it is to live a healthy quality of life and then I drink 6 beers every 2 or 3 days in a week. "Do as I say not as I do" - how lame.

The crazy thing is I've been doing this (a lot of it hungover) for years now. I SERIOUSLY don't know how my body did it. And I know I can't keep this up. I have some personal athletic goals this year and I CAN"T EVEN DREAM of achieving them with alcohol. It has to go. That is something I must remind myself of every night as well.

I shall read over your replys again and again tonight when the cravings hit. Brush teeth, read, pray, go for a walk for some fresh air and clear my head and then have a cookie and a bubble bath!

I NEED to wake up to AF10 in the morning! Double Digits. Thanks again all. :h

[savon19]

My AF Brain is fatigued

I'm sure all of the above is Good advice.

I just went two months AF. And it was good. I liked it.

I then.. a few days ago... drank. It was ok. Then I drank again!

Which rather proves... if you do it, ya do it.

I'm all about doin it again.

Just sayin.

[MommyDearest72]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Meech;803275 wrote: I was doing okay during AF4 to AF7. But this frigging AL Beast will not let up. It's like he is getting his ugly little toxic hands around my thoughts and gripping harder and harder.

And honestly it's exhausting. I am still fighting but I feel like he's wearing me down.

I don't have the high spirited fight I did last week and I almost gave in last night and tonight. I didn't but I'm tired of fighting.

Any suggestions? I'm pretty sure I have made it through tonight. Got through the first craving of the day at 5pm which is always the most powerful so I think I will be AF9 tomorrow.

I just want the Beast to loosen his grip. I know I have a long struggle ahead of me but I really wasn't expecting the cravings to return to the level I experienced when I was AF 2 and 3?

Any suggestions?

Hey Meech...I feel you...Hang in there. I KNOW exactly where you are. The difference is I CHOSE to drink again. I mean I literally chose to drink again. It was as dumb a choice as drinking in the first place. I'm back on the horse and pray you stay strong....:l Stay busy too!*** Oh yeah-and its no fun consciously drinking- drinking aware ...

[MommyDearest72]

My AF Brain is fatigued

savon19;803599 wrote: I'm sure all of the above is Good advice.

I just went two months AF. And it was good. I liked it.

I then.. a few days ago... drank. It was ok. Then I drank again!

Which rather proves... if you do it, ya do it.

I'm all about doin it again.

Just sayin.

Gotta love ya Savon!:l

[Meech]

My AF Brain is fatigued

Thanks for the replys Mommy Dearest and Savon.

Good advice and JUST DON"T DO IT! I know I could be back to square one or maybe worse. So it's better to just not go there.

Thanks. Keep strong! I'll be wishing everyone here an AF night.