Here I go again...

[M22]

Here I go again...

HELP!!!

Good Morning everyone,
It's really early here it's about 6am. Woke up today really disapponted in myself. How did I end up here and why can't I get out if I am soo unhappy?I didn't want to drink yesturday so I deceided to take my kids out to eat and then for some art supplies. I wanted to just kill some time in an attemp not to drink. I returned home at about 7:30pm. HOW DID I STILL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO CLEAN UP, GET MY KIDS IN BED AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR 2 OR 3 GLASSES OF WINE! " Don't remember how many" I woke up trying to remember who I spoke to last night? what did I say? Did I put the bottle away before my husband could see how much I drank? Then I paused and said... I am not going to focus on the problem because I already know what that is, I need to focus on the solution which is...???

I have to drag myself today to get ready for work and kids off to school. I have a headache and feel reallyl crappy about myself. Can someone please reach out. I need help bad!

Thanks for listening.:upset:

[M22]

Here I go again...

I hate me!!!

Again!! 6am. I just woke up feeling exactly how I did yesturday. I drank an entire bottle of wine and some. I feel horrible. Yesturday I went out and got the L-Glutmine but havent started it yet. I'm a little scared that its not going to work for me. OH MY GOD!!!! I hate this feeling, I hate myself right now.I wish I could bottle up some of this feeling so that I can just give myself a sample tonight when I open up another bottle. I neee help. This is really bad!

M
:upset:

[spuddleduck]

Here I go again...

M22. DONT HATE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF FOR TRYING SO HARD. im newly AF 13 days so i dont know if i can give much advice. i kept busy busy busy and came here to read read read. youve made the choice to try and to be here... thats a huge step. sending you strength and love xx

[SpiritGirl]

Here I go again...

This thread continues to hit so close to home... Reading it tonight is going to keep me sober... I am sure that had I not logged onto MWO I would be well into a bottle of wine... Thank you to all who keep this website alive... I pray that in time, I will slay this AL dragon... I guess the only thing worse than abusing alcohol for 3 years, is abusing it for 3 years and one day... Day 1 for me is almost over... My birthday is Wednesday I hope to spend a sober birthday week....Its the best gift I can give myself and my children...I would love for this to be THE year that it all gets better...I don't want birthdays to keep passing me by as I continue to live hating myself and my choices...

[Funny Girl]

Here I go again...

M22 see if you can get some Kudzu - that helped me a lot & you should be able to get that quickly at a health food or vitamin store - it really did cut my desire to drink - also EAT - eat a lot - I found full I wanted to drink less - so KUDZU - FOOD - BUSY - then post out here & get support.

[M22]

Here I go again...

Hello Everyone,
I just have to say that 5-7pm are the hardest times of my life. I just got home from work stopped at the store bought all the ingr for a new banana cake. I'm actually trying 2 new receipes. Took My L-Glutimine right when I got out of work. I am ready to tackle day 3. NO ONE HOME!!! Well guess what? Oh My God...peice and quiet I can drink and no one is here to bother me. I don't feel the urge to drink but why do I keep thinking of WINE!!! I've made up so many reasons why I should have some wine. No one home, beautiful day and I haven't had one in 2 days. AGHHH... I just came from the market next to the liquor store I buy all my wine and I didn't even budge. I was ok. OH GOD... I NEED HELP.