Here I go again...

[M22]

Here I go again...

1AF YES!!!

Hello Everyone,
This was too bad. I cooked a huge meal to keep my mind occupied. I made a lasagna, Coconut shrimp and garlic bread. I also rented a movie "17"again to watch with my daughter. What I did was take myself out of my norm. Especially watching t.v. in my living room. I didn't even turn on the t.v. I'm happy that 1AF day passed. How is everyone else doing? Please give me happy news for all my girls who are on board with NO DRINKING TODAY!!!
M-
I'll post after dishes are clean and ready to watch television with my daughter...
:l

[Meech]

Here I go again...

Hurray M22. I'm with you girl!

I caved Sunday night after 15days AF. So I am now at AF2 hoping to beat my last sober stretch. Lets do it ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Good job. We get a little stronger with every AF we accomplish. I'm proud of you.

[Luvwins]

Here I go again...

Good morning girls. I have been in an hangover free couple of weeks but only a few days in there of AF. I'm with Millie, I just have to look at that in a better than usual perspective. Last night though, I was AF, The great sleep I get from that is a wonderful reward. Hope all will have a great day.

[M22]

Here I go again...

Looking back

Hi All,
Does this happen to anyone? First of all I completed 1af last night looking forward to 2AF. I was just browsing through some pictures of mine on shutterfly. Every picture I look drunk and attached is some stupid act attached for example: Jumping in to the pool full cloth and knocking down everyone's drink. Or dancing in a party and being so twisted that I tripped or said something so stupid. Every single picture gives me a bad or embarrassing moment. I've lost many good friends because I feel embarrassed that they know I have a drinking problem or just because I've said or done something dumb. What do I do now? Not too long ago I was home on a Monday having drinks like always. My husband and son were playing flag football. My husband dislocated his shoulder and was rushed to the hospital. I was called and when I arrived all his friends were there. I said thanks to all and stayed with my man. After a while my husband said to me" You smell like alcohol" I still am not over that. My friends were always in my house and vise versa we always had a good time, now I don't want to have anything to do with them.
This is something that has been bothering me and I wanted to share.

Thanks for listening.
M-

[mama bear]

Here I go again...

I don't have pictures, but I have memories. Choosing to get drunk instead of going to my son's football game and blaming it on bad traffic. Mixing beer with Ativan and falling and needing 140 stiches in my head. Slapping my husband in the face b/c he took my beer away from me. Drinking and driving....god....the more I write the more I realize I have a problem....having my 17 year old force to me to go to bed........Mom you're drunk again......
This is very shameful for me.....
BUT I AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT WITH YOUR HELP!!!!!!

[Miss October]

Here I go again...

I'm In !

I will NOT drink today !! Everyone, be strong !!

Miss O.

[Meech]

Here I go again...

I, like everyone here has done sooo many embarassing things and compromised friendships.

The blackouts are scarey and embarassing because you can only think of the horrid things you did. Ugghhh.

My kids are still quite young although my oldest is 9yrs old. Although I have never passed out in front of her or the other 2, at this stage of my life I can choose to keep drinking and most likely get worse in my alcoholism and reduce my parenting role or stop this madness and get sober. I don't want them to start to really witnessing my drinking and see the hell it causes.

The kicker was about 4 weeks ago for the first time my daughter said "Mom how come you drink beer all the time." Well I was horrified because I knew this was the start of her really noticing and me knowing that I NEED TO STOP. When I was AF15 she didn't noticed that I wasn't drinking - so I have kept it under the radar a wee bit. I know they are smart and have started to figure a few things out. So I need to stop before it gets really bad.
I may not be falling over drunk when I'm with them but I am sure as hell not the Mother I could be when I'm hungover every other day. Neglecting many jobs and fun things I could be engaging in. And none of us were falling over drunks we had to practice at it. Just like none of us wanted to become an alcoholic when we first started drinking, but we did somehow....along the way.

Well just sharing a little more of my story. I can relate so much to many of you and I am smarter and stronger because of you!

Have a good sober day! :l

[Doggygirl]

Here I go again...

Meech;807629 wrote: I, like everyone here has done sooo many embarassing things and compromised friendships.

The blackouts are scarey and embarassing because you can only think of the horrid things you did. Ugghhh.

My kids are still quite young although my oldest is 9yrs old. Although I have never passed out in front of her or the other 2, at this stage of my life I can choose to keep drinking and most likely get worse in my alcoholism and reduce my parenting role or stop this madness and get sober. I don't want them to start to really witnessing my drinking and see the hell it causes.

The kicker was about 4 weeks ago for the first time my daughter said "Mom how come you drink beer all the time." Well I was horrified because I knew this was the start of her really noticing and me knowing that I NEED TO STOP. When I was AF15 she didn't noticed that I wasn't drinking - so I have kept it under the radar a wee bit. I know they are smart and have started to figure a few things out. So I need to stop before it gets really bad.
I may not be falling over drunk when I'm with them but I am sure as hell not the Mother I could be when I'm hungover every other day. Neglecting many jobs and fun things I could be engaging in. And none of us were falling over drunks we had to practice at it. Just like none of us wanted to become an alcoholic when we first started drinking, but we did somehow....along the way.

Well just sharing a little more of my story. I can relate so much to many of you and I am smarter and stronger because of you!

