Here I go again...

[M22]

I don't remember how long it's been that I keep telling myself that TODAY I will not have a drink. Every morning I wake up with such guilt and feeling so disapointed. HERE I GO AGAIN!! Today might be tricky and more difficult because it's snowing out my family is home, my house is clean. Usually I get home from work at about 4:30pm. That gives me enough time to take care of homework, housework and cooking. By the time I get to sit it is almost 7 or 8pm. That's when I say" I've worked all day and took care of my house, I deserve to sit and un"WINE"... I guess I always find a way to justify my drinking. This is when my craving begins and Has Begun! I want to sit and have a glass of wine and just watch television. * I am not going to have the glass of wine right now! I am going to use this site as my guide and comfort. I will post all day my cravings. I have faith that today I WILL NOT DRINK!!!! Anyone interested in joining me in NOT drinking.

Thanks for listening.
M22

[JackieClaire]

Here I go again...

:welcome: M22

You've made a huge step today by making your 1st post.

Click on the link below to help you get a plan together.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Keep reading, keep posting. Ask any questions.

Wishing you all the luck in the world at the start of your journey.

J x

:l

[Luvwins]

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Hi M22 and welcome. I'd be happy to join you today in NOT drinking. I'm home, the kids are at school, we have decent weather today, and my house is messy as usual. Wednesdays are always a challenge for me because it's a day off from work and I'm a drink-at-home mom. The real craving starts at the fixing dinner hour. But today would be a really great day to not have a drop.

[BUNNY]

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Hi M22 and :welcome:

I know exactly how you feel. I joined MWO about 1 month ago and my first thread had the same title! It is very hard to work, take care of a home and raise a family, and yes having a glass to un"wine" (love that expression!) is great, if you can keep it at that. But unfortunately if we feel guilty about it is probably because it doesn't stay at just one. Joining this site has made a huge difference in my ability to quit, I have been sober now for 3 weeks, which is something I never would have thought possible before. Reaching out to people who know what you are going through makes it possible, so go ahead, reach out, there will be lots of hands here to help you.
All the best

[Lavande]

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Hi M22,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!

Use the link JC posted for you, you need to make a good plan for yourself.
If you haven't already, download & read the MWO book, it's full of useful info. I highly recommend the Hypnotherapy CDs, they help you learn to relax (without drinking) & help you clear your head so you can begin new thinking patterns.

Please feel free to drop in the 'Newbies Nest' thread for support, lots of folks there just starting out as well.
Wishing you the best on your journey

Lav

[Doggygirl]

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I'm right with you M22! I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY.

:welcome:

For me, alcohol is NOT a reward for anything. IT IS A PUNISHMENT. And I don't deserve to be punished after working hard all day. I deserve all the gifts that a sober life and clear head bring. So do you.

DG

[Meech]

Here I go again...

I am in the same situation

:welcome:

Hi M22 are you new? I joined MWO 2 weeks ago and it was the best thing I could have done. Your post sounds exactly where I was when I found this site. EXACTLY!

I have three kids so I am busy during the day with work (part time), housework, shuttling kids from school and activities. Once the day is done and the kids are settled I sit on the couch for a nice cold rewarding beer. But it is never just one. It usually always turns into 5 or 6.

The next morning I wake up guilty, ashamed, dog-tired, hungover, un-motivated to work, play with kids etc.....Then, I have a good AF night (alcohol free) until the next night, when it starts all over again. I have been the "every other day drunk" for over 10 years Sometimes I will go a few days in a row on the beer in the evenings to really feel lousy about myself. And occasionally I'll go a couple days AF.

I don't want to live the rest of my life hungover for half of it!:bang

Everyday that I woke up hungover I would say "I never want to drink again". I sounded like the biggest broken record ever!

Until..... I got onto this site. I think the key was the support and sharing your problem and having others who are in the same boat you are. The advice, tips, mind-tricks to stay away from alcohol are so helpful. I would never go to AA or let anyone know about my little problem except my husband. So keeping it a secret for me was stifling my recovery process.

I didn't go AF right away. I tried 2 days. Then caved. Then I did 3 days. Then another 3 days. Baby steps. Very few can successfully go cold turkey.

The last goal I set was to do another 3 day AF and I am now AF10days. I can't believe it!

Go get yourself some L-Glutamine from the drugstore or health food store. It helps with the cravings plus it does a lot of other wonderful things for your health. There's lots of information on it (holistic page, just starting out page etc....) I take 2000mg's I think?? - it's 4 pills a day which is twice the amount recommended on the bottle. Some people take more.

Get outside and enjoy the fresh cool air that snow brings. It will really wake you up! Dress warm and you'll be fine. Even if it's for 5 minutes. you get outside for 5 and it will turn into 10minutes and your spirits will lift a little. Try to find some kind of non-alcoholic drink that you will enjoy. And have that tonight instead of the wine. I was in such of habit of cracking a cold beer and sitting on the couch I didn't know what to do with myself the first few days of AF. So for me a sparkling peach drink in a wine glass or whatever turns your fancy and it makes me feel a little more habitual (oh believe me I still want the buzz from the beer). After a half hour the cravings do subside. AND EAT.
If I don't eat I DRINK, PERIOD.

