Just a half bottle of wine...

[BUNNY]

come on, just a half bottle, what`s that, like 2 or 3 glasses? no big deal, you`ll get back on track tomorrow.. That`s the mental battle that was going on in my head tonight. you guys all know what i`m talking about. I guess my question is "does it ever stop?" is this something i will have to go through everyday for the rest of my life? it`s nerve racking and totally exhausting.. I have been able to be AF for over 3 weeks thanks to MWO, but what if it no longer existed and I had no one to turn to, would I be able to do it on my own? I never was before...

[Funny Girl]

Just a half bottle of wine...

For some of us 'there's never enough'. Half a bottle???? What's that like? I have no idea how to moderate with anything. I did smoke for over 30 years & managed to quit that,so there is hope. I was horrible - & have not smoked since Oct 2003. So, my theory is that I can quit drinking too. I just want to get to a point where I don't think about it all the time. Then, we've won. Stick with it - even if you fall, just get back up - don't beat yourself up about it.

[Meech]

Just a half bottle of wine...

I know exactly how you feel Bunny

Hi Bunny,

I don't have any good advice for you on that dilema. In fact I am in the same one. I am so proud of you and of myself. I love having energy, I'm happier, positive, so much more active and fun with my kids, my friends, my work, myself. It's all totally great being AF.

But I have the same concern. Do I have to keep fighting this every single day for the rest of my life? I know it's worth it and all but definitely exhausting mentally.

I sure hope it stops one day. I guess it's still very new to us (especially me) you've been AF longer. That it took years of us doing this habit it's going to take a longer then a few weeks or months to fade away.

Lets hope some of our longer absteiners can give us some good hopeful advice!

Thanks for bringing up the question.
:sigh: :fingers:

[BUNNY]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Hi Funny girl and meech,

I guess I`m just real tired of THINKING about it, every single day. The cravings themselves are not even all that strong but it`s like around that certain time of day my brain just has to put that thought in my head and then the tug of war begins... I know that everything in my life is SO much better now, i do so much more stuff with my kids now, God i`ve taken my little girl shopping three nights this week for her Bday gift, me, shopping at night! that would have been inconceivable not so long ago. I sit down to do homework with them and actually focus on what they have to do. I remember clearly all the school projects and their deadlines, I actually remember all their teachers names..... I have so much more energy, i`ve lost weight without even trying, my skin and eyes have cleared up.. I mean there`s nothing but POSITIVE stuff about being AF so when is my brain going to figure that out and leave me in peace?
Thanks for your support

[allswell]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Bunny,

It does get easier. Think about the first couple of days AF where the thought of alcohol was so much stronger than it is now after a couple of weeks. The thoughts will get weaker as time goes on however there will still be thoughts. What might help is finding something else to do with that time period when you're thinking about it most. I think it is going to get easier for alot of people when the weather gets to where we can start doing outdoor activities. Sitting around the house is getting old.

[Audrey14]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Hi Bunny!!! I almost feel your feelings...But...Today i'm drunk...And..i hoped..just to have a half bottle of my favorite Amarone...It doesn't work...I have hard period but i wrote about it in my Thread already... You have small kids..please!!! You have really a great goal to stop your drinking problem.. My daughter is 17 and at the moment we're living separeted..but anyway..i remember her shame when i was drunk when she was 11, 12... Then i understood and tried to hide.. But she's so clever and smart girl.. i think she just accepts it as a status... Shame for me... I love her so much.. I don't have words to express amount of my love.. actually i love all kids and i'm sorry that i don't have more my own's ... So, please enjoy your precious time with your "small angels".... They grow so fast....

[BUNNY]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Tonight i caved in. i was at home cooking, trying to get a few dishes done for the week and I actually got in my car and went to the store to get a bottle of wine. The craving was not even that strong but I just needed to escape for a bit... So i drank half the bottle and was so pissed that i stopped. The rest is in the fridge, guess i`ll go throw it out. I`m so disappointed in myself, couldn`t even make it to a month....

[sunshine_gg]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Use your anger, Bunny. And yes, pour out the rest of that bottle.

You have however many days you managed - nobody is going to take that away. Keep going from there. It does get easier and the thoughts do weaken.

But, they seem to come in bouts - for me, at least. I had not had any 'real' drinking thoughts for months and then WHAM! they hit. Whoever said that you can NEVER let your guard down, surely knew what they were talking about.

[Meech]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Hi Bunny,

Don't be too hard on yourself. You caved but were able to stop. Wow. That's something I can never do. i am on the verge of craving. I might. Been Af15 but the beer is calling and I have no commitments tomorrow. Pick up tomorrow. It's a bump, not failure - not even close, it's a bump on a tough road. You are doing great.

Tomorrow will be AF.

[MommyDearest72]

Just a half bottle of wine...

BUNNY;806260 wrote: Tonight i caved in. i was at home cooking, trying to get a few dishes done for the week and I actually got in my car and went to the store to get a bottle of wine. The craving was not even that strong but I just needed to escape for a bit... So i drank half the bottle and was so pissed that i stopped. The rest is in the fridge, guess i`ll go throw it out. I`m so disappointed in myself, couldn`t even make it to a month....

Hi Bunny...I too fell off. What was weird about it was I drank two beers Friday, I CHOSE to... It wasnt stress induced or there was no trigger, I thought I could so I consciously did it.... No hangover, nothing embarrasing... I dont feel guilty, but I know I need to stop tempting the devil. :l... Tonight I dont need to post a new thread. I will just read yours-Thank you Bunny. Stay in there!:l

[savon19]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Well, Bunny - after going two months, I decided to "test-drive" drinking again... and quickly returned to my previous drinking pattern.