Have a good sober day! :l

Meech, if you ever get the chance to listen to an Alateen speaker, go listen. It might be hard but it will probably make your resolve rock solid to get AL out of your life for you AND for your kids. I don't even have kids and listening to these kids talk about it was really something. I think they realize more than we think they do, and a lot younger than we think they do. I think it's awesome you are taking steps NOW before the problem just gets worse, which it inevitably does.

Onward!

DG

[Ishybit]

Here I go again...

Hello,
WOW, when i logged onto this site today, I couldn't believe how these posts jumped out at me....all of your posts really hit close to home....they are ME too.
I have been hanging around this site for a couple of years but I have not managed to be very successful at abstaining.
I passed out on the couch last night in a wine induced stupor. I woke up this at 4:30 this morning with the tv and lights still on feeling like crap again. I don't remember what i was watching and the worst was that I could barely get my kids out the door for school.
I have more hungover days in a week than I have clear eyed and chipper. It makes me so depressed yet I keep this crazy cycle going.
It's just a matter of time my kids start noticing the amount and the effects of my drinking. I want to change....so today i will join you all and not have that first glass.
ishy

[M22]

Here I go again...

eye opener!

My kids are pretty young too. My son is 10 and daughter is 8. I've been telling my husband for the longest time that I have a problem. He kept telling me that I don't because I'm not hurting anyone and I am doing it in the comfort of my own home. I would tell him that I should me more responsible and not drink so much in front of my children. He would always tell me that they are kids and don't know the difference "In my heart I know that was not true" but because my husband didn't think I had a problem I would continue to do so. "I really wanted and needed and was looking for someone to tell me you may have a problem and you should do something about it. He never did. About 2 weeks ago I went grocery shopping with my daughter then to Target to buy cleaning supplies. At this point my daughter was getting annoyed and wanted to go home. I told her okay 1 more stop I promise after that we can go home she said ?LET ME GUESS TO THE WINE STORE" That broke my heart. Shortly after that I found this site. Thank GOD!! And you guys. I have been so successful. I normally want to go home and drink. Not today I am looking forward to going home and NOT drinking and completing 2 AF Days.

Talk you soon...
M
:h NO DRINKING TODAY!!

[M22]

Here I go again...

2AF DONE!!

Good Night everyone,
I am going to be now 2AF. That wasn't too bad. Actually it does get easier. I have actually done 2AF last week but 3AF, That is something that I am actually looking forward to .
Thanks "MY FAMILIA"
Have a wonderful night.

M-

[Meech]

Here I go again...

Hi Guys,

I guess when I posted earlier today about what my daughter said in January (just before I found this site) "Mom how come you drink beer all the time." And also stating that my three kids are young and I want to kick this addiction before they really notice.... hmmmm well might have been in little denial of the impact that has on them.

You are right DoggyGirl I am sure they notice a lot more than I want to admit. It's not horribly out in the open but kids are pretty smart. I don't want to EVEN THINK my drinking has effected them negatively but I'm sure it has. Even if it's little amounts. Like being bagged the next day after a binge and not connecting/playing with them.

So I am going to change while there's time and really be the good role model for them throughout their childhood, adolescense and onward.

I have to stop now before it gets worse, before the kids get older and really understand, before I really compromise my health.

M22 Great job on 2AF. Time for number 3!!
Ishybit - PLEASE join us in not drinking today. Then we will work on tomorrow when it comes.
Mamma Bear, Luvwins, Miss October good job on AF. Let's keep it going! :goodjob:

We all have one life to live. Let's not slowly commit suicide through alcohol. We deserve better.

:h

[KatieB]

Here I go again...

I totally hear you.. I know what its like to really feel that urge for a glass of wine.. but know most the time its gotten me into trouble - I am joining you in this no-alcohol day! I now work some evenings which makes it much easier for me not to drink.. its going to be hard for me tomorrow as im having lunch with friends in a pub.. but i've done 9 days AF so far.. and want to continue.. good luck and hang in there

[Luvwins]

Here I go again...

Good Morning from the west coast to all. I'm taking my two kids (9 and 7) with my brother's family for three days of skiing. It will be easy to not drink since I'm away from my main triggers at home (now of course I used to bring a little stash in the past for trips but happily I seem to have graduated from that bad behavior.)
Have a great weekend all and best wishes to all, especially to us moms staying sober for ourselves and our children!

[Doggygirl]

Here I go again...

It sounds like you guys are doing great! I'm loving the ENERGY on this thread! Meech you are not kidding about the slow suicide.

Something occurred to me kbrown when I read your mention of lunch with friends in a pub. Of COURSE you can choose not to drink - it's done a LOT every day! (if you look around you will probably see that there are more people NOT drinking than you thought there were)

Just a little sharing from my own experience, and this can be different for everyone so take it for what it's worth. I personally had great difficulty for quite a while NOT drinking in bars and in certain types of social situations - initially that was pretty much ANY time that others were drinking. I had to make some tough choices at first and put my sobriety first, and just not participate in a lot of things.

If you find you have trouble staying AF in certain situations, then STAY OUT OF THOSE SITUATIONS. It eventually gets easier. I frankly find bars to be boring these days, but I can handle them. There was a time when I couldn't, so I didn't.

Don't be afraid to say no if and when that's the right answer for your sobriety.

2 cents + a can of spam...
DG