I am notorious for feeding my family a good wholesome meal while I keep busy on the sides, cleaning up dishes etc... acting busy with a nice cold beer at my side. Then when I have finished my 6 beers at the end of the night and comfortably drunk I decide to eat.

The one motto I said to myself the first few days was "I just have to fight off one drink, the first one". That helped a little.

Set small goals. Just do AF tonight and wake up fresh and guilt free tomorrow. YOU CAN DO IT!

Let me know how you are doing. And post often. Many are here to chat if you are in a real emergancy!
:hallo:

[SpiritGirl]

Here I go again...

Welcome M22 - I can totally relate! TOTALLY... Keep checkiing back in

Meech - I almost cried when I read your post. I felt as though I was reading my own words... I spend my evenings exactly how you describe yours. Making a wholesome dinner for my family as I drnk wine and clean up the cooking mess and dishes...

The one night off (usually due to a hangover the night before) is how I live my life.. I can't remember the last time I had a good WEEK... (Well actually I can - it was July 2008 when I took Antabuse for about 3 weeks) . So sad that I haven't had one since then... Just the occasional day off to nurse myself back to feeling human...

I read some of my old posts and it breaks my heart that I am still in the same miserable place... I know it is POSSIBLE to make a change because SO many people on this sight have! I just don't know what is wrong with me... Well, I guess I do - NO PLAN! A wonderful PM friend of mine keeps telling me I need a plan, yet I don't put one into action... You would think I enjoy this by the way i neglect to make changes... UGH!

Enough about me... I can't stand ME anymore... Welcome again, M22... And today I will be AF with you..And thanks again, Meech...Your post is inspiring!

[Meech]

Here I go again...

Oh yes you can do it!

Spirit Girl you can do it. :thumbysup:

Probably 99.9% of us have had so many "do-overs" we lose track and quit counting.

It feels hopeless. But it's not. Join the AF night tonight with me and so many of us on this site. Wake up tomorrow guilt free and then give yourself a GREAT BIG HUG before you get out of bed!

Don't set too big of goals, otherwise it gets too overwhelming and you give in and maybe even drink more.

You can stand you. You are a Mom and a person who deserves so much more. What you CAN'T stand is the AL Beast. So don't be so hard on yourself. Be your own best friend cheering yourself on everyday!!!! :cheering: Be-rating yourself will only make it worse.

You can be mad as hell at the AL addictive part, but love yourself. We can do this together!!!!

MAKE A PLAN. If not a plan make a goal for yourself. My plan is just daily, trying not to drink today. I have made one goal this year (athletic goal) that can not happen with Alcohol in the picture. So I keep reminding myself - Do you want to achieve this goal? Or just wash it away with alcohol - yuck.

Make your Goal or Plan: Simple, Realistic, Attainable and Timely. Today my plan is AF 1.

There you go! :l

[M22]

Here I go again...

NOT TODAY

Hello Everyone and thank you for your inspiring words and stories. I said I would post today so here I am again. It's 5pm and this is the time when I would rush to do dinner and clean so that I could reward myself with a glass of wine. NOT TODAY! I deceided to avoid temptation today so I ordered pizza and I'm on my way to watch a movie with my family downstairs. Normally, I would want them to watch a movie together so that I can sit in front of my television and no one would see just how much I was drinking. I will take it a little at a time today but I know that tomorrow morning when I wake up not hung over or with a headache it will be worth it.
I will watch my movie now and once it's over I will Post again.

Let's keep not drinking today.
M

[Meech]

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Way to go M22. T
That's the attitude!!

[M22]

Here I go again...

I DID IT!!

Good Morning.
I did it. 1 night no drink. I haven't done that in years. Even the mornings that I was too hung over, I will wait it out and have at least 1 drink. I am really happy. I don't have a headache or hangover. I can get dressed go to work and actually look presentable.
I AM WORRIED ABOUT TONIGHT. I did one day but two. WOW.
I will keep using this site and all of your support. I couldn't have done this without all your support. Thank you sooo... much.
Have a wonderful day.
M22
:thanks:

[BUNNY]

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Way to go M22!

The first few days are the hardest, so come on here as often as you can. Look into some supplements, they really do help with the cravings. Keep up the good work and STAY STRONG!!
:goodjob:

[Grateful]

Here I go again...

That's great, M22. Like Bunny said - keep coming here as much as you can. If you have a craving tonight, remember how good you felt this morning. You can do it!!!

[M22]

Here I go again...

I'm scared I might cave...

This is when it gets scary. I normally come out of work now rush home to cook and clean looking forward to sitting in front of my tv and have wine.
I am nervous but I will stay strong.
I will continue to use this site and all the inspiring words to get me through.
Wish me luck on my journey to 2AF.

M22
***I really really hope I can do this, if not, I know tomorrow morning I will beat myself up all over again!