It would appear that at least for me, moderating isn't an option. But I found out that after a week or two, the thought of drinking dies out. It really got to the point where I rarely even thought about it - it was just a passing thought.

Until, for whatever reason, that ONE thought caught me & I gave in! I guess that's all it takes...

It's all a learning process, so don't kick yourself - you LEARNED something!! In this case, you learned that you have a need to "escape", and that's when alcohol came into the picture.

Having said that, I'm still learning...

[BUNNY]

Just a half bottle of wine...

All I can say girls is that it sure wasn't worth it. Yes, Sunshine, I happily poured out the rest this morning, good ridance (i have done that numerous times in the past but always with a sense of hesitation/regret, this time I couldn't wait to pour that crap down the drain). Like you MD, I consciously made the decision to drink even if I wasn't really craving it, it's like I needed to prove something to myself and I'm not even sure what that was...tempting the devil?....you might have a point, i'd better remember that, because he's a lot stronger than me... and Meech, the only reason I stopped at half the bottle is because I was already getting a major headache, obviously my tolerance has gone down big time because a half bottle in the past was just a pre-dinner drink. Hope you didn't cave in, like I said before, it really, really isn't worth it (i'm still nursing a headache this morning and I feel like crap!) Savon you're so right, this is a learning process, just a really hard one because there are so many factors involved, and not just physical ones. Habits are really hard to break...... Thanks again everyone, I really need you guys!!:thanks:

[Doggygirl]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Hi team. While I don't consider myself "long term sober" I will chime in on the question of "is it always this hard? Will I always think about it this much?...."

IT GETS EASIER!! It really does. I know that I will ALWAYS have to been an guard as alcohol truly is cunning, baffling and powerful. However my cravings and urges these days are NOTHING compared to what the first several weeks were like, and then it got a little bit easier the next several weeks, etc.

Unfortunately, if stopping AL were simply a matter of going AF for a couple of weeks and then having no cravings thereafter, there would not be a MWO web site or AA or zillions of books or "Intervention" reality TV etc. etc. This is not an easy journey, especially at first.

BUT - it's possible to get free. And I would not return to my old AL soaked life for love nor money.

The hardest part of this journey for me was FULLY ACCEPTING 100% (not 99.9999%) that I cannot safely drink, ever. It was very difficult to dig deep into my subconscious and let go of that last little shred of hope that somehow, someday I could contol my drinking. (just 1, just 2, just 1/2 bottle, just today and quit again tomorrow, etc.) "Control" is just something I cannot do with AL, period.

Keep working at this ladies. If I can do it, you can do it too.

DG

[Meech]

Just a half bottle of wine...

Hi Bunny,

Well I didn't make it last night. I had 5 1/2 beers. And as you mentioned about the tolerance. Wow what a hangover today. I felt like I had 20 beers last night! The room stopped spinning finally at 3pm today. Gross. I thought someone was taking a hatchet to my head this morning. And I almost puked (which is something I never do). I slept for about 3 hours today. INSANE!

One thing I discovered from this relapse is that I HAVE LEARNED ALOT about my relationship with alcohol and how I really want to live.

I was really surprised at my tolerance level and my brutal reaction I had today. 3 weeks ago if I had 5 1/2 beers I would have felt fatigued, bit of a headache. NOW it was a full day of painful waste. And I don't plan on re-living that again anytime soon.

I am hoping for another AF15 and even more. And knowing now that my reaction is going to be far worse after being AF for a while is another tool to put in my box to fight the cravings.

I'm not as depressed or angry as I thought I would be. Disappointed - oh yeah for sure. I can't take away what I did last night but I am sure as hell going to fight to make sure my future days are more sober, clear headed and energized.

I was probably just as disappointed having to let everyone here at MWO down. But I know you all understand and help me to get back on the AF wagon. :groupluv:

Starting on AF1 today, but feeling stronger, more determined and not as scared this time around.

Good luck to you Bunny and Sav I hope you're determination is growing too!

DoggyGirl thanks for you words, I am looking forward to it getting easier. I know I can't safely drink. 100% AF is really the method I need to follow. I can't moderate. Just stay away from it and life is good.

:h:thanks:

[MommyDearest72]

Just a half bottle of wine...

:groupluv:I love you guys...Everyday is a challenge and we just have to be up for it. I know one thing though, pms sure doesnt help any! Im going start to watch those days a bit closer. Stay strong.:h

BUNNY;806473 wrote: All I can say girls is that it sure wasn't worth it. Yes, Sunshine, I happily poured out the rest this morning, good ridance (i have done that numerous times in the past but always with a sense of hesitation/regret, this time I couldn't wait to pour that crap down the drain). Like you MD, I consciously made the decision to drink even if I wasn't really craving it, it's like I needed to prove something to myself and I'm not even sure what that was...tempting the devil?....you might have a point, i'd better remember that, because he's a lot stronger than me... and Meech, the only reason I stopped at half the bottle is because I was already getting a major headache, obviously my tolerance has gone down big time because a half bottle in the past was just a pre-dinner drink. Hope you didn't cave in, like I said before, it really, really isn't worth it (i'm still nursing a headache this morning and I feel like crap!) Savon you're so right, this is a learning process, just a really hard one because there are so many factors involved, and not just physical ones. Habits are really hard to break...... Thanks again everyone, I really need you guys!!:thanks: